Russell Brand is getting lots of material out of his marriage to Katy Perry. On his new comedy tour, he’s got some real zingers in there. You know, the whole “monogamy is so hard” bit. From Daily News:
…the funny-man joked that after his divorce he considered becoming a monk. “When you’re a monk, you’re not allowed to have sex with anyone,” Brand reportedly said. “When you’re married, it’s one person. That’s one more than a monk. It’s not that different.”
To the 38-year-old comedian being married to one person is apparently no different than being celibate. He went on to quip that he would often have to fantasize about other women.
“I’d be having sex thinking, ‘think of anyone, anyone else.’”
Katy Perry made it very clear that she’s moved on from her candyland technicolor dream world of her “Teenage Dream” album/tour/persona. In her latest video, a teaser for her upcoming single, she’s going somewhere darker. Literally. In the promo for her single “Roar” (out August 12), Ms. Perry, in dark lipstick and surrounded by total darkness, holds up her signature blue wig and sets it on fire. The whole thing is very The Craft, but also reminds me of Lana Del Rey‘s look and feel.
Could this next era in Katy’s career be a little less sunshine and rainbows and a lot more drama and Del Rey? Let’s just hope they don’t start a feud.
Though it seemed pretty obvious that there was nothing going on between Rob Pattinson and Katy Perry, we can all rest easy now as Katy confirmed that she and Rob aren’t lovers, but more like gross buddies. As Ms. Perry told ELLE UK via Hollywood Life:
He’s my bud, I’m his big sister. We just hang out. [...] OK, so here’s the proof there was nothing was ever going on with me and Robert Pattinson. I fart in front of him. Properly fart. And I never fart in front of a man I am dating. That’s a rule.
Yeah, solid “proof.” Thanks for that, Katy. She also admits that she finds the actor attractive, but has never acted on it. She told him,
One of the things I’m most proud of is not sleeping with you, Robert.
Uhhh I get what she means but this one she probably should have kept to herself.
As for her current love life, Perry appears to be not farting in front of John Mayer, which is a terrible choice.
Or ‘Roar’. We’re all excited for Katy Perry‘s new music, right? And no, I’m not being sarcastic. Teenage Dream was an AMAZING album and I’m really excited to see what she’s going to come up with next, because that was a hard one to top. Of course her new single would be called ‘Roar’ or ‘Rawr’ – it just seems to fit. Of course, that might not actually be the case, but that’s the story going around. Katy’s longtime producer Dr. Luke also added to the “suspense” by tweeting the following:
Right, so all we really know so far is that her single starts with an R, her album is called Prism and you should take a picture of the trucks with her promo on them. That’s not very much. Here are some other R-titles that her single could be:
I did a lot of my own prepping. I kind of went on a cleanse… I did a lot of stuff like vitamins and supplements, I changed my coffee to green tea, I didn’t drink any alcohol for three months. So I was really in the zone and just really wanted to be glowing for that cover.
I think it’s kind of funny that she said she “did” vitamins, as opposed to “taking” them — yeah, vitamins, that’s the hard stuff, Katy! Nothing about this sounds like anything crazy, certainly nothing on an Aniston or Paltrow level, but not drinking for 3 months to do a magazine shoot sounds f-cking insane to me. Then again, not drinking for a week also sounds insane to me. I mean, it wouldn’t if I had a photoshoot the next week, but if it wasn’t for the next 3 months…they photoshop everything to hell anyway!
Mr. Mayer and Ms. Perry were hanging out in a guitar store when they met some teenage fans. Nice celebs would pose for a photo or give an autograph, but John Mayer went even further. From The Daily News:
Julie Fermin, 16, happened to be in the SoHo store at the same time as the famous couple and had her eye on an expensive guitar she could not afford. Mayer then stepped in and purchased the instrument for her as a gift.
That was really, really nice of him. No sarcasm.
So congratulations, John Mayer. For a few hours in July of 2013, you were not a total douche.