BIG NEWS, folks (and yes, I’m kind of being sarcastic): Zayn Malik has dropped out of the One Direction tour due to “stress”. Of course, “stress” in this situation translates to “I got caught cheating on my fiancée and I can’t handle being called out as the fuckboy I am”. Am I getting ahead of myself? Okay, let me back up.
One Direction was doing a show in Thailand last weekend, and while there, Zayn got cozy with a woman who is NOT Perrie Edwards, who published this photo on her public Instagram page (which is now private, since she was getting threatened by the 1D fanbase):
After fans started going mental online, Zayn got all defensive, claiming that it’s not what it looks like and the girl is just a fan – which I’m sure she is… a fan of that dick! Here’s what he wrote on Twitter:
Nevermind that there were a lot of pap pics of them leaving the club together HOLDING HANDS. Sorry, but you do not put your arm around a fan like he is in the photo above, or press your face against hers, or LEAVE A CLUB HOLDING HER HAND as you lead her back to whatever sleazy place you cheat on your girlfriend. Triflin’.
Anyhoo, he won’t have to deal with too much backlash, because he immediately had a “doctor” sign him off on “stress”:
This whole thing is a hot ass mess. I’m sure he was off his heads on drugs (we’ve all heard THOSE rumours) when he cheated on her, but “stress”? How are PR people really using this in 2015? SMH…
In one of the most ill-advised couplings I’ve ever laid eyes on, One Direction‘s Zayn Malik and Little Mix singer Perrie Edwards got engaged earlier this year, because nothing says “lifelong partnership” more than a cheating scandal, of course. In any case, they’re going to tie the knot and there’s nothing any of us can do about it, okay?
While no wedding has been planned as yet (that we know of, anyway), apparently they may hold a ceremony in Barbados soon. This according to Perrie in an interview with The Mirror:
It’s a wedding to cement two souls… and one that will break about two billion teenage hearts.
But Perrie Edwards and Zayn Malik’s nuptial plans are gearing up a notch, with the Little Mix star revealing they’re now considering a beachside ceremony – in Barbados.
Which, of course, would make perfect sense given their mutual boss, and X Factor matchmaker Simon Cowell has a home there.
And while the loved-up pair, who got engaged three months ago, were expected to tie the knot next year, I can reveal they are now looking at a 2015 do.
The Little Mix lady confirmed: “I think maybe Barbados; I would like it on the beach. There may well be an Indian element for Zayn’s family… I’d like that.”
The couple, who first snogged backstage at X Factor when the girls got through to the live finals stage, reunited last week after One Direction’s Take Me Home world tour finally came to a close.
It means the One Direction pin-up and Perrie can spend the next few weeks finalising plans for their much-hyped bash. A source adds: “Absolutely nothing has been set in stone and they’re both floating ideas around all the time.
Well, that sounds… special. I know this probably makes me a bit of a pessimist but there’s no way these two are going to last. Although if Perrie is the permissive type and doesn’t mind what Zayn sticks his dick in every now and again, maybe they’ll prove me wrong. It’s a shame, though! I love me some Little Mix and they’re great inspirations to little girls. I know your personal life doesn’t have to become public, but keep that girl power going and maybe stand up for yourself? Eh, these waters are deeper than I can be bothered to wade into this morning, especially when it concerns teen popstars.