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Michael Cera

Love It or Leave It: Michael Cera’s Creepy in the Don’t-Take-Candy-From-This-Guy Pedophile Kind of Way

photo of michael cera pictures photos pics mustache pic
No, I guess it isn’t very nice to tell someone that they look like a pedophile, because first, anyone can look like a pedophile and we wouldn’t even know it because there are probably some attractive and not-at-all creepy-looking pedophiles running around out there. Second, it’s in bad taste to assume that anyone sporting an unflattering mustache could look like a stereotypical pedophile. I mean, it’s not like I’m using this photo as an example to go by in comparison or anything:

photo of jeffrey jones pictures pedophile photos jail pic
That guy right up there is Jeffrey Jones, who you might recognize as the principal from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off or as the dad from Beetlejuice. He’s kind of a pedophile (if anyone can “kind of” be a pedophile), in that he made an underage Asian boy pose for sexually explicit photos. I suppose that’s a pedophile, yes?

So would it be wrong to say that poor little Michael Cera here looks like a pedo? Well, no, not necessarily. He does, indeed, resemble Jeffrey Jones, what with his creepy ‘stache and all, and Jeffrey Jones is a pedophile of sorts, so I guess it’s not an entirely horrible correlation to make, just based on looks. Aside from the fact, that, you know, the adorable little Michael Cera is NOT a pedophile. That part’s just bang out of line.

Boyfriend there just needs to shave the hell out of that mustache and lose the creepy fisherman’s hat. I Know What You Did Last Summer, anyone? I mean, even my four-year-old was freaked out. She said, “Mama, is that a boy or a girl?” and I said, “It’s a boy, honey,” and left it at that. I continued working and editing the photo, and after a few minutes of silence, she poked my shoulder and leaned in close to my ear: “That’s a pretty scary boy.”

Ah, from the mouths of children.

All-New ‘Arrested Development’ Episodes Coming to Netflix!

Image: Arrested Development via Peanuts, by Bill Mudron!

Here’s some news that is sure to thrill 10% of you!

“Netflix is gassing up the staircar!” Jason Bateman tweeted yesterday (see image of staircar, above), adding, “I don’t think I’ve ever been happier to wear a pair of khakis.”

YOU READ RIGHT! A new season of Arrested Development (get with it! Emily mentioned this last month) is coming to your laptops, Xboxes, and iPads, not to mention your Wiis, Boxees, PS3s, and what-the-heck-ever else, thanks to a new deal with Netflix.

Arrested Development was canceled in 2006; since then, Netflix has been experimenting with original streaming content. And now Netflix has been charged with Arrested Development‘s very resurrection! It’s great news for everybody!

Depending on your television-watching proclivities this is very exciting news—and if you aren’t excited, what is the matter with you?—but nonetheless, try to hold onto your butts. According to some sources, the show won’t “air” until 2013. Blah. But oh, well! Masterpieces take time.

(Image via Bill Mudron. I think I am obligated to also tell you that you can currently buy this print for five damn American dollars. Love you, Bill!)

Another Season of Arrested Development?

If you’re a fan of Arrested Development, your heart has probably grown weary of repeated promises of a movie. You probably dejectedly watch reruns and cry over the distinct lack of such comedic gold nowadays. It’s ok, I understand. But, if you haven’t heard, there was a remarkable event that took place today at the New Yorker Festival: A Bluth Family Reunion, including the likes of Will Arnett, Jason Bateman, Michael Cera, David Cross, Portia de Rossi, Tony Hale, Alia Shawkat, Jeffrey Tambor, and Jessica Walter, so basically everybody. Another important guest was Mitch Hurwitz, the creator of the show, and, according to an audience member, he had some important words to say:

So I’m not going to get my hopes up, but … I’m kind of getting my hopes up. Anybody else?

Guess Who’s Going to Buy An Issue of Playboy?

