I know that airlines are being jerks about how much their passenger’s luggage weighs, but how much the actual passengers weigh? I didn’t think we were there yet.

Director Kevin Smith had quite the example made of himself on a Southwest flight the other day. He was told, when he was already buckled in to his seat aboard the plane, that his weight was a safety issue and that they’d have to put him on another flight. One outlet that covered the story reported the following:

According to Smith, a flight attendant told him the flight captain had deemed him a safety risk and requested that he leave the flight.

“I broke no regulation, offered no ‘safety risk,’ (what, was I gonna roll on a fellow passenger?),” he wrote. “I’m way fat… But I’m not THERE just yet.”

Smith’s followers (numbering more than 1.6 million) flooded Twitter with support for the filmmaker and insults for Southwest Airlines’ official Twitter page.

Ugh. I am not exactly crazy about Kevin Smith, but this has to be humiliating for the guy. Do you think that airlines, in order to prevent embarrassments like this in the future, should try to make arrangements for any possible situations like this in advance?

The dude who’s been on Scrubs forever and wrote and starred in Garden State, Zach Braff is not too happy that his home state is now being associated with hilariously crappy MTV reality show, Jersey Shore. Apparently Zach feels like the state has just survived being associated with the mob for the rest of eternity because of The Sopranos, and said to Jimmy Kimmel Tuesday night, ”Jersey had a chance to be known for something else, and here comes Snooki.” (Side note: I would like to encourage you to read Snooki’s “biography” on MTV.com even if you’ve never seen the show. It’s pretty delish.)

While I understand that Zach doesn’t want New Jersey to be forever associated with orange, muscular drunks with anger management issues, I have to ask him this: Are lovey dovey romcoms about crazy families and Manic Pixie Dream Girls set to the sounds of all things “indie” really that much better? I’d have to say that long before Zach tried to make a deep cultural impact on all of us with what it means to be from New Jersey, there was someone doing it in a slightly less annoying manner than him. (I said “slightly”.) At least Kevin Smith movies were awesome when you were 15 and didn’t make you cry and feel like you’d die alone when you were 22. Just sayin’.

(the language in this clip may be NSFW if you work at a boring place. Sorry.)

I’m 37 years old and I’ve never smoked pot.  Believe me, this isn’t the result of some Nancy Reagan pledge I took in the eighth grade.  I just refuse to utilize any substance that makes me have the munchies more than I do every day in my unaltered state.

A Pair of Dicks movie director Kevin Smith — you may remember that he’s the one Jennifer Garner hated – was never much of a stoner.  That is, until he hung out with Seth Rogen last summer.  Now he’s doling out advice to our leaders of tomorrow that basically translates to:  ”Smoke!”

The king of stoner moviemakers, Kevin Smith, never really smoked much marijuana until Seth Rogen talked him into it last summer, he says. Now he sparks up at least three times a day and credits pot for helping him to dig his way out of a creative slump.

Not the sort of advice responsible parents, doctors or educators are likely to embrace, Smith told The Post’s Don Kaplan, “I know you’re supposed to tell kids not to do drugs, but, kids, do it! Do weed! Don’t do the other stuff, but weed is good . . . What you want to do is what I did, build a movie empire and, at age 38, smoke it all away.

…Now, thanks to a steady diet of marijuana, Smith says he’s moved on to greener pastures — writing a new “Batman” comic and directing films he didn’t write, including the upcoming cop buddy flick, “A Pair of Dicks,” with Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan.  Smith says he’s “just not good” at directing his own stories anymore: “Judd Apatow is way better at being Kevin Smith now than Kevin Smith ever was. So Judd Apatow should do it for a while, and I should figure out something else, and weed has been [bleeping] helpful with that.”

Shit, I’ve been missing out on so much potential creativity by taking this whole sober stance.  I plan to start sparking up immediately to see if it will help me be able to do pottery.  I’ve always wanted to throw a pot; maybe inhaling some is the place to start. Mmm … Fritos!

This was kind of a win/win situation for the producers of Zack and Miri Make a Porno.

Scenario 1: The MPAA approves this promo poster, and everybody writes about it.
Scenario 2: The MPAA does not approve this promo poster, and everybody writes about it.

“When you’ve got the word ‘porno’ in the title, naturally, the marketing materials are gonna be scrutinized more closely by the MPAA,” says the director, Kevin Smith. “I understand they’ve got a job to do, but c’mon…this image isn’t that dirty; they’re both fully clad.”

The poster was, however, approved for use in Canada.

“I’ve always loved Canada and Canadians for giving us hockey,” says Smith. “Now, I love ‘em just a little bit more. For allowing tufts of hair.”

Oh, and just so you don’t have to tear your hair out trying to figure out where you’ve seen Elizabeth Banks — besides in a Kevin Smith flick — she played that doctor chick that Zach Braff knocked up on Scrubs.