If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, Madonna ought to be flattered by Lady Gaga. But is she?

Tough to say.

First there was that quote in Newsweek Emily mentioned yesterday.

Then, in an interview aired on 20/20 last night, Madonna tried to play coy. (Unfortunately for Madonna, her “coy” is everybody else’s “ridiculously obvious.”) From the New York Daily News:

Madonna is finally expressing herself on Lady Gaga’s song, “Born This Way.”

Critics had pointed out similarities in the hit 2010 tune and the Material Girl’s 1989 chart-topper, “Express Yourself,” but Madonna herself had been quiet on the subject until Friday night’s interview on ABC’s “20/20.”

“When I heard it on the radio… I said that sounds very familiar,” Madonna told ABC News.

When pressed further, Madonna added that the song “felt reductive.”

Asked what that means, a smiling Madonna added, “Look it up.”

Jeesh. Without looking anything up, I can tell you Madonna thinks Gaga’s music is derivative in an artlessly unnuanced, shallow way. Just a guess.

By the way, this is on the front page of dictionary.com today:

I thought that was funny.

(more…)

Oh, Madonna. I don’t even know where to start with this lady, I truly don’t. I started off with an interesting quote of hers about Lady Gaga, then I found some more interesting quotes about marriage, and then when I went to find a photo of her for whatever I decided to write about, I found these pictures from a premiere for W.E., that movie that Madonna directed and co-wrote. Yep, you’re seeing it right – that photo up there is of Madonna adjusting her cape with her hand. Her hand that is wearing a fingerless glove.

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Let’s go back to where this all started, shall we? And the beginning is that, in an interview with Newsweek, Madonna was asked what she thought about Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way.” And, like, remember how Madonna’s kind of a bitch? Well …

“I thought, What a wonderful way to redo my song. I mean, I recognized the chord changes. I thought it was…interesting.”

Zing! So catty, right? I kind of love it, but only because I dislike Lady Gaga so much, and, hey, she did kind of redo Madonna’s song.

But then, as if Madonna hadn’t given us enough already, she went and discussed the topic of marriage:

“It’s not that I ever believed in perfect love,” the mother of four explained. “But if you are a romantic like me, you want to be swept off your feet by a knight in shining armor. Unfortunately, we are raised on those fairytales, and even if we are sophisticated, educated, intellectually evolved human beings we still, in the back of our mind, think that Mr. Right is going to come along and we are going to live happily ever after.”

Could Madonna — whose twelfth studio album, out in March, is called M.D.N.A. — see herself getting married for a third timie?

“I could actually,” she said. “Yes.”

I find that bit interesting mainly because of who Madonna is currently dating. Remember, she has her own little baby boyfriend, Brahim Zaiban, who she has been dating for a little over a year. Brahim is 24 years old, just like Jennifer Lopez‘s little boyfriend, Casper Smart! They should have play dates in the park, shouldn’t they?! Oh, how darling!

But for real, what’s the deal with the huge age difference, Madonna?

“I didn’t choose to, you know, I didn’t, like, write down on a piece of paper I’m now going to have a relationship with a younger man. That’s just what happened. You see, that’s the romantic in me. I just met someone that I cared for, and this happened to be his age.”

But when asked what she found appealing about younger man, the Material Girl tried to shut down the line of questioning with, “I don’t feel comfortable with this conversation.”

Always a barrel of laughs, that Madonna!

You guys, I almost totally forgot! The Entertainment Lawyer who scribes Crazy Days and Nights is finally “naming names,” as is his hallowed New Year’s Day tradition.

Emily hit on some of the year’s best, most salacious scandals, but you guys! THERE IS SO MUCH MORE.

- Now we know for sure: Lea Michele is starting to behave like a real diva.

- Chris Brown is kind of a dickwad—a “Don’t you know who I am?” kind of dickwad.

- Stars who hate each other: Rob Lowe and Amy Poehler, Evan Rachel Wood and Kate Winslet.

(more…)

“I don’t know. By the way, I enjoyed my first marriage. It’s definitely not something I regret. The experience was ultimately very positive. I love the kids that came out of it, and I could see no other route to take. But you move on, don’t you? You’re right, I stepped into a soap opera, and I lived in it for quite a long period of my life. I’ll probably be more eloquent on it 10 years from now. When you end up with a lot of the things you set out to chase and find that you’ve stumbled into all sorts of hollow victories, then you become deeply philosophical. I’m quite happy that that experience was accelerated for me. I’m glad I made money, in other words. And I’m glad I got married.”

This would be Madonna‘s most recent ex-husband, talking about what it was like being married to the Queen of Pop. While I think there’s probably a lot more to it than just that, I think he kind of clued us in on the fact that marriage to Madge was more than likely a f*cking three-ring circus, but a three-ring circus that made him rich in the end, and that’s apparently what mattered at the end of the thing.

Oh, that, and the kids. You go, Guy?

See this face down here? This face on Madonna’s daughter, Lourdes?

It’s in direct response to what her mother’s doing these days at the same social events that Lourdes herself attends. What could it be, I’m sure you’re wondering? Throwing hydrangeas at people whilst shaking a sinewy fist? No, that’d be too classy for Madge. Rescuing unwanted children from third- and fourth-world countries? Nope, too noble! This is what Madonna’s doing lately, right in front of her daughter’s appraising and bored – eyes:

Awesome, right? I mean, don’t you just wish you had a mom just like this? One that has boyfriends (who, ahem, completely aren’t chosen by their ages and lack of man-like facial hair) that you can, like, totally relate to, and maybe even snag if you play your cards right? Boyfriends like this?:

Yeah. You do.

“Well, it can also be more than just sexual, um, appendages. I don’t necessarily like to use the word lover because it sounds like they just come over and have sex with you. I aspire to more than that, and I need more than that. Respect for women and understanding that everything must be earned. Those are two big ones. Someone to share my inner life with. That’s extremely important. It’s also important that my children admire and respect this partner that I would choose for myself. Especially for my sons, who have their father [ex-husband Guy Ritchie], but they need a male role model as well. So I need to keep this in mind: What is this person modeling to my sons, what kind of man is he, what values does he have, what energy is he giving off? Because they are impressionable. It’s so important.”

Am I the only one who completely does not buy the fact that Madonna goes for her “lovers” because of their looks (and probably their wang size?)? Because if she was really interested in fostering relationships that were good examples for her kids – benchmarks so to speak – she might choose boyfriends that are a little bit closer to her peer age group than that of her high school-aged kids, eh?

Photo courtesy of Harper’s Bazaar