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Madonna

Gwyneth Paltrow goes Madonna, Audrey Hepburn for Max Factor campaign

gwyneth paltrow madonna max factor

Gwyneth Paltrow is a hot ass mess, and something she just cannot do – besides get the stick out of her ass – is “let loose”. I literally cannot imagine the woman not in pressed linen pants or, say, eating a large pepperoni pizza in pyjamas that are stained sort of a weird purple colour because she accidentally put them in the wash with the darker stuff. She’s just not capable of it, and that’s why her new Max Factor campaign is a massive fail.

For the ads, which are part of Max Factor’s 100 years of Glamour anniversary/Modern Icon campaign, Goopy dresses up like four beauty icons: Madonna, Farrah Fawcett, Audrey Hepburn and Brigitte Bardot. She carries off exactly none of them.

gwyneth paltrow brigitte bardot max factor

See what I mean? I know that Max Factor as a brand wants to convey a certain level of glamour and seriousness – especially since they aren’t exactly marketing to the teen crowd – but like… why? Why Gwyneth Paltrow as the face of your brand at all, really? I would lay $100 bet on the fact that she’s never touched an item of their makeup (other than, say, for photoshoots) and would turn her nose up at drugstore beauty purchases. After all, they’re not organic and don’t contain ingredients that were milked from the teats of forest squirrels or whatever she’s into. It’s just not believable.

gwyneth paltrow audrey hepburn max factor

What do you think?

gwyneth paltrow farrah fawcett max factor

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Madonna needs to stop, seriously

madonna

The Met Gala was on Monday night, and while all the celebrities donned their fanciest frocks and enjoyed a night out on the town, Madonna was busy… posting naked selfies to Instagram in yet another attempt to remain relevant. Girl, no. Just really, really no.

Madonna posted the photo above along with the following caption:

What i wanted to wear to Met Ball but Anna said Not this year! So I’m gonna work on music instead? #artforfreedom

Obviously she was never even going to the Met Gala in the first place, but she thought that would be a funny “joke” and again, another way for her to try to appeal to the masses. No shade on Madonna’s body – she’s definitely in shape and has a great one, but we do not need to see that shit – especially not from a 55-year-old mother of four. Do you and be sexual and embrace your body and all of that, but maybe keep it off social media next time.

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Madonna’s ‘Game of Thrones’ costume was actually the real thing

madonna game of thrones

Unfortunately, the image of Madonna dressed as Daenerys Targaryen from Game of Thrones for Purim is burned into our minds forevermore. However, even though it was an absolute mess, everyone had to admit she did a pretty impressive job in looking the part.

Well, turns out, there’s a reason for that: it was Emilia Clarke‘s actual costume from the show!

“It’s my real costume. I thought I was dreaming. I got an email from amazing HBO publicist Mara, saying, ‘Madonna would like to borrow the costume, is that okay?’ I thought, ‘God, this must be a dream. This can’t be real.’”

Oh girl, it is real, unfortunately. Here’s Emilia’s interview on Late Night Starring Jimmy Fallon if you want to hear more…

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MIA wants to borrow $16 million from Madonna over NFL middle finger fine

super bowl

Remember when MIA performed with Madonna during the Super Bowl halftime show in 2012 and she decided it’d be super fun to give the middle finger, because she’s 12 and ~a ToTaL rEbEl~? Well, that little stunt is going to cost her $16 million, which – let’s be honest – homegirl clearly does not have.

Here’s the deal: the NFL is apparently suing MIA for breaching her performance contract and wants an extra $15.1m in restitution on top of the original $1.5m it’s been seeking for the past two years. I guess the $15 million is what advertisers would have paid during that performance slot? Not sure how that’s got anything to do with MIA since they wouldn’t have advertised during a halftime show, right?

Anyway, LOL to this:



And here’s a bit more of what’s going on via The Hollywood Reporter:

“The claim for restitution lacks any basis in law, fact, or logic,” say M.I.A.’s response papers, filed on Friday.

The music superstar tells the arbitrator that the “continued pursuit of this proceeding is transparently an exercise by the NFL intended solely to bully and make an example of Respondents for daring to challenge NFL.”

Wow, what a massive mess.

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Make it stop: Madonna dresses up as ‘Game of Thrones’ Daenerys Targaryen

madonna

Madonna is constantly doing weird shit to try and re-connect with the younger generation, but homegirl needs to sit down and relax, because she’s taken it a step too far here. Sure, I know maybe her hideous grill was that step too far, but now she’s gone and dressed up as Daenerys Targaryen from Game of Thrones and it’s ten shades of “Oh, hell no!”

Madge posted the above photo to her Instagram page yesterday, along with a “Happy Purim” message because in case you forgot, she’s Jewish now. I saw a 40-year-old dude (who wasn’t accompanying a child, I might add) dressed as a giant giraffe last night when I was in the back of a cab coming back from the airport. Happy Purim, indeed.

I’m not really sure what’s happening with Madonna anymore, but whatever. If anything, she was at least thorough with her costume!

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Do You Want Skin Like Madonna?

"W.E." Filming in Central Park in New York City on September 17, 2010

When you look at Madonna, is her gorgeous skin the first thing you admire? Probably not. However, she clearly believes people want to follow her routine, as she’s releasing her own line of skincare products called MDNA Skin. The line is coming out SOON, with a pop-up shop opening in the next week Omotesando, Tokyo.

You can get the products at that shop ’til February 23, when you can then get them everywhere else around the world. There are only a few products in the line to start with – a clay mask, a skin rejuvenator and a facial serum. I’m assuming Madonna doesn’t use her own products.

Michelle Peck, skin care artist and Madonna’s brand ambassador, released the following statement:

“The brand’s goal is to challenge women and their awareness about the art of beauty and skin care.

Using these products routinely as part of daily skin care regime creates firm, resilient and radiant skin overflowing with energy after every use.”

Nah, I’m good.

I’m not ragging on Madonna for getting older – we all do, and I don’t think that’s anything to be ashamed of or anything that makes a woman “less beautiful”. I do, however, think Madonna has had so much plastic surgery that it renders anything she might have to say about “skincare” and “rejuvination” completely moot. Why should I believe your products are going to work when they clearly didn’t work for you, or else you wouldn’t have gone under the knife so many times and/or shot yourself up with so much Botox?

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Best And Worst Celebrity Looks Of The Week!

Nooooooooooooooo.

Nooooooooooooooo.

Welcome back to Best and Worst Celebrity Looks of the Week! If you’re looking for a Grammy’s fashion post, here it is.

Let’s take a look at what celebs were wearing this week and dub a “winner” for BEST, WORST, and WTF.

Hint: Jared Leto is a big contender for "WTF." Full outfit in the post!

Hint: Jared Leto is a big contender for “WTF.” Full outfit in the post!

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