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Kim Kardashian

7BREAKING: Kim Kardashian Turns Down Money And Publicity

A photo of Kim Kardashian

I know, I’m freaking out too, but it’s true. Kim Kardashian, possessor of the golden fetus, is refusing to accept money in exchange for pictures of her baby after it’s born. Several magazines have offered Kim several million dollars to publish the very first photos of the baby, but Kim is saying no. Kim Kardashian is saying no to offers of money and fame. Maybe the Mayans fudged a little.

Ok, but here’s the thing: since Kim is in the early stages of cooking up that human, everybody knows that there’s still a while to go before a baby comes out. So as time goes on, and as Kim starts to show, the offers are going to keep coming, and she’s probably going to get offered even more money (one magazine offered $3 million already). BUT SHE DOESN’T WANT TO DO IT. Like, at all. She’s not holding out for more money, she just doesn’t want to sell the pictures, period.

Of course, all this could be coming from the Kardashian kamp (which is Kris Jenner in a tent in the backyard with a CB radio and a laptop). It could just be a way to make Kim look good while simultaneously encouraging higher offers in an attempt to convince her to change her mind. Anything is possible, you know.

January 7, 2013 at 4:30 am by Emily
Filed Under: Kim Kardashian

10Love It or Leave It: Kim Kardashian Is Already Screwing Up Maternity Fashion

A photo of Kim Kardashian

To be fair, I don’t think it really counts as maternity fashion if the lady wearing the outfit isn’t showing yet. So really, a more accurate title would probably be “Kim Kardashian Screws Up Fashion.”

Honestly, there’s just no excuse for this. This woman is 32 years old. Her body type isn’t new to her. She’s short and curvy, and if you don’t want that to translate to stumpy, there are some things you have to do. You could start with not wearing high waisted skirts with cropped blazers. Duh.

Since I went ahead and talked about the stupid cut of the outfit, do you think you guys could take over the rest? Like the sheer blouse and the dumb shoes. You could start with that.

January 6, 2013 at 10:00 am by Emily
Filed Under: Kim Kardashian

10Kim Kardashian Is Super Mad at Kris Humphries for Ruining Her Whole Entire Life

A photo of Kim Kardashian

How mad is she? SO mad! Like if there was some sort of universal scale to measure madness, her madness would probably be the most ever.

She’s angry, natch, because stupid old Kris Humphries still won’t give her a divorce. She wants to marry Kanye before she has their love child, but she can’t marry him because duh, stupid old Kris Humphries is being a meanie! You understand.

From Radar:

Pregnant reality TV star Kim Kardashian is venting to close friends that her estranged husband, Kris Humphries, is ruining her life because he is “hell bent on dragging her name through the mud by prolonging the divorce proceedings” and claims if not for the delay, she’d already be married to her baby daddy,Kanye West, by now, RadarOnline.com is exclusively reporting.

“Kim is seeing red because she is still legally married to Kris Humphries. Kim is overjoyed at the news that she is pregnant with Kanye’s baby, but she isn’t able to fully embrace it because of Kris. Kim feels that Kris is hell bent on dragging her name through the mud by prolonging the divorce proceedings,” a source close to the situation tells RadarOnline.comexclusively.

“Kim knows that she most likely will still be married to Kris when she gives birth to Kanye’s baby, and that absolutely sickens her. Kim has been pressuring her attorney, Laura Wasser, to get Humphries to sign off on the divorce, to no avail. Kris is holding the position that if Kim grants him an annulment on the grounds that the marriage was a sham, this whole thing ends. However, Kim won’t give in to his demands because it would damage her brand,” the insider added.

On Friday, February 15 – the day after Valentine’s Day – Kim and Kris’ divorce lawyers will be in court setting a date for the trial. The earliest the trial can be scheduled would be the middle of June to accommodate Kris’ basketball schedule. His team the Nets is now in second place in its division, and the play-offs don’t end until June. Kim, who’s 12 weeks pregnant, is due at the end of June.

But what do you think would “damage her brand” more: agreeing to the terms of the annulment or having Kanye’s kid while still married to Kris? And really, don’t you think that her brand is as hurt as it’s going to get? She got famous by starring in a sex tape where she got peed on and she had a wedding worth millions of dollars for a marriage that lasted 72 days. Would an annulment really be anyone’s final straw after all that?

January 5, 2013 at 12:00 pm by Emily
Filed Under: Kim Kardashian

8Nobody Wants to Help Kim Kardashian Lose Her Baby Weight

A photo of Kim Kardashian

Shh, I know. Kim Kardashian is like 12 weeks pregnant, she doesn’t really have all that much baby weight. But she’s going to have some. She’s probably going to have a lot, since she’s so not afraid of plastic surgery. And when she does have it, nary a soul will offer her money to publicly lose it. So ha ha.

