3What The World Needs Now Is Another Kardashian Spin-Off

Yes, a spin-off with those two little ones, that’ll do the trick! Oh, and one with the boy! And now that Khloe‘s Laker man, Lamar, got traded to the Dallas Mavericks, somebody with a camera should follow them on down to Texas! The Kardashian empire has just begun to take hold!

For real, this is all happening. See, there’s a new boss over at E!, home of the Kardashians, and she isn’t content with the three measly shows the family has now. No, she’s aiming for “two, three, even four new Kardashian spin-offs” that focus on all the crazy antics of this “beautiful” and “interesting” family. Yes, this lady called the Kardashians beautiful and interesting.

You know, I’ve been enjoying the Kardashians lately – I watched pretty much the entirety of Keeping Up with the Kardashians and I just started on Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami because it’s fun for me to watch every single trainwreck take place and it makes me giggle that people that stupid actually exist in real life – but I think we’re in a good place right now. I don’t think we need up to four new television programs about this family, do you?

December 14, 2011 at 6:30 am by Emily

10Who’s Buying The Kardashian Nail Polish?

I think a better question would be who isn’t buying the Kardashian nail polish! With color names like “Sealed with a Kris,” “Kim-pletely in Love,” “Khloe Had a Little Lam-Lam,” and “Listen to Your Momager,” these nail polishes will practically sell themselves.

Even more good news: all the Kardashian ladies – Kim, Khloe, Kourtney, Kris, Kendall, and Kylie – are all in on the deal. The deal which earned these lovely women $600,000 up front to be split evenly between them. And yes, that means that 16-year-old Kendall and 14-year-old Kylie just made $100,000. How does that feel?

One more question: can anyone tell me a nail polish brand that isn’t ridiculously expensive that also won’t chip off five seconds after it dries? Does that exist?

December 7, 2011 at 7:30 am by Emily

14The World Is Trying to Ban The Kardashians

You guys might have seen some comments around these parts or on other blogs about a “Kardashian Free Zone Day,” a boycott of the E! channel on November 27th. You also might have seen talk of a petition requesting that E! entirely remove the Kardashians from their programming because “these shows are mostly staged and place an emphasis on vanity, greed, promiscuity, vulgarity and over-the-top conspicuous consumption. While some may have begun watching the spectacle as mindless entertainment or as a sort of ‘reality satire,’ it is a sad truth that many young people are looking up to this family and are modeling their appearance and behavior after them.” Right now, the petition has nearly 85,000 signatures, so whatever you’ve seen, people are getting pretty sick of the Kardashians.

Personally, I’m torn. I’d never seen any of the Kardashian shows until this weekend. Don’t tell anybody, but I was really bored and curious, and I watched the first four episodes of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I appreciated the show like I appreciate Jersey Shore: it’s mindless drama that’s just fun to watch. I enjoy giggling at the stupidity of people, and since these people are getting paid ridiculous amounts, I don’t feel bad for it. Everybody wins! Except, I suppose, whatever people actually look up to the Kardashians. Oh, and those girls who were very young when the show started and were almost inevitably warped by Kris Jenner‘s need for money and fame, they didn’t win either.

So really, I don’t know where I stand. I don’t want the young impressionable youth to think that emulating Kim Kardashian is remotely ok, but at the same time, I can’t imagine that Bruce Jenner’s face will ever fail to make me smile. Is it too ambitious to dream that we lived in a society where people made their own choices instead of going with whatever idiot who made her way on television has to say?

Where do you guys stand?

November 16, 2011 at 4:30 pm by Emily

3The Youngest Members of the Kardashian Family Can’t Get Enough Camera Time

At least they’re fully clothed this time. And not thrusting their hips all thither, thither and yon again. It’s an improvement, on the whole, though I still don’t fully get where they’re trying to go with all of these music video parodies.

And also, why not just change their damn last names to Kardashian already anyway? The first names “Kylie” and “Kendall” just beg to be followed by the surname of “Kardashian.” Get on with the inevitable, ffs.

August 1, 2011 at 12:30 pm by Sarah

0Love It or Leave It: These Chicks Are So on Their Way to Being Real Kardashians

I mean just look at the way they cheese it up for the camera, mugging and sticking out their hips and shoulders and knees. It’s practically a trademark Kardashian pose. Kylie and Kendall Jenner were photographed at the Prom premiere (and I’d like to know when the prom was so be-all, end-all that it was shortened to just ‘Prom’) last night, and though they looked like cute young girls, their last name is still not Kardashian. Therefore, they have a bit more hip thrusting to do to make up for that technicality. It’s gonna take some time, but it’s doable.

April 22, 2011 at 10:30 am by Sarah

0Kendall and Kylie Jenner Rip Off Taylor Swift’s ‘Better Than Revenge,’ Surprise Me By Acting Like Real Young Girls

And Taylor Swift, too. Cute. I mean, most young girls don’t run around hopping fences in the tightest of leather pants, but hey. Taylor Swift. These girls might just have hope yet.

December 1, 2010 at 9:00 am by Sarah