Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Orlando Bloom

Is Orlando Bloom Single Again?

photo of orlando bloom pictures miranda kerr photos
From Celebrity Fix:

Both Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom have been spotted without their wedding rings, sparking rumours their marriage is in trouble.

29-year-old Miranda was snapped without hers in New York last week, and a friend of the couple told Famous magazine that their relationship could be on the rocks.

“[Miranda and Orlando's marriage] might be in trouble,” they said.

“She’s not wearing her ring, and she’s had a lot on her plate — it could be that somewhere along the way her relationship with Orlando may have slipped between the cracks,” said the friend.

But Miranda’s new rep, Annie Kelly, has denied the claims. “There is absolutely no truth in the headline or story,” she said.

First, these days, I don’t even know why these celebrities’ reps decide to issue statements. It’s like, you either are or you aren’t splitting up, but one thing is for certain—reps lie. They constantly tell tall tales for the sake of damage control and kids, and they’re absolutely, indubitably not to be trusted.

Second? This wouldn’t surprise me at all. When Orlando started dating Miranda after his long-term relationship with the relatively-down-to-earth Kate Bosworth, I was kind of surprised. Miranda was, of course, a Victoria’s Secret model with enough glamorous pamper-my-ass baggage to sink a ship, and I didn’t think Orlando really got down with high-maintenance chicks like that (but what the hell do I know). Yeah, they built a sweet little family, but Miranda‘s always running her pretentious little mouth as to how people should live, and honestly, is starting to come across a little bit like our favorite good-living guru, Gwyneth Paltrow.

I’m hearing lately that she’s always talking about “natural” childbirth, “natural” living, “natural” gardening, “natural” everything, and while there’s nothing wrong with that whatsoever, it’s all in the way you’re perceived, and word on the street is that Miranda can be a condescending, judgey little bitch who acts all entitled to everything wonderful and pure and clean and non-pedestrian.

I wonder what’s up with all of this, huh?

Quotables: Kate Bosworth Was Destroyed Over Orlando Bloom Breakup

photo of orlando bloom and kate bosworth pictures photos pics

“I definitely know the meaning of pain. You know when you put all your chips into something and then it disappears? It sent me into such pain. I think I had actual vertigo. I was like, ‘Is this my new reality?’ Will anything be normal again? Then one day you wake up and you think, okay, I’ll never be the same, but I’ll survive and I’ll grow from it.”

I totally know how you feel, girl. I heard it was the very same for Orlando when he and I broke up, too. Seems he just didn’t know where his life was headed. It hurts for everyone, you’re right, but you do grow from it. Good luck with that healing process – it’s a long and tedious one, friend.

A First Look at Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom’s New Baby, Flynn Bloom

photo of miranda kerr and baby flynn bloom pictures

In case you guys didn’t know, Miranda Kerr, who was impregnated by the revered seed of holy hotness Orlando Bloom, gave birth to a sweet, large baby boy on January 6th. Baby Flynn Bloom tipped the scales at almost ten pounds, which is just craziness, because Miranda was rumored to have delivered him vaginally. With no painkillers. OUCH. I mean, it’s not like Miranda is all that buxom and Orlando all that burly.

Looks like all that organic eating makes all the difference, guys.

Congrats to the little family to the birth of Flynn. I think he’s a keeper!

More Photos of Miranda Kerr Carrying Orlando Bloom’s Sure-To-Be-Gorgeous Child

photo of victoria's secret model miranda kerr and husband orlando bloom pregnant pictures

Yup. The cutest pregnant woman of all time, and one of the hottest male actors in history. You can’t tell me that this child won’t be genetically blessed with looks, talent and sophistication.  Because if you do?  You’re just talking out your ass.

Miranda was photographed yesterday in NYC with husband Orlando Bloom (and a Balenciaga bag, thanks), who looked every bit the doting dad already. I’m just a bucket of blubbering, quivering emotion over here at the sight of Bloom reaching his hand out to guide his heavy-with-child goddess of a wife up over the nasty old cracked curb, the love in Miranda’s eyes apparent as she silently gloats that this fine piece of man is all hers.

I mean, fuck. Wouldn’t you*?

*The answer is yes. It isn’t a trick question — in fact, there is no other answer.

OK, I’m Confirming That Miranda Kerr is Pregnant

I’ve been reading all over the webs over the past twenty-four hours that Miranda Kerr is pregnant, and a lot of the stories seem kind of vague in their confirmations. This one says that Orlando “accidentally” leaked it to hotel staff, another one features Heidi Klum talking about how adorable a Mirlando child will be, so you know what? I’m taking this fucking ball, and I’m running with it.

MIRANDA KERR’S PREGNANT! OMG! WTF! WOW!

OK, now that we’ve got that covered, multiple sources have confirmed that Kerr’s carrying the offspring of Orlando Bloom in her womb (hey, that rhymes … if you pronounce womb correctly, anyway; I’ve heard stranger things), and I really think it’s true. Miranda sat for an interview earlier in the year and stated that she’d love nothing more than to settle down and raise kids on a solar-powered farm somewhere out in God’s country. So, girl, here’s your chance. Orlando must be stoked. You turned him down twice (that we’re aware of), so maybe he just decided to take matters into his own hands and “fake” a condom or accidentally toss one of your birth control pills down the drain. Oopsie!

A preemptive congratulations to the parents to be!

Of Course There Are Already Pregnancy Rumors

Just a few days after Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr got married, several people are speculating that the quick marriage was due to Miranda being knocked up, and those rumors weren’t helped along when Miranda cancelled an appearance in an upcoming fashion show.

The Daily Mail claims that sources say Miranda’s already three months’ pregnant, and an Australian columnist has said that they’ve already announced the pregnancy to friends and family. And here’s a quote Miranda made a few weeks ago:

“I have always been very open about wanting to be a mother one day. And I’ve always thought Orlando would be a great dad.”

What do you think?  Was the wedding rushed to avoid having a child out of wedlock, or are they just in love?  If and when the couple does have children, would they not be the most adorable celebrity offspring?  Do you even care about the state of Miranda Kerr’s uterus?

A Little Bit Of Me Died Today

I just found out that Orlando Bloom finally caved and married that beast Miranda Kerr. I mean, it doesn’t exactly surprise me; they got engaged last month, so it was maybe a little bit inevitable, but I’m briefly saddened nonetheless.

The first time I saw Bloom grace the silver screen was in Elizabethtown (yeah, I’m not such a Lord of the Rings fan) with Kirsten Dunst, and I was smitten since.

Congratulations on marrying one of the most beautiful women on the planet, Orlando — I could expect nothing less from you, and I’m wishing you guys all the happiness in the world, so, whatever.

These two crazy kids are out celebrating their marriage, on their honeymoon, and probably having lots and lots of hot sex. And for that? I am jealous. But I got mine — that picture above? Hottest. thing. ever.