Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Memorial Day Weekend

Bang or Bust: Couples Edition

photo of megan fox and brian austin green playing in the ocean during memorial day weekend

So I guess Megan Fox’s hotness has been photoshopped away in this photo. Which, clearly isn’t possible, since the photos don’t looked touched a bit, so that brings me to wonder if all of her other glam shots and pin-up photos have been. And I’m thinking, “yes.” While she’s still got a bangin’ face, her body’s just … not so hot. She’s, you know, cute-bodied and all, but nothing to write home about, frankly. I live at the beach; I see bodies like hers come and go on the daily and don’t bat an eye. Nothing phenom there, for real.

Megan and her henchman, Brian Austin Green, were photographed this past weekend observing Memorial Day in Maui.

I was a huge, huge fan of the original Beverly Hills 90210 back in the day and I will freely admit that Brian Austin Green was totally my nineties crush. I had posters of him up on the walls and watched the show religiously. While my other friends mooned over Brandon and Dylan and Steve, I was the odd-man out. I’ve always been the odd-man out; Isaac Hanson was my favorite Hanson and Adrien Brody is my “hottest male celebrity” ever. So, again, not surprising that I’d go for Green rather than Fox on this one. Cop-out.

So. Your sexual orientation aside, which bad thespian would you bang — the one with the nice face and not-so-amazing body or the one with the nice body and the not-so-amazing face? You can draw your own conclusions as to who’s who on that one.