Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Muy Caliente!


Nickelodeon and Mattel hate your child.

How do I know?

The silhouette above is the new Dora the Explorer. Apparently, the two companies feel that they need Dora to “grow up”  along with her fans instead of say, I don’t know, staying normal and attracting NEW fans. They gave her some big pagent-y hair, what I’m sure are sparkly flats, and what appears to be a dangerously short skirt. You cannot “explore” anything worthwhile in a skirt that short without showin’ what the good lord gave ya.

I don’t even watch Dora (I have no children) and I’m a little miffed about this. Why not give her an older sister or something? Why do you have to ruin one of the few non-skank role model/toys that young girls have by turning her into a Miley clone?  I don’t even think Dora’s been around long enough for the majority of her fans to have outgrown her, and even if they have people do this weird thing where they mate and then a baby pops out. For every fan Dora loses to puberty there’s gonna be two more to take their place.

Ugh, what kind of pervert exec comes up with an idea to “sexify” a character aimed at children anyway?