Remember that time that Octomom had all those financial troubles and she almost lost her house? And then she had to do those creepy photos with that dude in the diaper to get some money? Well, those days are gone, because good ol’ Nadya Suleman just landed herself a role in a horror flick. Score!

Here’s the story from TMZ:

Octomom is starring a low-budget horror film called Millennium. Octo plays a woman named Vanessa, who visits a haunted house with her friend Brad and his date Jessica. But turns out Jessica’s a demon (yes, there’s a plot hole — Octo getting knocked up by a female demon).

According to Octo’s manager, doing this film makes her eligible for SAG health benefits — which means she’ll cut her health care premiums in half.

In all honesty, this actually sounds like a pretty fun deal, doesn’t it? Personally, I would love to get to play around in a cheap scary movie, and if she gets those sweet health benefits, then she should have a lot less to worry about financially. Who knows, maybe she can start to afford all those babies that she hates!

No, I’m kidding. I mean, her stomach does quite resemble Voldemort’s slitted nose, but honestly? Despite the fact that she’s birthed an equivalent to a very small country’s population, girlfriend’s stomach here doesn’t actually look all that bad. I’ve seen women who’ve birthed one – count ‘em one – child, and their stomach … well, God love them, it’ll never be the same to say the least.

It’s also apparent that Octo hasn’t gotten any kind of plastic surgery on her torso, or if she did, she definitely went the budget route.

What do you guys think of the lady’s tummy? Have you seen much, much worse for much, much less, too?

Image courtesy of TMZ

Ready? Say it with me now: euuuurrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

With zero prettying it up, here are the latest Nadya Suleman sex quotes from the illustrious Steppin’ Out magazine:

“I only had one boyfriend my whole life and I never loved him. I only wanted babies.”

“I can tell you that I never touched him [my ex-husband] physically. It was a different type of marriage. That’s all I want to say about it. I’m the kind of person who can be with a man for years and never touch him. My mind is not wired that way. I don’t need that kind of thing. People need sex, but I don’t .. I have zero sexual interest.”

“I’ve never even touched myself in that way. Maybe if I had touched myself things would be different. It’s like a trigger food. I never tried it so I don’t know what I’m missing.”

“I couldn’t even imagine kissing something. I’ll be your friend but it would take at least five years for me to even consider having sex with you.”

Oh dear God in heaven, she lost me when she started talking about masturbation. I mean, it’s all clearly apparent, now, as to why she continually turns down porn offers despite the fact she’s eventually going to lose the roof over her head.

Also? I don’t know why I’m so morbidly fascinated by this woman; I really don’t. I mean, it’s not as if she’s got any talent to base her unwarranted “fame” form, nor does she have a scintillating, sharp personality that compensates for her bizarre plastic surgeries and comments about hating children.

Before she knows it, she’s going to be the frigid old lady who lives in a shoe – ’cause I know I sure wouldn’t touch that shit with a ten-foot pole, how about you? Does this new information make her more appealing, or even less appealing to you?

“I personally cannot waste my energy fixating on the past and my past choices, regardless if they were good or bad choices … Learn to grow as a result of your choices, own and accept the responsibility of your choices and look forward because if you look back, what are you going to do, stab me? You’re just going to stab me forever and grow old.”

I’m sure if I sat and thought long and hard about what Nadya Suleman here was trying to say, I might be able to make some sort of sense out of it enough to agree with one of her words. Like, I don’t know, “grow” or something. Maybe even “choices.” Some of those words need to make sense, and perhaps – just possibly – if ordered in the right way, might give us some kind of indication as to what the hell this woman means.

Or, you know, not. Ever.

Ever since Nadya “Octomom” Suleman made that comment that she hated her zillion babies and then unconvincingly denied it, I’ve been keeping an eye out for this lady. I just knew that laying low for a few months after those weird fetish photos came out simply would not do, and that she was going to have to do something soon to stay in the spotlight. And let me just tell you, I am so glad that I did.

Remember 3rd Rock from the Sun?  Now remember Kristen Johnson, the woman who played Sally? Ok, now picture these two ladies getting into a little fight because Kristen is a reasonable human being and gets a little on edge by listening to eight babies screaming in a tight space. Got it?  Love it? Good.

Here’s the story from TMZ:

Nadya Suleman was flying back from New York City last night and her and the brood took up most of the business class section of the plane. The flight was delayed for more than two hours and Nadya tried to silence the kids — to no avail.

The crying babies annoyed the “3rd Rock from the Sun” star so much, she marched over to Nadya and told her keep it down.

Nadya’s rep tells TMZ Nadya fired back, “How would you like me to keep eight 2-year-olds quiet?” To which Kristen allegedly responded, “Get more help!”

The rep says Nadya shouted back, “Why don’t you grow a baby and get a life!”

Eventually Kristen returned to her seat, but according to Nadya’s rep … Kristen got off the plane and never returned.

And now, thanks to Octomom, I never need to experience that awkward moment when I get into an argument and can’t come up with a good insult.  No, now whenever my roommate calls me the C word or some trashy girl at the mall blatantly hits on my boyfriend, I’ll skip right past the stuttered “suck it” and jump right on ahead to “why don’t you grow a baby and get a life!”

Love you, girl!  Appreciate you!

Remember last week when Nadya “Octomom” Suleman was going on about how her babies “disgust” her and her older children are “monsters” and she sits in the bathroom “for hours” to avoid them? Wasn’t that such a gross interview? Well, it’s all ok now, because according to Octomom, it’s all a lie! Huzzah!

From TMZ:

Quotes from Octomom flew all over the Internet this week — the most damaging being, “I hate babies, they disgust me” — the only problem is … Octomom says SHE NEVER GAVE THEM!!!

Nadya Suleman tells TMZ every single quote that was attributed to her from an interview with In Touch magazine is false … because she never even gave them an interview.

In another passage from the “interview,” Nadya supposedly said she thinks her older children are animals and that she often locks herself in the bathroom and cries.

To that she says, “I hardly have 30 seconds to go to the restroom, I could never lock my self in the bathroom for hours. I Love ALL my children, I do not regret them and it’s ridiculous that I have to continue to defend myself against these disgusting fabricated lies.”

I just love happy endings, don’t you? And, after all, no one can be that bad a parent, right? On a totally related note, did you guys hear that story about the toddler who was left alone in an apartment on the tenth floor and fell out of the window, only to be caught by a lady passing by? Some people.