Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Kelly Ripa

Perfect Couple

Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos are the most adorable couple ever. I’ve basically convinced myself that Kelly Ripa is my big sister and that my mother is going to approach me eventually and let me know about the child she put up for adoption when she was 16 who now happens to be Kelly Ripa. I idolize her. Like, you know how old people are...

Brangelina Treated Like Normal Human Beings by a Gym

Brad and Angelina are forced to exercise amongst the unwashed masses, despite their earnest pleas to be spared such indignity. Just what Kelly Ripa needs: another television show. I bet Dane Cook and Jessica Simpson have really deep pillow talk. “I know many consider Thus Spoke Zarathustra to be Nietzsche’s most important work, Jess...