2LOL, Like, OMG: Gwyneth Paltrow Thinks Miranda Kerr Is “So Pretty, It’s Abnormal”

Gwyneth Paltrow gets lady wood for very few things in this life – organic and macrobiotic beet grass shavings and $875 Egyptian silk sheets being roughly half of them – but it turns out, Miranda Kerr does it for her, too. Why is that, exactly? Could it be that Miranda’s Achilles tendon is more defined than hers? Does her skin lie flatter against her ribcage than Gwyneth’s? This is just weird.

From Entertainment Weekly:

Who was the Iron Man 3 actress’s pick for best dressed? Ask Paltrow who the belle of the ball was, and she’s quick to answer…

Miranda Kerr.

“She was wearing a black Michael Kors dress that was sort of like a sparkling bandeau, and her whole stomach was showing,” says Paltrow, who was also in NYC to promote her new GOOP City Guides app with an appearance today at the Apple Store in SoHo. “It was really beautiful. It was a little punk-y. She’s just so pretty, it’s abnormal.”

Kerr, a former Victoria’s Secret model who is married to actor Orlando Bloom, seemed to take it all in stride, according to Paltrow. “I was like, ‘Is it weird to be that pretty?’” the actress recalls, laughing. “And she was like, ‘No.’”

Obviously as women, we notice other attractive women and there’s nothing wrong with calling attention to that, obviously. It just strikes me as kind of creepy the way she talks about how her “whole stomach was showing” – like it’s something mystical and entrancing or something and she feels like if she could just eat 600 calories per day instead of 700, she too might be able to wear a dress that has her “whole stomach” on display.

I’m maybe thinking about this a little too deeply. Anyway.

May 9, 2013 at 11:30 am by Jennifer

1These Wax Figures Of Aussie Celebrities Are Perfect Nightmare Fuel

Nicole Kidman, Keith Urban, Dannii Minogue, Miranda Kerr, Eric Bana and Lleyton Hewitt have been turned into wax nightmares. Get your “Nicole Kidman already looks wax” jokes ready!

So why did Madame Tussaud’s Sydney they put all of these horrifying wax figures together, outside, along the harbor? It was to celebrate the museum’s 1st birthday. And to give us nightmares. I mean really, I still don’t quite understand this. But here’s more from News.com.au:

MADAME Tussauds Sydney has celebrated its first birthday with the help of an array of A-list wax figures at an exclusive celebration by the Harbour.

Surrounded by the Sydney Harbour Bridge and the Sydney Opera House, figures of Aussie stars including Nicole Kidman, Keith Urban, Dannii Minogue, Miranda Kerr, Eric Bana and Lleyton Hewitt, were all in attendance

Madame Tussauds revealed its most requested figures are pop-sensation boy band One Direction, while Johnny Depp holds the honour of most kissed.

US President Barrack Obama tied with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie as the most photographed figures.

“The Australian public has welcomed the attraction to their shores with open arms and for that we are truly grateful. We have some exciting plans for the year ahead and can only hope that the public will like all the new faces that will grace the exhibition in the coming months,” said Madame Tussauds Sydney spokesperson Kristy Enright.

I don’t think these belong outside. Maybe that’s what’s so weird.

The Emma Watson one wasn’t nearly this scary.

STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT, KEITH URBAN.

April 19, 2013 at 5:30 am by Catherine St. Ives

1Miranda Kerr Car Accident Leaves Her In Neck Brace

Miranda Kerr, Victoria’s Secret Angel, was in a car accident on the freeway on Monday. As a result, she is now in a neck brace. But she is mobile. TMZ posted a photo of her out and about in LA in yesterday.

Details of the crash are still coming in, but The LA Times has some info:

Kerr, 29, was spotted Tuesday wearing the medical collar, which she attempted to conceal with a patterned scarf. A driver reportedly smashed into her car on a L.A. freeway, TMZ reported. Her husband, actor Orlando Bloom, and their 2-year-old son, Flynn, were not with her during the accident, but Kerr was believed to have been riding with her assistant at the time.

“She is in a lot of pain, but really we are just glad it was not more serious,” her representative told Australia’s 9 News. “[Orlando is] taking very good care of her. He’s an amazing husband. Luckily, Flynn wasn’t in the car.”

That’s right, I totally forgot that she’s married to Orlando “Boring Pirate” Bloom.

There are rumors that the driver who hit her was drunk.

This one time I was driving on the 101 and my car suddenly slowed down and then stopped completely and it wouldn’t move. Scariest moment of my life. Thankfully one of those LA Freeway tow trucks spotted me and towed me to safety. I don’t mind spending my tax dollars on those things.

