7Look, It’s The Kardashian Kristmas Kard!

Because we all know that it’s not Christmastime until we see how the Kardashians and the Jenners decided to come together for their annual Christmas card.

There’s a couple of interesting things here, I guess. Obviously, Kanye isn’t there, which is extremely upsetting, and also surprising. Don’t they realize how much more press they would get with this is he was on there? There’s not any trouble in Kimye paradise, is there? Heaven forbid Kim lose the latest love of her life, especially when she’s still married to her last one. Can you even imagine?

I guess the only other interesting thing is how much people care about these cards every year. When I was trying to find the best version of this photo, I found dozens and dozens of other blogs and news sites that already got the tip last night, and I don’t get it. And you know I’m not trying to do a big “why do people care about celebrities?” thing, or even a “why do people care about the Kardashians?” thing. People care about them because it’s fun to gossip, duh. But I don’t get why people care so much about these Christmas cards specifically. Is it just so we can speculate about Kim’s love life? Or to see what Bruce Jenner‘s face is up to? Because I can understand that. But otherwise, what’s the appeal?

It’s not Kim’s stupid greased back hair, that’s for sure.

December 18, 2012 at 4:30 am by Emily

5Basically Everybody Hates Kris Jenner

From Radar:

It’s looking like nothing is going to help bridge the rumored gap in Kris and Bruce Jenner’s flailing marriage, as the new issue of Star magazine reports that not only are the couple heading for divorce, but their imminent split is threatening to tear the family apart, both physically and psychologically.

“Everything is great, we feel very blessed as a family,” the momager recently said in response to rumors that divorce was looming. However, according to Star, Bruce is currently in the process of moving himself and their two youngest daughters, Kylie, 15, and Kendall, 17, out of the family home.

“Kylie and Kendall broke down crying to Bruce,” an insider close to the family told Star magazine — going on to claim that there’s tension in the family over fears that Kris has been putting the teenage girls’ burgeoning careers ahead of their childhood.

According to Star, following a huge fight with Kris over the girls, Bruce not only stormed out of the family’s home in Calabasas, CA., but he’s now currently looking for somewhere new to live. Surprisingly, according to Star, cheering in his corner of the ring are stepchildren Kourtney, Khloe and Robert, who want to protect the youngest members of the family.

Meanwhile, Star reports that Kourtney is sick and tired of her mom meddling in her troubled relationship with her fiance and father of her two children, Scott Disick, and the only one siding with their mom is middle daughter, Kim.

“The family really is in an all out war,” the insider told Star.

Yeah, this sounds about right. Though I always thought Kris Jenner was a bad mom for enabling her children, especially the two youngest, to be irresponsible, narcissistic airheads. If she’s a bad mom for forcing her kids to do this stuff, then I call game over. Let poor Bruce move out and find someone else to manipulate him for 20 years. Jeez.

December 12, 2012 at 2:30 pm by Emily

54Children’s Services Paid A Visit to The Kardashian House

I know it’s hard to remember, what with the constant fame whoring of her older daughters, but Kris Jenner is still the mother of two teenage girls. Kendall Jenner is 16, and little Kylie is 15. Earlier this year, Kris pulled them out of high school so they could get started on making some real money (that actually happened – they both model now, and they’re “homeschooled”), and now, she’s been reported for abuse.

From Radar:

The Los Angeles County of Department of Children and Family Services and cops made a welfare check to Bruce and Kris Jenner’s Calabasas mansion after someone made an anonymous call alleging that their daughters, Kendall and Kylie were in distress, RadarOnline.com is exclusively reporting.

“On Friday several sheriff’s deputies from the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department Lost Hills station and social workers from the Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services made an unexpected visit to Bruce and Kris Jenner’s house after someone made an anonymous call that their daughters were in danger and in distress,” a law enforcement source told RadarOnline.comexclusively.

“Social workers met with the girls individually and determined that they were fine but out of an abundance of caution, cops and social workers will be making another visit to the house Monday afternoon before they officially close the case. Under California law, anytime a call is made to DCFS alleging that a minor is in danger, whether of physical or emotional abuse, it must be investigated.”

There’s no word yet on how yesterday’s visit went, but you know nothing happened, because Kendall and Kylie aren’t being abused. They’re being pimped: subtle difference.

October 30, 2012 at 5:30 am by Emily

8The Scariest Halloween Costume of All

The costume isn’t even all that scary because Kris Jenner appears to have grown Kanye-heads from her bosom, it’s what’s UNDER the Kanye-heads that’s the most frightening aspect of this costume.

Kris went ahead and sent a photo of herself to Instagram, showing her followers what she’s going to be for Halloween (presumably), and not only did they get an eyeful of Kris’s costume, they got an eyeful of nipple, too.

Jump in and check out the semi-NSFW photos of Kris Jenner baring her wonder women for all of the Internet to “accidentally” see. Yike.

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October 22, 2012 at 4:30 pm by Sarah

5Kim And Kanye Are Probably Getting Their Own Show, Kris Jenner Wants to Direct

From Hollywood Life:

Kim Kardashian and Kris Jenner are at war over Kim and Kanye West’s upcoming reality show. Kim wants the show to focus on her relationship with Kanye and their adventures in the fashion and music world. But Kris is demanding that she have complete creative control over the show, and wants it to be full of drama and chaos to pull in top ratings!

A friend of the Kardashian family tells HollywoodLife.com EXCLUSIVELY, “It’s not pretty! Kim is sick and tired of Kris trying to control every aspect of her new reality show with Kanye. They don’t share the same vision at all. Kim wants it be cute and sweet and Kris wants drama, drama, drama!”

How does Kanye feel about the drama? He wants to keep both ladies happy!

“Kanye is keeping his mouth shut about the reality show. Of course, his number one priority is making Kim happy, but he doesn’t want to get on Kris’ bad side. He has agreed to go ahead with the show, but refuses to get in the middle of Kim and her mother,” the friend said.

Kim and Kris are planning on buying a pricey flat in London, where they hope to film part of their reality show. Kim wants to tape episodes of the November launch of the Kardashian Kollection line in London.

The insider says, “Kris is convinced that the show will only do well if there is drama, so she wants Kim and Kanye to pretend like they are fighting over which flat to purchase in London. Kim thinks this is completely ridiculous and is not willing to put on an act for ratings. Until Kim and Kris can see eye to eye, nothing is going to happen unless they can somehow meet in the middle.”

Please keep in mind that, sadly, The Kimye Show is just a rumor at this point in time. You know it’s going to happen though, right? I hope you’ve already accepted that, because it doesn’t matter if it’s full of Kris Jenner‘s made up drama or full of Kim and Kanye‘s perfect love, it’s going to be a Very Big Deal. So just brace yourselves for that.

But you know, even though I understand that this show’s definitely going to happen, I still think it’s a little weird. It raises a few questions, doesn’t it? See, Kris Humphries married Kim, and they never got their own show. He was on Kourtney and Kim Take New York, but there was no spin-off. And yet there are already plans to create a show about Kim and Kanye, the couple who’s been dating for a few months? Is it just me, or did all those marriage rumors just get a little more realistic?

September 1, 2012 at 12:00 pm by Emily

10Kris Jenner Has Scorched My Retinas for the Very Last Time

Kris‘s tagline on her Twitter, before you even take a look at the picture, which I’m going to put after a jump it’s so horrifying, reads this:

MOM, MANAGER, MOMAGER, LOVER OF LIFE, LOVER OF CHRIST

Horrible, right? Well just imagine this: it gets worse. WORSE.

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August 6, 2012 at 12:30 pm by Sarah