Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Patrick Schwarzenegger

Is Patrick Schwarzenegger Miley Cyrus’ New Man?

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Miley Cyrus, MAC Viva Glam spokesperson, may have found a new man, and in Patrick Schwarzenegger — you know, Arnold‘s kid. (By the way, I’m still unclear if Patrick wants to go with Shriver or Schwarzenegger as a last name — he uses both, and PEOPLE went with Schwarzenegger, so I will, too.)

They were photographed making out at a USC game (above). I am dying that he’s holding his phone in one hand. PEOPLE claims he’s using it to take a selfie of their kiss. Yeah, I don’t think so. Here’s more on the “story”:

It wasn’t the first time they had turned up together. The model-actor and pop star, both 21, were spotted riding together in a chauffeured SUV on Wednesday after they left a Q&A session in Hollywood for a film produced by Schwarzenegger’s mom, Maria Shriver, titled Still Alice, TMZ reported.

They were also seen together on Halloween when they hit up Universal’s Haunted Hayride, and a source confirmed to PEOPLE they’d been visiting each other’s homes.

Okay, so I guess they’re a thing now. Miley hasn’t posted anything about it on her Twitter or Instagram…yet. Patrick hasn’t tweeted about it or instagrammed it either.

It’s hard to say who is a worse influence. Patrick is kind of a jerk, and Miley is, well, Miley.

What do you think of this coupling?

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Schwarzenegger’s Kid Is Kind Of A Jerk

arnold schwarzenegger son patrick

Arnold Schwarzenegger‘s 19 year old son, Patrick, was kicked out of Sayers, LA’s #1 eye rollingest club, on Saturday night. He used a fake ID to get in and then, being a super smart guy, acted like a rowdy jackass by throwing ice cubes at the DJ. (Could have been worse; he could have gone Morrissey style and hanged the wretched DJ.) Honestly, who throws ice cubes? Oh, right, an entitled 19 year old asshole.

Then, upon being kicked out, he went all Justin Bieber and shouted he was going to, “Beat the f-ck out of the DJ.”

If he and Bieber aren’t already BFF…then let’s not stop them.

TMZ has more:

“I’m gonna go beat the f**k out of the DJ,” [Patrick] told a group of friends while outside the club.

He then continued complaining to another friend, “Everyone around me wants to beat the f**k out of the DJ … [it sounds like Patrick says 'gay boy'] … I’ll beat the f**k out of him.”

“He kicks everybody out of his table, losing money for the club, losing money for the owner.”

… as Patrick tries to get into an SUV to leave the scene, he’s DENIED by the driver — and Patrick proceeds to condescendingly wave his hand in the driver’s face. Another diva moment.

What? Ugh. Of course he thinks this is how life works. And I’m sure nothing will come of this. At least he didn’t go on a racist tirade like Sean Penn’s kid. So, I mean, there’s that small saving grace? Although he may have called someone gay as an insult…not really sure what TMZ is implying there.

If you’re going to behave like that, why not just invite a bunch of your idiot friends over to your house where you can have a giant ice pelting party and do whatever the f-ck you want? And seriously, dude, Sayers sucks. That’s just embarrassing.

Maria Shriver Doesn’t Want That Floozy, Taylor Swift, Coming Near Her Son

A photo of Taylor Swift

“I don’t want that slutty whore touching my baby boy! Tell her to keep her filthy whore hands to her filthy whore self, because if she comes nosin’ around my house, I got a shotgun that’ll nose right back! She ain’t nothin’ but trash, and I won’t have that, not for my son. If she wants a new man, she can go to the STREET CORNER or the DUMP, not my neighborhood. I’m ain’t havin’ it.”

- Maria Shriver on why she doesn’t want Taylor Swift dating her son, Patrick Schwarzenegger*.

But yeah, remember how Taylor spent her Fourth of July with little Patrick? We weren’t sure if they were dating or if they were just hanging out, but whatever it was then, it looks like it’s getting a little more serious now. Serious enough for Maria Shriver to tell her to move along.

From the National Enquirer via Celebitchy:

Maria Shriver doesn’t want Taylor Swift singing any love songs to her hunk son Patrick Schwarzenegger — and she’s told the country supersar to take a hike. Maria fears Taylor will chew him up, spit him out and then write a song about him as she’s done with previous famous boyfriends.

“Maria got word to Taylor and warned her not to get any ideas about datingPatrick,” revealed an insider. “She basically told Taylor to ‘back off.’”

The singer was photographed cozying up to recent high school grad Patrick at an Independence Day gathering at the Kennedys’ Hyannis Port, Mass., compound.

Taylor is a longtime Kennedy family friend, and an excited Patrick tweeted that the festivities were “the best 4th of July I could ask for.”

Said the insider: “Maria is worried that Taylor will lead Patrick on and then leave his heart shattered in a million pieces, like she’s done with other guys.”

While Maria thinks Taylor is a sweet girl, “she’s 100 percent opposed to Patrick dating her,” said the insider. “He’s entering the University of Southern California in the fall and she doesn’t want anything distracting him.”

Poor Taylor Swift. One way or another, it seems like she’s always looking for love in all the wrong places. But that’s an interesting theory that Maria has in that story up there: do you think Taylor Swift gets her heart broken with every relationship she has, as her music would have us believe, or do you think that she’s really just one of those psychotic girlfriends who destroys all the guys she dates, just so she’ll have material for her songs?

That kind of thought almost makes me feel sorry for John Mayer. Almost.

*This isn’t a direct quote**.

**I don’t think.

PHOTO: Taylor Swift Has a New Man!

photo of taylor swift and patrick schwarzenegger pictures
Eyewitness sources claim that Taylor Swift has a new boy “friend”—and it’s none other than the son of another famous cheater, Arnold Schwarzenegger.

TMZ had cameras in the area up in Massachusetts yesterday for the Fourth of July, and they happened to catch Taylor flirting madly and disappearing on a long walk with Arnold’s eighteen-year-old son, Patrick Schwarzenegger.

It’s unknown if Taylor and Patrick are officially dating, or if Patrick wants to avoid that real-label shit like the plague—’cause who wants to be sung about in a negative way in six months anyhow—but judging from the above photo, it sure looks like the two were having fun.

Now if Taylor could just start dating men who are mature (this Patrick boy and Taylor Lautner aren’t exactly “mature” at the young age of 17 and 18; and dating the notoriously immature John Mayer doesn’t really do much for girl’s reputation in choosing men), she might actually be doing well for herself. She sure is getting around, at any rate.

‘Til then, I have no doubts that we’re probably going to hear some crappy, twangy country song courtesy of Taylor Swift squawking about how the apple don’t fall so far from the tree and how pregnant maids aren’t people—especially when they’re on their backs f-cking the real number one number two number three love of your life.

Bo-ring.