Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian Swears She Isn’t Botoxing Her Face While Pregnant

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Kim Kardashian is almost ready to give birth so of course she gave up botox long ago, right? Well some people are saying that no, when it comes to Botox, Kim is still…keeping up. (YEEEEAAAHHH!!!)

The incredibly vague details from In Touch magazine:

Insiders tell In Touch that Kim is putting her baby’s health on the line in the name of beauty. “She’s still getting injections even though she’s seven months pregnant,”says an insider. Kim’s obsession with beauty hasn’t only driven her to get chemicals injected into her face — she’s also been having gel manicures and spray tans, all procedures that could have consequences for her unborn baby with boyfriend Kanye West. “She’s so worried about what she looks like — that’s why she’s still getting Botox,” says a family insider. “She’ll go to any lengths to protect the one thing that’s most precious to her: her beauty.”

I’ve included several images of her from this past month, in case you want to take a very close look. Kim is also saying that she has “pregnancy lips”. She instagrammed a photo of her puffy pout with, “My pregnancy lips are outta control #IGuessNotABadProblemToHave.” Ew. I don’t know why, but ew.

kim kardashian instagram pregnancy lips photo

But back to the Botox: what do you think? Did she go full Lohan?

OH GOD, There’s Going To Be A Kardashian Family Porn Spoof

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Sometimes, bad things happen to good people in this life. The “good people” in this situation are THE ENTIRE WORLD because apparently we’re going to have to endure a Kardashian family porn spoof. Why God why? Kim, Khloe and Kourtney – and yes, momager Kris, too – will all be portrayed by actors and will go at it with… each other? I don’t even know.

From TMZ:

It’s the closest thing to a Kardashian family sex tape you’ll ever get … a K-fam porn spoof — and everyone from Kim to Kris … and even Khloe are getting the XXX treatment.

TMZ has learned … porn star Kiara Mia — star of “Bra Busters 4″ and “Shrimp Fried P****” — is taking on the Kardashian fam in her directorial debut … a parody of “Keeping Up with the Kardashians.”

We’re told there are no plans to mock Kim’s infamous sex tape with Ray J in the film — but a Ray-J-alike will make an appearance during a sex scene between not-Kim and not-Kanye.

A porn star playing a porn star — doesn’t get more meta than that.

I mean, in a sense, I guess I’m surprised that this didn’t exist already. But I guess considering Kim made her name (and the entire family’s, for that matter) on an ACTUAL sex tape. Nevertheless, this whole thing sort of makes me want to throw up in my mouth a bit. I know some of you pervs will download it, though.

Kanye West Thinks Marrying Kim Kardashian Would Damage His Finances

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Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are having a baby together in a few short months, so one would assume that they plan to be together for a long time. Couples don’t have to get married to be committed (holler and let your love RIP, Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins), but many choose to walk down the aisle as a show of their everlasting love… or at least for the tax benefits. Turns out, Kanye’s probably dodging poor Kimmycakes because he’s got no intention of exchanging vows since it would be bad for his checkbook. LOL, work that one out.

From Star (via DS):

“Kanye has real money. He won’t marry Kim because it would hurt his finances.

“Kim is a shopaholic! She spends $350,000 a month on her credit cards.

“She pays hundreds of thousands of dollars for designers to custom-make clothes for her, and she spent millions on Louis Vuitton handbags to match each outfit.”

Uh, $350,000 a month? Are you shitting me? I don’t think I could even find $350,000 worth of shit to buy in a year, let alone a month. Then again, I guess even the entire Primark summer collection wouldn’t add up to half that, so maybe we’re on different scales, here.

I think the real reason Kanye won’t marry Kim is because, duh, he doesn’t want to be with her. It’s clear he’s having major regrets about having dipped his pen into that ink, if you feel me, and he’s not trying to put a ring on it. He never was. There’s no way in hell this baby thing was planned, AT ALL, and something tells me it wasn’t a welcome surprise.

Also, here’s a present for getting through this article, but you’ll have to go behind the cut as it’s a little… disturbing. Read More

Kim Kardashian Thinks Turtlenecks Can Be Sexy

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Kim Kardashian is apparently an authority on fashion (not to me, but just saying) and despite her awful pregnancy clothing choices, she’s spouting off about how to dress sexy. Because, you know, that’s what we’re all concerned about, ladies! Make sure you look good so bros will want to f-ck you and other women will be jealous of you/want to look just like you! But hey, don’t go getting all up in arms just yet. If you don’t have the body to pull off a mini dress or halter top, you can still look sexy – just put on a turtleneck!

From Now:

I’ve tried to stick to what I’d usually wear but you obviously have to change it a little bit,’ says Kim, 32. ‘You try things you think will work, but they don’t always work!

‘Anything stretchy works. So long as you feel good in something, you’ll feel sexy, too.’

Kim wants to be a yummy mummy.

‘I think there are different versions of sexy,’ she says.

