6Celebrities Have Feelings About The Election

I know, so does almost every American. Personally, if I see one more sign around town that says “Vote for Coal,” I’m going to lose my mind, because I’m pretty sure that coal isn’t even running this year. But we’re all about those wacky celebrities over here, so why don’t we check in on what they think about all these shenanigans?

First of all, did you know that good ol’ Mitt has been using a motto from Friday Night Lights? I didn’t, because why would I even watch that show ever, but it’s true. Mitt’s been saying “Clear eyes, full heart, can’t lose,” which is pretty much bullshit coming from him anyway, and he’s even been selling bracelets with the slogan on it. But you know who said it first? The kids on Friday Night Lights. A show about high school football.

One of the actresses on the show, Connie Britton, and executive producer Sarah Aubrey came together to write a piece for USA Today about Mitt’s silly choice, and here’s some of what they had to say:

“The show wasn’t just about football. And ‘Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can’t Lose’ wasn’t just about winning games. Rather, it was a rallying cry of hope and optimism in a community where everyone had a fair shot—no matter their background, no matter their parents, no matter their gender. And no matter their politics.

“Dillon is a classic American town filled with hard-working, middle-class Americans, who just want to lead productive, healthy lives. In fact, it is President Obama who has shown his values to be more closely aligned with those represented by the phrase.”

And then Madonna got booed at a recent concert when she said this:

“Who’s registered to vote? I don’t care who you vote for as long as you vote for Obama.”

After she got booed, she tried to fix it by saying “Seriously, I don’t care who you vote for. Do not take this privilege for granted. Go vote.” But hey, would you have guessed enough Republicans to generate audible boos would be at a Madonna concert?

Finally, Joss Whedon, creator of Buffy, Firefly, and all things good in this world, released his own video with a shocking endorsement of Romney:

If there was any confusion about anything, I hope that video cleared it up for you. Now listen to Madonna and go vote, fellow Americans!

October 29, 2012 at 3:30 pm by Emily

6Is Sean Penn Swooning Over Madonna’s Muscley Arms Again?

From Us Weekly:

It seems Sean Penn is still “Hung Up” on ex-wife Madonna. Standing front-row at her Oct. 11 MDNA show in Los Angeles, the single actor, 52, couldn’t take his eyes off the iconic star, to whom he was married from 1985 to 1989.

“Their chemistry was off the charts,” a fellow concert-goer raved in the Oct. 29 issue of Us Weekly. “Madonna seemed to be performing entirely for Sean. And he was saying things like ‘Amazing!’ and ‘She’s so hot!’”

The pair, whose constant fighting throughout their brief marriage earned them the nickname “the Poison Penns,” met on the set of the music video for the singer’s hit “Material Girl” in 1985 and wed just months later. In 1986, the pop star released her third album, True Blue, which was inspired by and dedicated to her new husband, “the coolest guy in the universe.”

The relationship was far from perfect, though, marred by hot-blooded outbursts and arguments. In 1989, they called it quits and divorced. Penn went on to marry actress Robin Wright, and Madonna wed director Guy Ritchie — but the former loves never could let go of each other completely. In January 2010, they broke bread over a three-hour dinner at Adour Alain Ducasse, sparking rumors of a reconciliation.

“They’ve remained close friends,” a pal told Us. “But they are fire and fire together romantically. She can only be with someone she can control.”

That’s certainly not Penn. And in any case, Madonna already has a boyfriend: Brahim Zaibat, 26, whom she has been dating for the last two years.

“Madonna’s friends wish she’d get back with Sean,” the source said. “He will always be the love of her life.”

Ick. Something about picturing Madonna and Sean Penn together, now, completely grosses me the f-ck out. Like, entirely. And what’s worse is that it’s probably the Madonna part of the Madonna-Sean Penn thing that makes it all the much worse than what it was when it was the Sean Penn-Scarlett Johansson thing.

October 26, 2012 at 2:30 pm by Sarah

0Madonna Slams Lady Gaga Again, Because Of Course She Does

It’s just what she does, guys, and when you couple that with her fairground stripper antics, you’ve got one hell of a show, you know?

Here’s the latest barb that Madonna threw at Lady Gaga, and then had the nerve to say that she and Lady Gaga would be on stage together soon:

Friends, frenemies or still enemies?

Madonna has recently been trying to put an end to her ongoing feuds with Elton John and Lady Gaga.

Last month, the 54-year-old MDNA singer dedicated her song “Masterpiece” to John, 65, during a concert in Nice, France. She said she “forgives him” for calling her a “fairground stripper” and saying her career is over. At her concert in Atlantic City on Saturday, Madonna dedicated the same song to Gaga, 26, and said she’d like to collaborate with her.

“You wanna know something? I love her,” she told the crowd. “I love her. I do love her. Imitation is the highest form of flattery.”

“One day, very soon, we’re going to be on stage together. Just you wait,” she added. “You think I’m kidding? I love Lady Gaga.”

During an interview with Newsweek in January 2012, Madonna slammed Gaga’s single “Born This Way” for its similarities to her 1989 song “Express Yourself.” “I thought, this is a wonderful way to redo my song,” she told the mag. “I mean, I recognized the chord changes. I thought it was . . . interesting.”

