Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Mariah Carey

Mariah Carey Got The Most Serious Massage

A photo of Mariah Carey

I know what you’re thinking. You’re wondering why I’m seriously dedicating a whole post to some massage that Mariah Carey got, and I understand that. It does seem like a particularly boring subject, but guys. You have to trust me on this one. Because this story is awesome.

From Us Weekly:

The American Idol diva arranged an eight-hour rub-down while she got shut-eye at her L.A. mansion September 29.

“The masseuse made $1,500,” a source tells Us Weekly. On top of that, Carey had a seriously kooky request.

“She insisted [Sacha Baron Cohen's] Bruno play on repeat,” the insider adds. “It looped the entire time!”

This is what rich people do. They get massages for eight hours while watching Bruno over and over and napping. I’m having trouble even comprehending that. I thought about getting a massage one time, but then I figured I’d probably just pay my water bill or whatever. Or go shopping. Because no joke, I think I’m developing a moderate addiction to shopping. The other day I was out and I just bought two pairs of jeans on a whim, and when I got home I was like “I don’t even like these,” so I took them back and got different clothes. And then last week I got some whey protein because I’ve been getting into fitness and all, and I made a drink and it was so gross and I felt sick, so I asked my boyfriend if it had any sort of dairy in it (I’m lactose intolerant), and he just looked at me and I was like “oh, right.”

Did I just get incredibly off topic? It’s because Mariah Carey’s massage just completely blew my mind.

Nick Cannon Doesn’t Care About Mariah Carey

A photo of Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon

Can you imagine such a horrible thing, not caring for your own wife’s safety? Well, you don’t have to imagine it, because it’s real, and it’s happening right now in the beautiful union of Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey. Nick, if you can believe it, has said that he “wasn’t concerned” about the very real death threats that Nicki Minaj made to Mariah. Mariah, who was scared enough to talk to Barbara Walters about how she had to hire more security. What’s up, Nick?

From E! Online:

“I wasn’t concerned,” Cannon told E! News. “That’s exactly what you called it was drama. With drama, it’s theatrics. I’m not worried about that stuff.”

When asked if there was a gun threat involved in the recorded spat, Cannon went on to say with a laugh, “I don’t know. I wasn’t there. It made for good news. It sounded good, right? Good job Fox.”

Yeah, ha ha, Nick. You’ll think it’s funny when Nicki Minaj is crawling through your bedroom window. Maybe you’ll manage to muster up some concern then.

Mariah Carey Ratted on Nicki Minaj to Barbara Walters

photo of nicki minaj and mariah carey pictures
Did any of you guys watch The View today? Because while I normally don’t, I happened to catch part of it, and it was probably the most relevant part of The View that’s ever aired for me.

On The View, Barbara Walters revealed that Mariah Carey confirmed—to her—that Nicki Minaj threatened her life on the ‘American Idol’ set, saying, “If I had a gun I would shoot the bitch,” meaning Nicki would shoot Mariah, had she a firearm on her person. I mean, there’s really no other way to take that, right? I’m not off by a few meanings because of some hip, new Young Money slang that actually happens to mean “I love this woman and I’d take a bullet for her,” right? OK. Moving on. So because of Nicki’s “death threat,” Mariah told Barbara that she went and amped up her security team, but says she feels that Nicki loves her anyway. WTF, right? I know. I don’t get it, either.

When Nicki heard the news earlier today, she fired off the following Tweets:

I don’t call tmz n Barbara Walters cuz I stand on my own two feet. Never needed an army. God is good. Insecurity is as cruel as the grave

I guess it hurts 2 have the producers tell u to ur face that nicki is the best judge we’ve had since simon. Awww, poor u. Keep them lies cmn.

I’m really feeling the “love” here, too, guys, aren’t you?

Nicki Minaj Threatened to Shoot Mariah Carey

In case you missed it yesterday, there’s the video of Nicki Minaj yelling at Mariah Carey during auditions for American Idol. Which, by the way, we’re now hearing that the whole thing started because Mariah wouldn’t stop “bringing up how many records she’s sold, name dropping people she’s worked with, how many tours she’s done, and how many Grammys or awards she’s won,” and she kept calling Nicki a bitch. This is going to be excellent television, isn’t it?

But yeah, now we’re also hearing that during Nicki’s rant, she said “if I had a gun I would shoot her.” And apparently, if you listen closely to the video, you can hear Nicki say “off with your head!” People from Idol are saying that Nicki never said that thing about the gun though, and that that rumor started because “Mariah’s people are stirring the pot.” Love it, love it, love it.

