Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Melissa Joan Hart

Melissa Joan Hart Takes Back What She Said About Farrah, But I Do Not Take Back What I Said About Melissa Joan Hart


Melissa Joan Hart, thrilled to just be in the headlines for any reason, has written a MySpace apology to Farrah Fawcett, expressing regret for saying she hoped the Charlie’s Angels star didn’t die the week prior to Hart’s bikini People cover:

It has come to my attention that something I said has been completely misconstrued in the press. I was merely explaining what I had read about how the cover of People magazine was chosen from an article last week I read in the Times. I truly hope that Farrah and her family know I wish them the best at this time in her life. And that I would never be so selfish to disrespect anyone, let alone someone I admire greatly.

Then, to further explain her bad behavior, she wrote another blog about — what else?  her own problems:

Last week was an intense one for me in many regards. Not only for all the reasons that have been publicized for you like the magazine cover and the opening of our new shop. But mainly because my mother was admitted into the hospital and underwent an intense 8 hour surgery on a brain tumor. All of my 6 siblings and I gathered at my house and the hospital for the entire week to be strong for each other. She is out of the woods and on her way to recovery, luckily she is a good healer and has 7 children to lend a hand in times like these. Prayer is a big part of my life and it was very crucial last week for my mommy. I ask that you keep her in your thoughts and prayers as she fights her way to a full and wonderful recovery. I love you Mommy!!!

Mrs. Hart, I certainly hope you are feeling better.  No matter what you do, please don’t die this week because your daughter is doing press for her new candy store and your funeral would cause a real scheduling nightmare.

I Take Back My Apology


You know what?  I tried being nice to Melissa Joan Hart, but it’s just not working for me.  Yeah, she lost a bunch of weight and yeah, she opened up a candy store but she’s not a nice person.  I think, on some level, I knew that.  Therefore, I’m back to using the most unflattering pictures of her that I can find.

New York Post is reporting that Hart was telling people at KTLA in Los Angeles that she’d been hoping Farrah Fawcett wouldn’t die last week because then she’d be bumped off the cover of People. 

A couple of things here:  Melissa Joan Hart should be grateful that People even wrote an article about her.  As a matter of fact, MJH should be grateful that she’s even permitted to live in the Hollywood area.  Secondly, Melissa had nothing to worry about it.  People makes it a practice to leave irrelevant bottle-blonds on the cover, even when television legends die.

Because She Wasn’t Annoying Enough Already, Melissa Joan Hart Opens a Candy Store

Melissa Joan Hart Opens SweetHarts

One week after Melissa Joan Hart appeared on the cover of People magazine to show off her new slimmer body, she slaps every other dieting mother in America right in the face by opening a new candy store, named SweetHarts, in Sherman Oaks, California.

The store’s website reveals that the menu will include frozen yogurt, gelato, baked goods, candy, and a whole host of other items guaranteed to derail a diet. It also reveals that Melissa’s mother originally considered naming her “Sweet.” That’s right. Her name was almost Sweet Hart.

If that right there doesn’t make you want to smack the annoying right out of the little witch, the Sabrina star claims to “love all the different [kinds of] candy” because they remind her of her childhood, but then goes on to say that she isn’t worried about regaining any of her recently lost weight by consuming any of the products from her own shop because she doesn’t really like sweets.

Do they offer something called a candy coated bitch slap? Cuz I’d buy one of those.

I haven’t read the People magazine article about her weightloss because there are only so many worthless, time wasting activities I can do in a week without starting to feel really bad about my life. But the cover quotes her as saying “I realized I don’t have to be heavy just because I have kids.”

Bitch please. You “don’t have to be heavy” because you’re rich and can hire a personal trainer, someone to cook meals for you, and someone to watch those kids for you while you work out or open your new candy store.

Next week, Paris Hilton will announce the grand opening of her financial planning service, the appropriately named “I Don’t Have Any Debt Because I’m Fucking Rich.” The service’s financial advisors will offer you high interest rate mortgages and credit cards, encourage you to spend well beyond your budget, then act superior and self-righteous when you can’t make your monthly payments.

Melissa Joan Hart Forces Me To Apologize


Wow.  I wasn’t very nice to Melissa Joan Hart, better known as everyone’s favorite teenage witch, but boy did she show me.  Sorry, Melissa.

Hart is on this week’s cover of People showing off her 42 pound weight loss .  And the best part?  She doesn’t look like she did heroin to get thin.  She looks healthy and, dare I say, not Photoshopped? 

Tori Spelling, are you paying attention?

Look Who’s Helping!


Melissa Joan Hart volunteers at the Los Angeles Mission on Christmas Eve.

Other celebs who helped out at the mission include Alyssa Milano, Corbin Bleu and Melissa Gilbert.

Sabrina Bench Presses Sons And Starves Self In Name Of Hotness

God is so good to me.  Yesterday I was flipping through the pap sites and came across this picture of Melissa Joan Hart.  I wanted to share the pic but she’s not too relevant right now.  Has she appeared in anything recently?  At this point, the only time she hears “cut” is during her latest episiotomy.  I’m not sure people even remember who she is.  Soooo imagine my pure joy when I saw a People article this morning about the wayward witch.  The good news is MJH was more than happy to share the secrets of her super hawt post-pregnancy bod. 

It’s a constant workout,” the ex-Sabrina, the Teenage Witchstar tells PEOPLE of taking care of her sons Mason, 3, and Braydon, 8 months.

That’s why she’s been able to stay post-pregnancy fit, she says.

You don’t have time to eat because you’re chasing them all the time!” she said Friday at the Jonas Brothers launch of 77 Kids by American Eagle in Los Angeles. “You kind of lift them in the car seat, out of the car seat, in the highchair, out of the highchair.

I cannot believe how blind I’ve been.  I’ve got three kids and it never struck me to lift them.  I’m pumping toddlers immediately so I can look as good as M.  Ugh…that sounded so wrong.

Picture above is MJH Friday night at The Roxy in West Hollywood and gallery pic is from yesterday at Kitson’s Petit Bijou Launch in LA.