Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Kerri Strug

Jesus Christ, Kerri Strug is 32 Years Old (Also, She Got Married This Weekend)

Why does watching this footage from the 1996 Olympics suddenly make me feel like Mary Lou Retton’s up next on uneven bars?

Like, seriously, was this so long ago that Kerri Strug is actually 32 years old now? Does that make Alicia Sacramone 45? I AM SO CONFUSED. And sooooo hopelessly old.

Kerri and her ankle got married on Sunday to Robert William Fischer III. The nuptials took place in Tucson, Arizona, which I described to a friend today as “the place that hope goes to die.” Here’s a quick run-down on what happened in Kerri’s life once it was pried from Bela Karolyi’s grip:

The bride, 32, is a project manager for the Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention in Washington. She graduated from Stanford, from which she also received a master’s degree in sociology. She is a daughter of Melanie B. Strug and Dr. Burt Strug of Tucson. The bride’s father, a retired cardiovascular surgeon, had a private practice there.

The bridegroom, also 32, is a lawyer working in the Washington Congressional office of Representative Lamar Smith, a Republican of Texas and the ranking member on the house judiciary committee. Mr. Fischer graduated from the University of California, Berkeley, and received a law degree from Arizona State University [Ed: GO SUN DEVILS!!!].

“We met for drinks in Washington, just a block from my office, and had a very enjoyable conversation,” Ms. Strug recalled. “He seemed to be a very good listener, and we had a lot in common. He had family in Arizona, which is where I’m from, and we are both rather conservative politically.”

Shortly after that first date, Ms. Strug traveled to Beijing to work with Olympic sponsors, and when she returned in mid-August, she found flowers from Mr. Fischer waiting for her.

“That was pretty awesome,” Ms. Strug recalled. “It’s nice to know someone is thinking of you.”

Ms. Strug, who acknowledged “not dating much and living a sheltered life” during her gymnastics career, said that she felt an immediate connection with Mr. Fischer. “I don’t believe in love at first sight, but I was very attracted to him,” she remembered. “My entire adolescence was geared toward one thing: gymnastics. It’s like I was living in this big gymnastics bubble. I never went to my high school dance, and didn’t date much, so my criteria for dating men was really just put together in theory, not practice.”

I wonder if her new hubby ever makes her dress up in her old gymnastics outfit so he can carry her around on a fake-injured ankle like Bela and then throw her on the bed and pound her while she bravely smiles and waves to the crowd. Because, like, that’s totally what I would do if I were dating Kerri Strug.