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Niecy Nash

Niecy Nash advocates daily blow jobs to avoid divorce

niecy nash

We don’t talk much about Niecy Nash around here, and I don’t quite know why not. After all, she’s batshit crazy, and we love that, so… clearly I fell off on that one. But I’m here to make things right! I mean, how can I not share Niecy’s recent interview with Playboy, wherein she talks about random shit including her book (It’s Hard to Fight Naked) how ladies should give their man a blow job every day if they want to stay married forever. Kewl advice, tell me more!

What I say in the book is, “A BJ a day keeps the divorce attorney away” and I say that because I feel like men are profoundly simplistic, which is the reason I wanted to call my book what I used as the title of chapter three, which is, “Stomach Full, Penis Empty: A Woman’s Guide to a Happy Marriage.” Keeping him fed and drained, you have no problem. We are really more complicated than they are and I think that women are more generous with oral sex because we nurture by nature. We want to be pleasing by nature, that’s in our DNA, so I think that a lot of the behavior we’re looking for sexually, you might have to educate your partner. Sometimes, men just assume they’re going to get it and you need to be like, “Give me mine. Ladies first.”

What’s so interesting is that [women are] more willing to have conversations about “Do you want to get married? Where do you see this relationship going? Do you want to have children?” than we are to ask, “What kind of sex do you like? What are you into there?” You know what I mean? And that’s a conversation that a lot of people dive into but if you’re going to be with someone for the rest of your life and they’re failing to meet your sexual needs is like doing a slow dance with death. We need to make sure we can meet right there in the middle. The best thing that could have ever happened to me, and I was so fearful when I did it, was I got my tubes tied and had a hysterectomy. It gives me and my husband a different liberty — we can do what we do anytime, anywhere, at a moment’s notice. So that’s a sidebar into my situation, but I can get the party started.

I mean, I… guess I can kinda see what she’s saying… sorta? By that I mean, when you’re in a relationship with someone long term, you want to make sure ALL of their needs are met – emotional, mental, physical, and yes, sexual. But if you’re using blow jobs to keep your relationship together, chances are you’re covering up far bigger problems than sex can fix.

Anyhoo, I’m probably not the best person to sound off on this one. Ladies (and applicable gentlemen)?

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This Is When It’s Time to Give Up

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This is so sad. I’ve been getting emails from this PR firm for a couple days now, begging me to publicize some party for their hemorrhoid product. Ali Landry and Niecy Nash were both there, playing darts or something. You guys, this is so tragic. I can’t even handle the tragicness of this. There’s a toilet on the floor. And on the Niecy Nash picture, there’s an image of an anus on the TV screen behind her. Honestly, Niecy, I understand your desire to respect your professional obligations, but there are limits. If I were you, I would have walked into that party, taken one look at the toilet on the floor and the anus on the big screen, and politely thanked them for their time and left. I would not have stuck around to play darts and be photographed with the toilet and the anus. But that’s just me.

You guys, why did there need to be a toilet on the floor? Were they intentionally trying to make these celebrities look as pathetic as possible so that bloggers like me would run the photos? If so, mission accomplished. I ran the photos. Now, please, PR firm, stop sending me photos of celebrities flushing away their dignity.

Good Mama!

Niecy Nash and Her Daughter, Pictures, Photos

Niecy Nash took her daughter to the Mad Money premiere in LA.

I love Niecy Nash. I wish she were my aunt.*

*Not that my current aunt — who I know reads this blog — isn’t the bestest auntie ever. :)