Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Nickelodeon

The Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards got pretty crazy last night

modern family

The Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards aired last night, and as you can see from the photos, things got preeeeetty crazy. Isn’t it funny how simple kids are? All they want to do is laugh at people getting slime dumped all over them. It’s universally hilarious!

Everyone in Hollywood was there – Angelina Jolie and her two kids, Zahara and John; Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise, Nick Jonas, Emma Stone, etc. etc. Angelina won Best Villain for Maleficent, Emma Stone was the Favorite Movie Actress for The Amazing Spider-Man 2 and Selena Gomez was the favorite song. Full list of the winners is available here.

Looked like fun!

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Muy Caliente!

dora

Nickelodeon and Mattel hate your child.

How do I know?

The silhouette above is the new Dora the Explorer. Apparently, the two companies feel that they need Dora to “grow up”  along with her fans instead of say, I don’t know, staying normal and attracting NEW fans. They gave her some big pagent-y hair, what I’m sure are sparkly flats, and what appears to be a dangerously short skirt. You cannot “explore” anything worthwhile in a skirt that short without showin’ what the good lord gave ya.

I don’t even watch Dora (I have no children) and I’m a little miffed about this. Why not give her an older sister or something? Why do you have to ruin one of the few non-skank role model/toys that young girls have by turning her into a Miley clone?  I don’t even think Dora’s been around long enough for the majority of her fans to have outgrown her, and even if they have people do this weird thing where they mate and then a baby pops out. For every fan Dora loses to puberty there’s gonna be two more to take their place.

Ugh, what kind of pervert exec comes up with an idea to “sexify” a character aimed at children anyway?