Surprise! Kim Kardashian is already putting her 13-month-old daughter North West out on the Hollywood ho stroll, just like Mama Kris did to her all those years ago. You see, Kim and Kanye are super private people who are protective of their daughter and want her to choose whether or not she wants to be famous and in the spotlight when she’s old enough to do so… which is why they’ve had her modeling in Caroline Roitfeld’s fall issue of CR Fashion Book.
So what on earth is this miniature human wearing? Well, she’s donning a Chanel brooch, Lorraine Schwartz diamond studs and her picture has a classic Karl Lagerfeld quote next to it: “It’s never too early to start caring about fashion!” Some would, of course, disagree.
This poor, poor child. Every time I see her, I feel worse and worse for the life she’s destined to live.
August 14, 2014 at 8:00 am by Jennifer
Kanye West‘s testimony at his Los Angeles assault trial against a paparazzi is just too fucking rich, man. While yesterday we heard that he claimed he’s the smartest celebrity there is, today we hear of his deep-seated fears: that paparazzi will fly drones over his house, lose control of said drones and then crash them into the pool while his 1-year-old daughter is swimming, thereby electrocuting her to death. Uh…
In the depo … Kanye sarcastically asks the photog’s lawyer, “Is your daughter stalked by like drones? Are there drones flying where she’s trying to learn how to swim at age 1?”
Kanye goes on … “Wouldn’t you like to just teach your daughter how to swim without a drone flying? What happens if a drone falls right next to her? Would it electrocute her?”
As for how that could happen, Kanye says, “Could it fall and hit her if that paparazzi doesn’t understand how to remote control the drone over their house?”
Oh, dear. I mean… what? I suppose this goes a ways in explaining why he and Kim just abandoned the house they were renovating to buy a new one for $20 million in Hidden Hills, California. It has its own vineyard, two spas, two swimming pools, two barbeque centers (JEALOUS) and is set on 3.5 acres of land. More money than sense, I’ve always said.
August 7, 2014 at 8:30 am by Jennifer
Okay, as much as I can’t stand her parents, you have to admit that little North West is absolutely adorable. And she’s getting so big! Kim Kardashian posted this photo of his special guest with Kanye West in the studio online over the weekend in an attempt to prove that he and Kim do actually spend time with their child. I do have a slight concern that poor North never seems to be smiling, but would you?
August 5, 2014 at 12:00 pm by Jennifer
North West recently celebrated her first birthday – they grow up so fast, don’t they?! – and she’s learning how to walk. Apparently after a swim lesson yesterday, she took her first steps, prompting Kim Kardashian to post the above photo on Instagram to share her happy news and say how proud she and Kanye are of their daughter.
I’m actually surprised Kim didn’t miss North’s first steps because she was too busy taking pictures of her own ass. Small miracles.
Now that North can walk, however, that means she’ll be able to run, soon. Once she can, I recommend she runs straight out the front door of their house and as far away from her insane parents as possible.
July 24, 2014 at 11:00 am by Jennifer
Growing up, I thought having my 8th birthday party at McDonald’s and playing in the ball pit was the SHIT and that I was living large. Turns out, that was nothing compared to the type of birthday parties North West, infamous 1-year-old daughter of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, will be having. Despite being an infant who will never remember any of this, her parents threw her a “Kidchella”-themed shindig complete with carnival rides, food stands and Aunt Khloe in a controversial headdress (???).
From US Weekly:
In addition to the ferris wheel, there was a big bounce house for kids, as well as various food stands for lemonade, sno-cones, funnel cake, churros, and cotton candy.
“Kim was holding North a lot of the time, and the party seemed to be geared towards a little bit older kids,” an eyewitness tells Us Weekly. “But it was a family party with all ages, and no matter what age they were, they were having a great time. There was so much to do.”
Perhaps unsurprisingly, there are no actual photos of North West being at this party, so who knows if she even was? Either way, I think it’s pretty clear this was just an excuse for the adults to have fun rather than the kids. That’s okay, too, obviously – I love carnivals! – but why even bother to call it a birthday party?
June 23, 2014 at 5:00 am by Jennifer
Little North West, daughter of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, celebrated her first birthday on Sunday, which blows my mind because seriously, I feel like she was only born 2 or 3 months ago. Where does the time go?
Her birthday happened to fall on Father’s Day, and Kim posted the above photo of Daddy and baby on her Instagram page yesterday that is way too cute – and that’s coming from someone who really cannot be bothered with anyone in this family.
Here’s her caption:
This is what life is about! Our baby girl turned 1 today! We played so hard they passed out while we were watching the game! Happy Father’s Day to the best daddy in the world! The way you love our daughter and protect her makes me filled with so much love! #BestDayEver #Twins #HappyFathersDay #HappyBirthday
Cute. They even went out and about for the day, just so the paparazzi could get some nice, clear pictures of the family. Again, I like to be fair and impartial, so I gotta say, Kimmycakes is looking chic and sleek in these photos. Get it, girl… and then quickly go away again.