In April 2012, NME asked Gaga if she noticed her song was a knockoff of Madonna’s hit. “What a completely ridiculous thing to even question me about . . . If you put the songs next to each other, side by side, the only similarities are the chord progression,” Gaga argued. “It’s the same one that’s been in disco music for the last 50 years. Just because I’m the first f—ing artist in 25 years to think of putting it on Top 40 radio, it doesn’t mean I’m a plagiarist, it means that I’m f—ing smart. Sorry.”

So, I know that Lady Gaga probably likes money. I mean, when you become accustomed to a certain lifestyle, your finances kind of depend on your livelihood, right? But I don’t think even Lady Gaga loves money that much that she’d do a sell-out concert, sharing the stage with her arch-nemesis. No, I just couldn’t see it happening. Celebrity Death Match? Maybe. But no way in hell would Lady Gaga allow Madonna to zing her for three hours straight—right before her very eyes.

September 19, 2012 at 4:30 pm by Sarah

3Madonna Wrote A Poem About Her Awesome Show

Madonna‘s MDNA tour has been thoroughly discussed quite a few times in these parts. We’ve talked about her apparent endorsement of dangerous drugs, about her nipple, and her ass. We’ve talked about her support of gay rights and her use of guns. Yes, for better or for worse (even though at this point it’s pretty much always for worse), Madonna still knows how to get people talking about Madonna. But this time, just for this one brief, shining moment, Madonna is talking about Madonna. In verse!

It’s a little long, but I’ll go ahead and give you the first bit:

My show
Is a journey.
The journey of a soul from darkness to light
It is part cinematic musical theatre.
Part spectacle and sometimes intimate Performance art.

But above all its a journey
From darkness to light
From anger to love
from chaos to order.

But please, Madonna, tell us more!

(more…)

August 30, 2012 at 4:30 pm by Emily

4Quotables: Madonna is Capable of Forgiveness

“I’d like to dedicate this next song to Mr. Elton John. I know he’s a big fan of it [Madonna's song 'Masterpiece']. And I know he’s a big fan of mine. And you know? I forgive him. Gotta start somewhere.”

Oh, so let me guess: she’s going to continue by “forgiving” Lady Gaga next, for trying to steal her career and pilfer her music, right? No doubt, dude. No doubt.

See, the funny thing is, Madonna dedicating this particular song to Elton John was more of a slap in the face than anything, because it was the song that beat his ‘Hello Hello’ at this past year’s Golden Globes. So much for that ‘forgiveness’ vibe that Madonna’s trying to pass off as her own, huh? And what exactly, pray tell, is Madonna ‘forgiving’ Elton John for, anyway? For saying that she’s a common, granny fairground stripper? Because, I don’t know … Telling the truth, last I checked, wasn’t exactly something that warranted an apology, which obviously necessitates Madonna’s said ‘forgiveness’, right?

Go back to supporting gay rights, Madonna. It’s the only right thing that you’ve done in the last decade, anyhow. Stick with what you’re good at—because honestly, music just isn’t it anymore, and neither is it coming up with snarky comebacks to epic slams.

August 24, 2012 at 9:30 am by Sarah

0Madonna Is Getting Sued for Supporting Gay Rights

Because that’s actually a thing that can happen, getting sued for supporting gay rights. Specifically, it’s illegal to “promote homosexuality to minors” in Russia, which is wear this lawsuit against Madonna was filed. And that’s why Madonna got in trouble for daring to hand out pink armbands at a concert in St. Petersburg and then later asking her audience to raise their hands in support of the gay community. Because there were children there. And she didn’t think of the children.

From CBS News:

Madonna continues to spark all sorts of controversy in Russia. Some Russian activists have sued the pop star for millions of dollars, claiming they were offended by her support for gay rights during a recent concert in St. Petersburg.Anti-gay sentiment is strong in Russia. In St. Petersburg, a law passed in February makes it illegal to promote homosexuality to minors, and the author of that law has pointed to the presence of children as young as 12 at Madonna’s concert on Aug. 9.

Russian news agencies quote Alexander Pochuyev, a lawyer representing the nine activists, as saying the suit was filed Friday against Madonna, the organizer of her concert, and the hall where it was held, asking for damages totaling 333 million rubles, or nearly $10.5 million.

Responding to criticism that the plaintiffs were stuck in the Middle Ages, the lawyer said they were using civilized, modern methods to defend their rights. “No one is burning anyone at the stake or carrying out an Inquisition,” Pochuyev was quoted by RIA Novosti as saying. “Modern civilization requires tolerance and respect for different values.”

The complaint includes a video taken at the concert showing Madonna stomping on an Orthodox cross and asking fans to raise their hands to show the pink armbands in support of gays and lesbians that were distributed among the audience, the new agency reported.

Madonna’s spokeswoman, Liz Rosenberg, did not immediately respond to emails asking for the singer’s reaction to the lawsuit.

Look, Madonna is sort of a crazy, insufferable bitch, but I hope we’re all on Madonna’s side in this case. I mean, I can see where people would get upset over the stomping of a cross, but it seems like the real issue here is the fact that Madonna simply asked her fans to show support of the gay community. And not even with fire or screaming or anything remotely scary: with pink armbands. Would that sort of thing really damage minors all that much?

August 20, 2012 at 2:30 pm by Emily