‘There’s overly sexy, where you’re showing off and it’s, like, short and tight. Then there’s sophisticated and sexy; and then there’s effortless and sexy, not showing any skin.

‘You can wear a turtleneck and have that be super-sexy. I guess it depends on what sexiness is to you.

‘To me, now, it’s not showing everything like it once was, when I felt I wanted to wear the skintight short dress with boobs out. Now I don’t feel like that’s what it takes to be sexy.’

Well, that’s true enough – sexiness is definitely different to everyone and that makes this big wide world continue to spin. However, I think it’s hilarious that Kim is trying to get all philosophical about this, like she’s expressing some deep thought that has never occurred to anyone else before. Plus, it’s not like she’s following her own advice. We’ve seen that horrendous pregnancy fashion. If you didn’t feel you needed to wear skintight dresses and stuff your puffy ass feet into 6″ stilettos that LOOK painful, so I can only imagine how they feel… then we might have something to go on. Until then, STFU.

Live From New York, It’s A Kanye/Kardashian Fight!

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Kanye West is getting real sick of his extended Kardashian family — WELCOME TO EARTH!!! Mr. West performed on Saturday Night Live May 18 and things seemed to go well despite a classic Kanye rant a few days prior about how he’s not doing any “mothaf-cking SNL skits“. But apparently there was drama; it was just all backstage, where we couldn’t see. Here’s an exclusive from Diary Of A Hollywood Street King:

An insider says the arguing match between the trio all stemmed from Yeezus discovering Kris and Kim were secretly selling images of him and Kim, behind his back. That’s before we’re told Kayne began cussing Kim out, in front of SNL’s cast and crew, while Kris Jenner was being escorted out.

Here’s what an insider had to say:

“Kanye was an asshole and he was being very standoffish to everyone there. Lorne Michaels will never invite him back. Backstage Kris Jenner and Kim Kardashian with Kanye and his bodyguards and basically hovering over him while they scream and yell. The whole cast fled out of the way and security had to be called.

Kim was crying and Kris was basically being carried away by security. Chris Rock tried to step in but Kanye just brushed him to the side and was like ‘Man! this is nothing.’ Kris was raving and screaming the whole time and she felt bad for Kim.”

Can you really blame him? I STILL think that Justin Bieber is the bigger SNL douche. So, to quote Kanye, “Let’s have a toast to the douchebags.”

As for Lorne Michaels banishing Kanye…not sure if this will really happen. Kanye didn’t actually wreck the show or do anything while on stage. I think it’s more likely that the Kardashians will be the banned ones, although I doubt Kanye OR Kim & Co. will ever want to go back to SNL. You may remember in 2010 Kanye performed “Power” on SNL, which includes the lyric, “F-ck SNL and the whole cast” — and Kanye changed that line just for the show. He even tweeted,

25 Minutes to dress rehearsal … Just saw Lorne Michaels … uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum …. Akwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaard LOL!

Best of luck with all future endeavors, Kanye.

Do Not Come To Kim Kardashian’s Baby Shower Unless You Are Dressed In “Garden Chic”

kim kardashian baby shower invitations

Kim Kardashian is super serious about baby shower invites. Want to break it down?

1. Her invites are individual music boxes complete with twirling ballerina.
2. The music box plays Kanye’s song “Mama”.
3. The invite reads in small font, “Please come to a baby shower honoring” and then in giant font below,

“KIM KARDASHIAN”

4. The attire is “garden chic.”
5. Read numbers 1 – 3 again.

So, yeah, a lot going on here. I don’t think Kim Kardashian has ever worn anything close to “garden chic” in her life.

Thanks to TMZ for the hilarious photo and good luck to whoever leaked it, because you know Kanye and Kim are going to go all CSI on it and figure out who took it.

Is Kim Kardashian Having a Girl?

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Kim Kardashian is planning to put the Kris Jenner parenting approach into action once she gives birth, so it might be helpful if she has a girl. After all, we see how hard it is for Kris to pimp Rob out. Well, lucky for Kim, her little one just might be lucky enough to continue the royal lineage of selling yourself for very large amounts of money, because rumour has it that she’s having a daughter.

From E! Online:

Kim Kardashian’s baby shower preparations are well under way.

In fact, invitations have gone out to a select group of friends and family members for a June 2 baby-themed bash to celebrate the impending arrival of Kim and Kanye West’s first child, E! News exclusively confirms.

And as you might have guessed, these weren’t just any old store-bought invitations…

They arrived at their intended destinations in music boxes that, when opened, played Kanye’s tune, “Hey Mama,” the tribute track he wrote for his own mother, as a wind-up ballerina twirled.

Oh, brother. I don’t trust Kim and Kanye with any child, but I shudder to think of the future that baby Kimye has in front of her. Two egomaniacs for parents, one with serious delusions of grandeur and a problem with misplaced anger and the other nearly naked all the time without the sense God gave her. Therapists, wait by the phone.

P.S. Dem feet, tho.