Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Nicole Kidman

Quotables: Tom Cruise Really Depressed Nicole Kidman

photo of nicole kidman crying pictures sad face pic

“… I got married really fast and really young. But I don’t regret that because it got me (my children) Bella and Connor and I did have a fantastic marriage for a long period. Then when it didn’t work out I had to really dig deep and find my way through depression. I have no regrets about all of it. It was all part of growing up.”

So I suppose it’s not quite accurate to say that Tom Cruise literally depressed Nicole Kidman, because she kind of alludes to the fact that her depression was as a result of her split with Tom, who she wed when she was a young twenty-three, and with whom she spent eleven years. But I have no doubts that Scientology and craziness definitely attributed to her depression, because seriously. When you’re married to the Savior of Scientology and he, duh, loves Scientology, how does one—even one as lovely as Nicole Kidman, pre-Botox face—compare with that? How does one compare with the cryogenically-frozen L. Ron Hubbard DNA that was apparently just too high class for the likes of Nicole?

God. I’d be depressed, too.

Nicole Kidman Had Some Advice for Katie Holmes

A photo of Nicole Kidman

Do you remember when Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman got divorced? I don’t, because I was too busy growing boobs and getting spitballs stuck in my hair on the bus, but I hear it was a pretty big deal. Apparently what happened was in 2001, Tom’s spokesperson announced their separation, and then two days later Tom filed for divorce. Nicole, meanwhile, was just like “what?” She was also three months pregnant when Tom filed, and she miscarried just a little bit after that. When Tom heard that news, he was (allegedly) pretty “whatever” about it. So basically it was a weird, awful situation all around, and everyone felt sorry for poor Nicole Kidman.

That’s one of the reasons why what Katie Holmes did is so awesome. And that’s also why it’s so great that Nicole called Katie up to give her a well-deserved “you go, girl!”:

Nicole Kidman has allegedly been in touch with Tom Cruise’s soon-to-be third ex-wife Katie Holmes and has reportedly told her to “stay strong”.

Last week, the Aussie actress was reportedly “laying low” after news broke that Katie was filing for divorce after five years of marriage to the ‘Mission: Impossible’ star.

Now magazine have since reported that Nicole and Katie have been in touch, with Nicole offering her advice but the magazine also reports that she was not surprised by the split which has left Hollywood in shock.

“Nicole told her to stay strong,” a source told Now magazine. “She and Katie have only spoken a handful of times, but Nicole always secretly thought she was a lot stronger than she seemed.”

They also added: “She was convinced Katie would ‘snap’ one day. She was right.”

Nicole has two children with Tom, Isabella and Connor, and after a 10 year marriage to the actor, Nicole has moved on with new husband Keith Urban and have two children together.

Since that story was published, Nicole’s rep denied it, but I don’t really buy the denial. I want to believe that Nicole thinks it’s wonderful that Tom is finally getting what’s been coming to him for a while now, and the denial was issued because she wants to keep herself out of this Scientology shitstorm as much as possible.

Here’s hoping that Katie and Nicole become united in trashing Tom to the media, and that when Tom starts looking for love again, he goes for someone who was originally on the list with Katie Holmes: Lindsay Lohan. A girl can dream, right?

The One Where Nicole Kidman Pees on Zac Efron and We’re All Supposed to Cheer

photo of zac efron pictures matthew mcconaughey pictures
No wonder Zac has such a public hard-on for Nicole. It’s all coming together now! She pissed on his face, and he’s been sprung ever since!

From Contact Music:

The scene takes place after Efron’s character, Jack, storms off in a fury of teenage angst. He swims out to sea to calm himself down but gets stung by a jellyfish in the process. Kidman pushes aside a group of girls who are about to pee on his stings and does it herself.
Matthew Mcconaughey (‘The Lincoln Lawyer’), who plays Jack’s brother, insists that that is the correct way to treat a jellyfish sting, while John Cusack (‘Being John Malkovich’), who plays a prisoner in correspondence with Kidman, remarks ‘Of all the things in the movie that are shocking, that was kind of a light scene!’

People who protested to the screening at Cannes Film Festival included Empire’s Nick de Semlyen who posted on Twitter, ‘Did not wake up today expecting to almost instantly see Nicole Kidman p*ssing on Zac Efron’s face. Thanks for that, The Paperboy.#Cannes.’