Lastly, Nicki feels like the producers are trying to use Mariah to get her riled up so that she’ll have awesome outbursts (see above) and bring in more viewers, which I’m not sure is the case. I think Mariah is just that much of a diva, and the outbursts are just a bonus. But Nicki has reportedly said that if she ever feels like the producers are trying to set her up for another outburst, she’ll walk off the set.

Finally, you guys. Finally we have a reason to watch American Idol again.

Here’s A Video of Nicki Minaj Yelling at Mariah Carey

Yeah, so I guess this little video just confirms those stories that we heard about Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey being too much diva for one judges table. You know, as if anyone actually doubted those stories.

And just in case you’re having trouble understanding Nicki’s screeching, here’s a transcript:

Nicki Get this shit in self control.  Get in control.  Get in control.
Randy Settle down, settle down
Nicki Don’t lose your head.  Don’t lose your head (inaudible).  Don’t tell me I’m a gangster.
Nicki (inaudible) every 5 minutes.  So every time you patronize me, I’m-ma take it back, and if you’ve got a f-cking problem, handle it.
Nicki I told them I’m not f-ckin’ putting up with her f-cking highness over there.  Figure it the f-ck out.  Figure it out.
Nicki I’m not gonna sit here every f-cking minute to have you come down and harass me every minute everyday.

And this didn’t make it onto the tape, but at one point, Nicki told Mariah “I’m gonna knock you out.” Nothin’ but class here!

You know, I’m sure Mariah did say something bitchy to Nicki, but still, I just don’t see a reason to ever talk to anyone like this. Maybe it’s because I deal with every emotion ever by crying, but I just don’t get all this yelling and screaming and threatening. Like, for instance, this morning my boyfriend and I went to get some breakfast, and this guy behind us almost hit our car, and then he almost hit us in the parking lot, all because he was driving like an asshole. And then he got out of his car and yelled “f-ck you, bitch!” at my boyfriend, because, you know, that’s the reasonable thing to do. Oh, then he threatened to “bust open” my boyfriend’s head. Why do people do that? Why is that ever a thing that needs to happen?

So basically, I’m pretty pumped for this new season of American Idol. If this was Twitter, I’d say “#addicted2thedramz” right now, but since it’s not, I’ll just leave it at that.

Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey Are Already Throwing Down

photo of american idol new judges pictures photos
From TMZ:

Mariah Carey wasted no time proving what we told you 2 weeks ago — there’s only room for one diva on “American Idol.”

Carey and Nicki Minaj went at it during the first “A.I.” taping Sunday in NYC. When Nicki started critiquing a contestant, Mariah would interrupt — not once, but many times. Each time Mariah interrupted, Nicki fought back by loudly talking over Mariah.

One “A.I.” spy said Mariah and Nicki tried to cover their disdain for each other but everyone saw through it, adding, “These girls just don’t like each other.”

You may recall, we reported when producers called Mariah to tell her that Nicki would probably be joining her as a judge, she hung up the phone.

Well if I can’t get a big fat “duh” slapped right over Mariah‘s smug little diva face—and over Nicki‘s stupid, trout-pout bug-eyed leer, because seriously. Who in their right minds would seriously think this would be a good idea for the contestants of the show? No one’s going to be paying attention to the talent this year; it’s all going to be about Mariah and Nicki’s never-ending bitchfests about one another on and off-camera.

I’ve said it before and I’m going to say it again—no amount of psychotic estrogen can bring American Idol back from the dead. The producers should be ashamed of themselves.

It’s Time to Pretend Like We Care About American Idol Again

A photo of Nicki Minaj

After a big mess of speculation and lies and false hope (Kanye was never even in the running, was he, you cruel dream-crushers?), the good (?) people over at American Idol have finally finalized the judges panel for the upcoming twelfth season. Are you excited? Well, try, all right?

First is dear Mariah Carey, whose spot was officially announced months ago. This one shouldn’t be a surprise, because what else does Mariah have to do these days, besides tend to dem babies? Her presence should be fun though. I think she’ll be interesting to watch.

Second is Old Faithful, Randy Jackson. He’s been there since the beginning, and he’ll be there till the end. At one point, producers wanted Enrique Iglesias instead, but in the end, they went with Randy. Which is great, because I honestly have no idea what else Randy Jackson does.

Third, and here is where it starts to get interesting, is Nicki Minaj. This decision is definitely my favorite, because Nicki is a crazy bitch, and I think it will be really funny/embarrassing to see her try to make everything all about her. Can’t you just see her going into one of her alternate personalities while some really talented kid is experiencing her one shot at fame? Ugh. Also, you know the diva antics between her and Mariah will be insane. Yeah, I’m kind of looking forward to this one.

Oh, and the fourth judge is Keith Urban. You know, because … I don’t know. Because country music. Whatever.

Are you psyched or what?