Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Kris Jenner

The Kardashian Kristmas Kard Is Here!

Kardashian christmas card

It’s time for the annual Kardashian family Christmas card, and it’s just as weird as ever. There’s absolutely nothing about this picture that says ‘Christmas’ – no trees, no garland, nothing but old gossip magazines, dollar signs and Bruce‘s swimming awards in a case. I’m not sure what the point is of this David LaChappelle shoot, but it certainly isn’t anything to get you in the holiday spirit.

Notice that Scott Disick is nowhere to be seen, nor are Lamar Odom or even Rob Kardashian. Is he just not part of the family anymore? It’s all too bizarre and awful.

Up close photos (if you dare) are below:

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Let’s See What Celebrities Ate For Thanksiving Dinner

 

Did everyone eat a shit ton of food yesterday? Are you getting amped up for leftovers today? Well, celebs had their feasts yesterday too, with some looking a bit better than others’. Of course, MUCH of this food was catered and you can tell. Kim Kardashian and Kris Jenner tried to pretend they had home cooking, but their Instagram followers weren’t fooled and called them out on having chefs/caterers for the big day, LOL. Justin Bieber‘s dinner looked like the most un-fun thing ever. Just looking at these is making me hungry.

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Kris Jenner Cried Herself to Sleep Over Kim Kardashian’s Sex Tape

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I can only imagine the complex emotions that must have run through Kris Jenner‘s head when Kim Kardashian‘s sex tape “leaked” a few years back: joy, elation, excitement, appreciation, anticipation… you get the point. While it’s clear that Kris clearly saw her daughter fucking on camera as the huge financial and career opportunity it actually did turn out to be, she’s trying to say now that she “cried herself to sleep” over it. Why, because you hadn’t considered making it happen years earlier? Because you probably had a lot to do with its release, anyway.

Here’s what she had to say on Joan Rivers’ web series, In Bed with Joan:

“I cried myself to sleep. I don’t think anything can prepare you for something like that when it comes to your daughter.

“I had to go into a room and cry for a couple days and say, ‘Okay, pull yourself to-fucking-gether because you have to be here for all these kids and your family, and you have to show them as an example how to get through this’.”

LOL, yeah, okay. She also claims she doesn’t really get money for being her kids’ momager:

“I said to the girl, ‘I love what I do. I think I have a lot to offer. I think I’m good at what I do but my thing is I would never take that for my own’.”

The Kardashian/Jenner family could literally comprise an entire study on famewhoring. Literally, the scholar doing it wouldn’t need to look to any other examples outside of this family. I cannot with any of them (except you, Khloe… but you need to get rid of Lamar SOON).

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Kris Jenner Is “Too Busy” to Date

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Kris Jenner announced her separation from Bruce Jenner, her husband of twenty odd years, earlier this month. It was all very… not surprising in the least, as Kris is a cougar about town and ready to sink her teeth into a new relationship openly (as opposed to the several affairs I’m 100% sure she had during her marriage to Bruce).

While lots of reports have suggested several potential partners for Kris, she’s had to speak out and say it’s all lies! She’s not dating anyone, in fact, because she simply doesn’t have time. After all, you can’t be the momager of someone like Kim Kardashian (the other two… whatever) and still have much time for your own life.

Anyway, here’s the shit she fed E! Online:

“I don’t have time to date anybody. I mean it all sounds great, right? My fake little fantasy life that they’re making up for me as I go along,” she tells E! News. “Some of the things people write often fascinate me…it’s like a creative writing experience. But, I’m not dating anybody, but I do have a lot of really great friends who are a lot of fun and we hang out all the time. I’m working on a lot of amazing projects at work, that I’ll tell you about later [winks].”

Oh, fuck off, Kris. Is the new project because your stupid talk show that tanked (other than the day you managed to manipulate Kanye into coming on) so you kinda have to plan something new?

No one cares about who she’s dating, either. Whoever it is will most likely be a gold digging young whipper snapper (see: Madonna, Jennifer Lopez – not that she’s on either of their levels in the slightest) who won’t be worth the words typed about him.

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Latest Gossip Says Bruce Jenner Wants To Be A Woman

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Whichever Kardashian leaked this gossip (Kris), well done. I salute you. This is just ridiculous. I love it. Star magazine is reporting the real reason Kris wants to divorce Bruce Jenner is because he wants to be a woman. Maybe Bruce really does want to be female. It seems unlikely. It seems like there is a whole sea of straws someone is grasping at here. Please enjoy these glorious details from Star:

“Bruce has a feminine side,” our source reveals. “He likes growing his hair out, likes getting manicures and pedicures and won’t leave his house without his diamond earrings. And he’s obsessed with plucking his eyebrows!”

To Star readers, the 63-year-old’s feminine qualities are no surprise. Two years ago, we first reported his fetish with cross-dressing, and now, more sources are coming forward that echo our original report — including details about how he “borrowed” stepdaughter Kim Kardashian’s lingerie!

“Kris has told Bruce that she will reveal his secret if he doesn’t go along with her plans about their split or their show,” the insider adds.

Let’s say this source is telling the truth. These rumors have been around before. Maybe he just likes wearing womens’ clothing. It doesn’t mean he wants to be a woman. He should definitely get his own lingerie though. Jesus, Bruce. Anyway, whether any of this is true or false, my verdict is the same: poor dude. Did he have any idea what he was getting into all those years ago? …did any of us?

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Kris Jenner Shares Juicy Details About Her Break Up

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Kris Jenner and Bruce Jenner have separated, and Kris is ready to cash in. Hey, how long before she changes her name to Kris Kardashian? Probably not long, especially considering what she told Daily Mail’s New You Magazine. She shared some juicy details about her marriage life. Via E Online:

The one regret, if I had to do it over, would be divorcing Robert Kardashian. But then there wouldn’t have been Kendall and Kylie, so that’s the way I look at that. I don’t have a lot of regrets.

Wow, way to throw Bruce under the bus. The bus that barely has gas in it, the bus that you only JUST turned the key in. Jesus. God, do you even drive a bus, Kris? Do you even have a license?

Meanwhile, daughter Khloe’s marriage also hangs in the balance.

This f-cking family.

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Kris And Bruce Jenner Are SEPARATED

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Kris and Bruce Jenner are separated, and who could have ever seen this coming, what with the report we gave on Khloe talking about them sleeping in separate quarters, and on national TV! NO ONE could have seen this coming. And yet, even though they’re apart, they’re very happy. You guys, this is some hardcore romantic shit here. See for yourselves, from E Online:

We are living separately and we are much happier this way,” the pair exclusively tell E! News. “But we will always have much love and respect for each other. Even though we are separated, we will always remain best friends and, as always, our family will remain our number one priority.”

LOL “as always”, right. If by “family”, you mean business, then of course, everything is “as always,” Kris. Let’s hope your talk show is going stronger than your marriage.

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