March 14, 2013 at 4:30 am by Catherine St. Ives

5Miranda Kerr Goes Nude Again for Harper’s Bazaar

I know some of us (ahem, me) around here don’t generally think a whole lot of Miranda Kerr, but one thing’s for certain: we do—and I repeat, do—like her nudes. Yup. Miranda’s gone and done the nude thing for this month’s Harper’s Bazaar, and if you really, really think we should include some content along with the nakey pictures, then fiiiine. Here’s part of her interview, but I warn you—it’s definitely the more self-righteous, obnoxious parts, and I hope they counter this woman’s glorious body nicely.

Here’s Miranda on her healthy and pure and all-natural lifestyle:

“I live by the philosophy that beauty starts from within and I make a conscious effort to fill my body with nutrients through the food I eat. Becoming a mother has made me even more aware and more passionate about nutrition and wellness. So much so that I am now a certified health coach practitioner. I love when we are all together as a family and I can cook really healthy, delicious meals for them. Most of my childhood was spent outdoors climbing trees, swimming in the river, riding dirt bikes and horses and I would like Flynn to experience all of those things.”

On working out:

“Yoga is at the core of my health and wellness routine, even if it’s only for 10 to 15 minutes I find it helps me to re-center and to focus as well as improve my overall core strength. Then I’ll do a few extra squats for my butt and thighs.”

On her own, personal definition of ‘spirituality’:

“I find the practice of yoga very spiritual and taking the time to just be and to reflect through meditation and chanting helps me to connect to a higher energy. I also discovered a spiritual strength in affirmations when I was very young which was the inspiration for my book Treasure Yourself.”

OK, so I guess she doesn’t sound *all bad*, right? I mean, with the obvious exception of shilling herself through plugging her book, ‘Treasure Yourself’, and shilling herself through promotion of the fact that she’s now a “Certified Health Coach Practitioner,” she’s not as awful as we all thought. I mean, the book’s probably just filled with bad poems and the “Certified Health Coach Practitioner” thing? Well. That’s probably like that thing where you can be ordained online as a minister for $19.95 for the year or whatever. Let’s give the girl a little pity, shall we? I mean, she’s trying.

August 9, 2012 at 2:30 pm by Sarah

4Miranda Kerr Wants You to See Her All-Natural Boobs

Our friends over at Yeeeah found these pictures, and while we’re both in agreement that these photos may or may not be old photos, we’ve both elected to run them for the sheer enjoyment of seeing Miranda Kerr, who, like it or not, has an absolutely perfect body and who should be admired for that, if for nothing else (like her all-natural way of living and breathing and eating and fornicating and birthing and modeling and … shall I go on?).

Anyway. The photos are after the jump, and I’m warning you that they’re extremely NSFW in the way that you see Miranda Kerr from practically every angle save for a full-on vadge shot. Check ‘em out. And I don’t want to hear any bitching about them older than her son or anything, because who’s going to turn down free boobs? Plus, they’re new to our site. Alright?

(more…)

August 2, 2012 at 10:30 am by Sarah

10Is Orlando Bloom Single Again?

From Celebrity Fix:

Both Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom have been spotted without their wedding rings, sparking rumours their marriage is in trouble.

29-year-old Miranda was snapped without hers in New York last week, and a friend of the couple told Famous magazine that their relationship could be on the rocks.

“[Miranda and Orlando's marriage] might be in trouble,” they said.

“She’s not wearing her ring, and she’s had a lot on her plate — it could be that somewhere along the way her relationship with Orlando may have slipped between the cracks,” said the friend.

But Miranda’s new rep, Annie Kelly, has denied the claims. “There is absolutely no truth in the headline or story,” she said.

First, these days, I don’t even know why these celebrities’ reps decide to issue statements. It’s like, you either are or you aren’t splitting up, but one thing is for certain—reps lie. They constantly tell tall tales for the sake of damage control and kids, and they’re absolutely, indubitably not to be trusted.

Second? This wouldn’t surprise me at all. When Orlando started dating Miranda after his long-term relationship with the relatively-down-to-earth Kate Bosworth, I was kind of surprised. Miranda was, of course, a Victoria’s Secret model with enough glamorous pamper-my-ass baggage to sink a ship, and I didn’t think Orlando really got down with high-maintenance chicks like that (but what the hell do I know). Yeah, they built a sweet little family, but Miranda‘s always running her pretentious little mouth as to how people should live, and honestly, is starting to come across a little bit like our favorite good-living guru, Gwyneth Paltrow.

I’m hearing lately that she’s always talking about “natural” childbirth, “natural” living, “natural” gardening, “natural” everything, and while there’s nothing wrong with that whatsoever, it’s all in the way you’re perceived, and word on the street is that Miranda can be a condescending, judgey little bitch who acts all entitled to everything wonderful and pure and clean and non-pedestrian.

I wonder what’s up with all of this, huh?

July 23, 2012 at 12:30 pm by Sarah