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Kim Kardashian

9Kim Kardashian Needs You to Shut Up About The Whole Kris Humphries Thing

A photo of Kim Kardashian

“It’s like, so old news. I’m technically, like, legally married, and I’m like, pregnant, but some other, like, man got me pregnant. Like, not my husband. Like, yeah, ha, like, ha. Hilarious, guys. Like, so hilarious. Whatever.”

Ok, now just imagine that line said in a weird, drawn out, sort of nasally voice. That’s basically what this whole entire interview with Kim Kardashian is about.

She did an appearance on a radio show, along with Kourtney Kardashian, and of course everyone wanted to talk about her crazy situation. Here are some of the things that she said:

“He’s [Kris Humphries] … suing me for an annulment … He’s claiming that I [committed fraud] … Who would ever do that? It’s just not who I am. All those fake and fraud rumors got started because of that, and we have to deal with that and handle that.”

Oh, except all those “fake and fraud rumors” started about two seconds after her sex tape was “leaked.”  But who’s keeping track?

“I would have rather ended it when I felt that way, than waste a year of my life not being happy,” she says. “But for him, too. I knew the whole world was going to bash me. I knew that. I said to myself, ‘What’s more important? My life and my happiness, or what the whole world thinks of me?’ [Staying married] would be vain. That would be fake. That would be doing it for publicity.”

Well, her life and happiness need to do some serious thinking the next time they make a huge commitment so that they don’t change their minds a few weeks later.

“If anyone [only] knew all the fertility problems and the things that I was going through,” she says. “God brings you things at a time when you least expect it. I’m such a planner and this was just meant to be. What am I going to? Wait years to get a divorce? I’d love one.It’s a process.”

Wait, what?  How did she knew she was having all these fertility problems?  I thought that fertility problems only showed themselves when you were trying to get pregnant, is that right?  Unless she has some other condition that makes pregnancy hard, I think that means she tried to have a baby before?   I’m really not sure with this one, I’m just wondering when she would have found out about her fertility problems.

“I just don’t like all the jokes. Things ‘longer than Kim’s marriage.’ Technically I’m still married, so that joke doesn’t really work … Give it up, people.”

Uh, that doesn’t make it sound better, Kim.  You think you just gave yourself the upper hand, but you really, really didn’t.

January 17, 2013 at 5:30 am by Emily
Filed Under: Kim Kardashian

9Love It or Leave It: Kim Kardashian Is Just Wearing A Cape Now

A photo of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West

Kim Kardashian‘s fashion, it’s just … ugh. It’s gotten so, so bad. And I know it’s Kanye, but it’s just disappointing. Like, it kind of hurts.

Like this little ensemble she’s wearing in this photo. She’s wearing a f-cking cape. It just looks like a regular old hoodie with a bonus cape and baggy leggings. And peep toe booties. Because what the world needs now is more peep toe booties.

Here’s another shot:

A photo of Kim Kardashian

You guys, she’s wearing a cape. Do we really need to discuss this any further?

January 11, 2013 at 3:30 pm by Emily
Filed Under: Kim Kardashian

5Kris Humphries Is Giving Kim Kardashian A Major Sadface

A photo of Kim Kardashian

Also, that’s an outfit she wore the other day. Just to keep you in the loop.

From TMZ:

Kim Kardashian does not plan to tie the knot with Kanye West — at least not yet — but she is angry and frustrated that Kris Humphries is putting her in a position where she may have a baby with one man while still married to another.

Sources connected to Kim tell TMZ … she does not feel the need to marry Kanye, even though she’s having his baby.  But she does not want to be legally married to Kris Humphries when she gives birth.

Our sources say … Kim feels Kris is being “spiteful and vindictive” in dragging out the divorce — which has dragged on for nearly a year-and-a-half — for no reason.  We’re told with all the depositions and paperwork, there’s been no evidence presented by either side suggesting Kim defrauded Kris when she agreed to marry him.

Sources familiar with the situation tell TMZ … people in Kris’ life are now urging him to just settle and walk away.  But here’s the problem … Both sides have now incurred big attorney’s fees, and we’re told Kim believes so strongly Kris’ legal challenge is so bogus that she wants him to foot her lawyer’s bills.

If they can’t settle, the judge will set a trial date next month.  Kim’s lawyer, disso-queen Laura Wasser, estimates a trial would take a grand total of 1 day.  Kris’ lawyer thinks it’s more like 5 days, because he wants to put reality TV on trial.

Is it just me, or did Kris really drop the ball on this one? If Kim hadn’t gotten pregnant, then this whole divorce thing would be way boring. It’s just taken way, way too long, and I don’t think many people really care anymore. Not that a lot of people truly cared in the first place, but if Kris could have gotten this whole thing going right after Kim filed for divorce, then this would be intense. It’s kind of a major letdown, if we’re being honest. I mean, I’m not mad. I’m just disappointed.