See what happens here? Zac Efron gets a taste (um, literally) of the A-list and he thinks he’s all Don Juan DeMarco now. It’s the only other explanation for all of his silly little interviews talking about the simplicity of taking off bras and dropping MAGNUM condoms on the red carpet during photo calls … it’s all starting to gel for me, and I have to say—I couldn’t be laughing harder right now.

And the recent write-up in People makes this whole thing even funnier:

The movie, directed by Lee Daniels (Precious), is set in Florida in 1969 amid racial strife. Efron is 20-year-old Jack, the younger brother of a journalist (played by Matthew McConaughey) who has come back to his family’s small town to investigate whether a man was wrongly condemned to death row. Kidman’s character is fixated on the inmate.

In one early scene, Kidman tears off her pantyhose and has an orgasm while visiting the prisoner (played by John Cusack) on death row. Later, her character urinates on Efron on a beach after he is stung by jellyfish.

Of the film, Zac says:

“I don’t think I was supposed to feel comfortable,” he explained of the revealing [white underwear] shoot. “It’s like life. This character is supposed to be learning the ways of the world, and that can be very uncomfortable. But it’s also exciting.”

Oh, honey, of course it is. You’re twenty-four years old. Let’s just see how you feel about being peed on by a sixty-year-old when you’re forty, though, OK? Then we’ll go on and talk about the ways of the world, alright, sweetheart?

MORE Blind Items REVEALED: Liev Schreiber Punched Sean Penn

Faceless woman in a nice pink dress

You guys, I almost totally forgot! The Entertainment Lawyer who scribes Crazy Days and Nights is finally “naming names,” as is his hallowed New Year’s Day tradition.

Emily hit on some of the year’s best, most salacious scandals, but you guys! THERE IS SO MUCH MORE.

- Now we know for sure: Lea Michele is starting to behave like a real diva.

- Chris Brown is kind of a dickwad—a “Don’t you know who I am?” kind of dickwad.

- Stars who hate each other: Rob Lowe and Amy Poehler, Evan Rachel Wood and Kate Winslet.

Read More

Love It or Leave It: Nicole Kidman Is Not OK

A photo of Nicole Kidman

There is something wrong with Nicole Kidman, you guys.  You can tell because of this ensemble and also by what she’s doing to her face. Now, I could talk for a while about her face, but her face is neither here nor there (it is, in fact, lost in time and space*, floating through the cosmos in a place where it can never be seen again).  No, right now we are going to talk about the atrocity that she decided to put on her body for last night’s CMT Awards.  Gag me with a fucking spoon.

If you guys could analyze everything that’s wrong with this whole picture while I curl up in a ball and try to will myself to die, I would really appreciate it.

*And in meaning.  Rocky Horror, everybody.

Nicole Kidman Figured Out How to Work YouTube

Whoa, girl. Just whoa.

Nicole Kidman‘s gone and joined the twentieth century by opening up a YouTube account (LOLZ) and sending candid, totally unstaged, unscripted messages to her fans for supporting her and appreciating her for all of these years and whatever.

I couldn’t really decipher a lot of what she was saying, since she’s got such a breathy, little girl voice and I don’t have the best hearing as it is, but judging by her facial expressions, she did a smart and avoided the Botox injections this week. Good on you, girl. I’m glad you’re opening up and talking to your fans, now, but let’s move into the current century and at least open up a Twitter if you’re going to do this sort of shameless self-promotion.

Quotables: Nicole Kidman on New Baby, Faith

photo of nicole kidman keith urban pictures kissing

“I wanted to be able to tell everybody because I was so excited about her. We just decided this was our thing together. It kind of just perpetuated itself … [And] it protects her and it protects everyone in the situation.”

So Kidman and husband, Keith Urban, had a child born via surrogate at the end of December, if you hadn’t already heard, and kudos to them for keeping something this big a secret, right? I guess, though, when you use a surrogate, or adopt, like Sandra Bullock, you don’t have to worry all that much about letting the cat out of the bag – it’s not as if you’re being spotted with a bump.

Also, Nicole and Keith named the new baby girl Faith Margaret, which I rather like. It’s old-fashioned, it’s sweet, and it makes me think of red-haired Southern belles baking peach pies in the kitchen. In addition?  I think the Kidman-Urbans have a deep appreciation for religion or church at the very least – their first child, Sunday? New baby, Faith? It speaks for itself maybe.