Her name is Katie Cassidy, she’s David Cassidy‘s daughter and she most recently starred in Michael Bay’s remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street, which, if I’m being completely honest was the absolute balls. And I, uh, mean that in a good way.

Since the snooty Fox decided that Transformers was beneath her and wanted to stretch her legs (and nude scenes) in her upcoming indie film, Passion Play, producers for the Transformers franchise didn’t want to waste any time or effort in replacing the “irreplaceable” star, and didn’t find it all that hard to do so, either. A source close to the production dishes:

“Michael worked with Katie on A Nightmare On Elm Street and he sees her as the perfect choice. Megan was unknown when she was cast in the first Transformers and Katie is in that same mold. She even looks a little like Megan — only blonde.”

I’m kind of hoping that this entire “I’m a serious actress!” thing blows up in Megan’s face … I mean, without Michael Bay at her back, she’s probably going to continue to do low-budget indie movies that will end up on the dusty bottom rack of a second-rate movie rental store — if these movies even make it that far, at any rate.

I got scared when I saw this photo of Jenna Elfman on the People’s Choice Awards red carpet. Don’t get me wrong, human pregnancy is a wonderful, beautiful thing … that scares the beejezus out of me. This photo screams the word “ADOPT.” Why do pregnant women have to look so distended? I look at this and it just doesn’t seem healthy. That’s okay. There are little orphans in Russia who will need my parenting one day. I think adopting is better anyway, especially from a foreign country. When you conceive and birth a child vaginally, she can be all like “You brought me into this world and so now you have to deal with my temper tantrums and my methamphetamine use and my late-night car sex with my much older, bearded, creepy boyfriend.” When they’re adopted you can always just be like, “Would you rather be in a Russian orphanage than inside doing your math homework? Someone would probably be raping you right now. Bet you wouldn’t be so fond of the creepy beard then. ”

Also, Cobra Starship has a gang sign. I know this because lead singer Gabe Saporta flashed it on the red carpet. Get it? One hand is the cobra and the other hand is the starship. Um, Evil Beet needs a gang sign you guys, like, ASAP. If you have ideas, email me the photo of you flashing it. We’re coming up with something.

Oh, Hayley Williams of Paramore. I think you’re one of the most talented young musicians coming up right now, but I cannot wait until you outgrow the “I need to be weird to be cool” phase. You’re a pretty girl. Stop un-doing that.

And Katie Cassidy. I understand that I’m supposed to hate you. I do not. I look forward to your red carpet photos and always think you’re beautiful and well-dressed. I hate myself a little for that, but it’s true. Plus you’re rocking the over-the-shoulder side braid that practically brought me to tears of joy on Rachel McAdams. I wear my hair like that all the time now. I’m wearing it like that in my new Facebook photo. I just wish it were longer so it could look that beautiful! (Do they do clip-in side braids?)

A billion other photos from the red carpet are in the gallery below. The Glee kids were there, which makes me happy. I don’t know who won. I don’t especially care. Maybe Molly will come on later and tell you, and maybe she won’t. I don’t expect many of you care, and everyone on Twitter said the actual awards show sucked. It’s all about the dresses, baby! (And the gang signs.)

I am entirely loving this look Katie Cassidy rocked at the Hollywood Style Awards on Sunday night. I think every part of it works, and I am COMPLETELY obsessing on the hair, and I really feel she knocked it out of the ballpark with this ensemble.

You know who probably loved it less? Selena Gomez, who went with something similar in concept but less edgy, and looked downright frumpy in comparison to Katie:

Also there: Hayden Panettiere (bored), Pamela Anderson (drunk), Lauren Conrad (blonde) and Kelly Osbourne (blonder).

Katie Cassidy — who turned 21 late last month — showed up to the Foley + Corinna Los Angeles store opening, along with Nicky Hilton, Kristen Cavallari and, my personal fave, Marla Sokoloff (Remember when she was on Full House? Anyone?).

Katie was arrested for underage drinking last month, just days before her 21st birthday.

I cannot wait to see what happens with this girl now that she’s legal.

Ahhhhh ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!

It’s the Cassidy curse. Sometimes fame isn’t all that fun, honey.

I love this story because, when police asked her about her age, she gave them a fake name and said she was 21. They then asked her what her birthday was. “4-29-84,” she responded. That would have made her 23. When the police pointed this out to her, she admitted her real name and age. Katie, you suck at lying to the cops. You have to have this stuff down pat. I offer seminars on the third Tuesday of the month if you’re interested.

Her BAC was .16, twice the legal limit. Ouch!

This is my favorite part: When Katie’s mom was contacted, she wanted to know “what could be done,” since her daughter was a “high-profile” actress. (High profile my ass!) When a cop replied that the arrested performer would have to appear in court to answer misdemeanor charges (minor in possession and false reporting to a law enforcement agent), Cassidy’s mother explained that her daughter “didn’t have time to come back to court.”

Ha ha ha ha. She’ll have to make time. She’s due back in December.