From TMZ:

Two major weight loss companies won’t touch Kim Kardashian’s “big fat ass” with a 10-foot pole … TMZ has learned they have zero interest in signing the pregnant celeb to a Jessica Simpson type deal.

Reps for Jenny Craig and Medifast tell TMZ they won’t be be helping Kim K shed her post-baby weight — and their reason, ironically enough, is the reality TV star isn’t real enough.

Medifast said its not looking for any celeb endorsements — but Jenny Craig was more specific, telling us they’re … focusing on “real results for real women” this year.

Interestingly, JC’s rep added, “We will continue our working relationship with Mariah Carey.”

Of course we don’t know if Kim’s even looking for a new weight loss deal … she endorsed Quick Trim last year.

That’s understandable though, I think. When Kim steps out an hour after she had her baby looking thinner than she’s ever been, nobody’s going to think that she worked for it. That’s just the way things are. Kim Kardashian is not so likable, probably has fake body parts, and fibs about it, whereas Jessica Simpson is very, very likable, doesn’t have any fake body parts that I know of, and did I mention she’s completely likable? If you had to see someone get lots and lots of money for losing weight, which would would you pick? It just makes sense.

Meanwhile, did you know that this kid is legally assumed to be Kim and Kris Humphries‘? It’s because they’re married. So if Kris wants to push the issue, like it he wants to be catty about it, then Kim has to prove that Kanye fathered that fetus. Can you imagine? Let’s start tweeting him!

January 3, 2013 at 5:30 am by Emily
Filed Under: Kim Kardashian

7Quotables: Rob Kardashian Thinks He Is Better Than His Sisters

A photo of Rob Kardashian

“I’m so proud of my sisters, but I’ll be married before I have a baby.”

- Rob Kardashian discusses his own plans of parenthood, forgets about the time that he knocked up some girl who later had a miscarriage.

See, this is interesting for a couple reasons. For one, whatever, Rob Kardashian. That bit about the miscarriage is true, by the way: he hooked up with some girl, some random casual thing, and he didn’t use protection, and she got pregnant. It was on Khloe and Lamar even. So that seems kind of an insensitive comment, doesn’t it?

And we all know that Kourtney has two kids with her dude, and even though they’re not married, and even though her dude is kind of an asshole, they’re still in a committed relationship. It’s really not that big a deal.

But we all also know that Rob said this as a comment on Kim’s pregnancy, and because of that, his comment just doesn’t make any sense. As the lovely commenter Mercy (hey, lady!) explained, Kim is married. Like, duh! The baby isn’t going to be born out of wedlock (side note: will that make Kris Humphries the baby’s stepfather?)! Everything’s fine!

Man, 2013 looks so cool from here.

January 2, 2013 at 2:30 pm by Emily

9Quotables: Kim Kardashian Says Pregnancy is Hard, Guys

photo of kim kardashian pregnancy pictures photos

I take lots of naps. Actually I feel really good. This New Year is just about being happy and healthy and that’s what I plan on doing. I wouldn’t say that pregnancy has been easy but there’s been no morning sickness. When people say pregnancy is fun and they love it, I would disagree. I think from this stage on it does become easier and funner but it’s just adjusting. … Even my sister has made it look so easy and it’s not as easy as people think. It’s a little painful, there’s a lot of growing pains. But I’ve heard it’s all worth it so I’m looking forward to that. I’m craving sushi, but I know I can’t really have it, so I’m eating a lot of carrots and celery with lots of ranch.

Kim Kardashian on what a huge, huge change carrying a fetus inside of her body is from the days of getting peed on … but wait, wait for it—she’s probably going to have to get re-used to that whole peeing-on thing in a few short months because, yes, babies. That’s what they do.

Funny thing is, Kim is allegedly around twelve weeks pregnant, and I’m all sorts of concerned that even up until last week, she was wearing clothes like this:

photo of kim kardashian pregnant pictures
How can that even be comfortable at eleven weeks along? That little tiny bulge in Kim’s midsection? Is that a fetus foot I see? It’s no wonder she’s feeling a bit out of sorts—oxygen deprivation will do that to you, and gosh, imagine what it probably does to a poor, unborn baby. Crazy things happening all over the place, guys, but heck. At least we have lots of ranch. Thank God for small favors!

January 2, 2013 at 5:30 am by Sarah
Filed Under: Kim Kardashian