Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Lena Horne

Summer of Death 2010: And the Beat Goes On …

photo of news anchor ted koppel standing in front of nightline news program backdrop

So we’ve had Paul Gray of SlipknotGary Coleman, the much-revered Dennis Hopper, musical icon Lena Horne, Black Sabbath rocker Ronnie Dio, political analyst and insider David Ginsburg, Brittany Murphy’s husband, Simon Monjack and lifelong TV personality Art Linkletter, just to name a few — and all before the summer solstice. Craziness and total sadness.

However, something I’m completely not sad for? The latest SOD victim: Andrew Koppel. You might not recognize his name, because he’s just affiliated with someone famous (dude just so happens to be son of mega television news anchor Ted Koppel), but he was found dead early this morning in a New York City apartment after what some called a “day-long drinking binge.” Way to commemorate America’s fallen heroes by doing something so fucking stupid and drinking yourself to death in just one day. Great.

I’m sorry; I know I probably sound like a total douchey bitch over this, but I have no remorse or sympathy for people who engage in this kind of behavior. Most people have a hard time drinking themselves to death over a period of years or even a lifetime, but not this guy. Dumb ass does it in one day. Koppel was said to be drinking straight whiskey all damned day and yet, he totally expected to wake up the following morning.

Koppel was joined by some waiter at one point during the day, who hung out with him during his “pub-crawl.” Russell Wimberly, the Washington Heights-living waiter, claimed that Koppel seemed on a mission to get drunk; between bar stops, Wimberly stated that Koppel sipped from a bottle of Jameson. When Koppel became too inebriated to do anything but crash, Wimberly brought him back to his apartment, which he shared with a live-in girlfriend. The couple put Koppel to bed in order to sleep it off, but found him unresponsive a few hours later, not breathing. Koppel had also pissed and shit himself in the bed.

I’m desperately sorry to this idiot’s girlfriend and child, both left behind and who also reside in NYC. I’m also sorry for Ted Koppel, who seems like a solid dude and a former resident of Nazi Germany, who fled to the states for a better life, secured and defended by the American government and its soldiers. I’m sure he was happy to observe Memorial Day by learning of his son’s death-by-stupidity.

Just goes to show, money can’t buy you class. Or reservation.