Are you guys still going to keep an eye on this trial though?

January 9, 2013 at 4:30 am by Emily
Filed Under: Kim Kardashian

7BREAKING: Kim Kardashian Turns Down Money And Publicity

A photo of Kim Kardashian

I know, I’m freaking out too, but it’s true. Kim Kardashian, possessor of the golden fetus, is refusing to accept money in exchange for pictures of her baby after it’s born. Several magazines have offered Kim several million dollars to publish the very first photos of the baby, but Kim is saying no. Kim Kardashian is saying no to offers of money and fame. Maybe the Mayans fudged a little.

Ok, but here’s the thing: since Kim is in the early stages of cooking up that human, everybody knows that there’s still a while to go before a baby comes out. So as time goes on, and as Kim starts to show, the offers are going to keep coming, and she’s probably going to get offered even more money (one magazine offered $3 million already). BUT SHE DOESN’T WANT TO DO IT. Like, at all. She’s not holding out for more money, she just doesn’t want to sell the pictures, period.

Of course, all this could be coming from the Kardashian kamp (which is Kris Jenner in a tent in the backyard with a CB radio and a laptop). It could just be a way to make Kim look good while simultaneously encouraging higher offers in an attempt to convince her to change her mind. Anything is possible, you know.

January 7, 2013 at 4:30 am by Emily
Filed Under: Kim Kardashian

10Love It or Leave It: Kim Kardashian Is Already Screwing Up Maternity Fashion

A photo of Kim Kardashian

To be fair, I don’t think it really counts as maternity fashion if the lady wearing the outfit isn’t showing yet. So really, a more accurate title would probably be “Kim Kardashian Screws Up Fashion.”

Honestly, there’s just no excuse for this. This woman is 32 years old. Her body type isn’t new to her. She’s short and curvy, and if you don’t want that to translate to stumpy, there are some things you have to do. You could start with not wearing high waisted skirts with cropped blazers. Duh.

Since I went ahead and talked about the stupid cut of the outfit, do you think you guys could take over the rest? Like the sheer blouse and the dumb shoes. You could start with that.

January 6, 2013 at 10:00 am by Emily
Filed Under: Kim Kardashian

10Kim Kardashian Is Super Mad at Kris Humphries for Ruining Her Whole Entire Life

A photo of Kim Kardashian

How mad is she? SO mad! Like if there was some sort of universal scale to measure madness, her madness would probably be the most ever.

She’s angry, natch, because stupid old Kris Humphries still won’t give her a divorce. She wants to marry Kanye before she has their love child, but she can’t marry him because duh, stupid old Kris Humphries is being a meanie! You understand.

From Radar:

Pregnant reality TV star Kim Kardashian is venting to close friends that her estranged husband, Kris Humphries, is ruining her life because he is “hell bent on dragging her name through the mud by prolonging the divorce proceedings” and claims if not for the delay, she’d already be married to her baby daddy,Kanye West, by now, is exclusively reporting.

“Kim is seeing red because she is still legally married to Kris Humphries. Kim is overjoyed at the news that she is pregnant with Kanye’s baby, but she isn’t able to fully embrace it because of Kris. Kim feels that Kris is hell bent on dragging her name through the mud by prolonging the divorce proceedings,” a source close to the situation tells RadarOnline.comexclusively.

“Kim knows that she most likely will still be married to Kris when she gives birth to Kanye’s baby, and that absolutely sickens her. Kim has been pressuring her attorney, Laura Wasser, to get Humphries to sign off on the divorce, to no avail. Kris is holding the position that if Kim grants him an annulment on the grounds that the marriage was a sham, this whole thing ends. However, Kim won’t give in to his demands because it would damage her brand,” the insider added.

On Friday, February 15 – the day after Valentine’s Day – Kim and Kris’ divorce lawyers will be in court setting a date for the trial. The earliest the trial can be scheduled would be the middle of June to accommodate Kris’ basketball schedule. His team the Nets is now in second place in its division, and the play-offs don’t end until June. Kim, who’s 12 weeks pregnant, is due at the end of June.

But what do you think would “damage her brand” more: agreeing to the terms of the annulment or having Kanye’s kid while still married to Kris? And really, don’t you think that her brand is as hurt as it’s going to get? She got famous by starring in a sex tape where she got peed on and she had a wedding worth millions of dollars for a marriage that lasted 72 days. Would an annulment really be anyone’s final straw after all that?

January 5, 2013 at 12:00 pm by Emily
Filed Under: Kim Kardashian