The correct answer is me. I am going to buy an issue of Playboy.

Michael Cera, also known as the most adorable boy in the world, answered a few questions in the August issue of the magazine, and they’ve posted a few excerpts on their website. Here are a few of my favorites:

On hanging out with the cast of Jersey Shore: “Actually, it was one of the most pleasant days I’ve had in a long time. We got drunk and laughed and danced and got in a hot tub and ate pizza. It was sort of like my eighth birthday party.”

On the worst pickup line he’s ever had the courage to say: “Hey, lady, those are some sexy-ass extensions. I guess you won’t mind if I extend to you a personal invitation to party with me one-on-one in a scary motel room.”

His joking response to Judd Apatow and Jonah Hill joking that he’s “irritating” and “a fucking ass”: “The truth of the matter is I’m too classy to ever come out and speak any truth about those reprobates, and they’re both classless enough to knock on me and my problems. Between you and me—and I’ll thank you not to print this—those two used to come in to work and quite literally spit in the face of crew members. I once saw Jonah pinch the prop master. They’d pour salad dressing in the coffee and sometimes even grab people and kiss them hard on the mouth. To me this sort of behavior in a working environment is deplorable. Then I participate maybe once in a game of throwing shoes at the on-set medic, and all of a sudden I’m painted as the villain of the whole production. That’s the brilliance of Jonah and Judd.”

On whether he considers poking the Pillsbury Doughboy as a child his big acting break: “Well, in a way it was. Kids around school started asking if I had been in a commercial. They all seemed baffled by it. I enjoyed the recognition until the older kids started poking me in the stomach. Hard. With their fists.”

Honestly, how could you not love him?

And by the way, I probably won’t be buying the issue.  A couple of years ago, Seth Rogen was on the cover of Playgirl, and I saw it at a gas station when I was picking up some Boone’s Farm.  I’d never bought a porno mag, so I was like “how much is that Playgirl?”  The cashier judged me for a while before he told me it was fifteen dollars.  And fuck a whole bunch of that, I’ll just watch Superbad and free porn online, this is the 21st century.

One of The Cosby Kids Landed in NYC This Morning

Michael Cera at JFK

Maybe we’ve spoiled him all these years by encouraging him to be a quirky dork, but the clothes Michael Cera rolled out of JFK wearing this morning are beyond all that. Homeboy’s looking like one of the characters from Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids with that sloppy knit hat and mismatched brightly colored pants and shirt. Sure, sure, it’s important to be comfortable in-flight but my lord, boy! You’re rich! Pay someone to tell you when you look like a fool or something.

Is Michael Cera the New Breed of Heartthrob?

You know him as the awkward teen in Juno, as the awkward teen in Superbad, and as — what else? — the awkward teen on Arrested Development.

But Michael Cera’s developed one heck of a fanbase on both sides of the gender spectrum, and is now preparing to make his leading-man debut in the much-buzzed-about Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist, opposite hottie Kat Denning. The film hits theaters on Friday.

He’s not classically attractive. He’s too thin; he’s not muscular. His hairstyle is childish. His features are camped somewhere in the no man’s land between attractive and unattractive. And yet young women are falling in love with him, just like they’ve fallen in love recently with equally non-traditional leading men like Seth Rogen and Jason Segel.

The up-and-coming generation of male starlets seems to be lacking a Justin Timberlake, or a Brad Pitt or a George Clooney — a classically beautiful and traditionally masculine leading man. (I am refusing to consider Zac Efron “traditionally masculine.”) Instead, young women are flocking to the more — dare I say it? — attainable leading men. These are men who might be in the halls of your own high school or college, whose unremarkable looks belie a man of substance, kindness, charm and wit oft overlooked by the cheerleaders and supermodels of the world.

Why the change? Will it last? Is it a good thing?

Would you like to take Michael Cera into your bedroom and rip his clothes off? If so, why?

I’m interested to hear your thoughts.