Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Kanye West

Kim Kardashian Says She Doesn’t Like Junk Food, Only Craves “Carrots and Celery”

kim kardashian

Kim Kardashian pretty much gets shit on a daily basis for putting on so much weight during her pregnancy, which is ridiculous and stupid because hello, she’s having a baby and second of all, who in the hell is anyone to tell a woman off because she doesn’t fit society’s example of the sexy, curvaceous, ogle-worthy woman she’s supposed to be? Ugh, don’t even get me started on this (and besides, Jezebel does it better).

However, I do think it’s pretty sad that for some reason or other, Kim can’t just be like, “Yeah, I’m chillin’ with a pack of Oreos and some KFC three nights a week – I’ll work my ass off to lose it when I have the baby but for now, who cares?” Instead, she says dumb shit, like that she’s super upset that she just doesn’t like junk food and instead craves carrots and celery. Oooookay.

From E! News:

“I just don’t crave any of the junk food that I used to eat normally and that really is upsetting to me,” Kardashian told E! News. “I thought I was going to be home eating like McDonald’s and Taco Bell and ice cream—can’t eat any of it.”

“I mean, all the magazine’s say I’m like 500 pounds,” she jokes. “I crave carrots and celery with ranch,” she revealed. “I have to have that once a day, and protein bars.”

No, just stop the madness. Girl, you have put on a bit of weight since getting pregnant, and it’s not all in your stomach. That’s not “carrots and celery” weight, that’s 20-piece McNuggets and a large fries weight, if you feel me. Is there any shame in that game? Hell no (so long as you’re actually eating the carrots and celery and other healthy things for the growing person inside of you to do so correctly, that is). But there’s no reason to go over the top with blatant lies about it, because then you just look sad. Real sad.

Anyway, for all y’all thinking that Kanye isn’t appreciating Kim being large and in charge, think again – he apparently loves it!

“It’s just such an exciting thing, I think, for the guys to see our bodies go through all these different changes,” she explained. “He loves it and just embraces it. And he’s helped me to really feel sexy and embrace it.”

Awww, Kim! He’s such a great guy – you’re so lucky that you have a dude who might even deign to hold your hand as you push this kid out of your vagina if it means his progeny is here sooner. I just can’t anymore.

Kanye West Can’t Wait to Be Kim Kardashian’s Baby Daddy

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In today’s edition of “No Shit, Sherlock”, Kanye West apparently can’t wait to be a dad to the creature due to crawl out of Kim Kardashian‘s nether regions in just a few months’ time.

From Showbiz Spy:

“Kanye is going to do everything he needs to do to make sure Kim delivers his baby,” a source said.

“So if that means he has to go to classes and help her breathe, he’s going to be there. If he has to hold her hand and she squeezes the hell out of it, he’s going to be one hand short. If he has to cut the cord, he’s going to cut it.

“He’s going to do everything in his power to make this birth for his girl and their baby as smooth as possible. No doubt, he’s looking forward to it all.”

Someone needs to explain how childbirth works to Kanye, because Kim’s invariably going to have the baby regardless of whether Kanye goes nuts with preparation or sits on his ass sewing new skirts or whatever.  Also, I love how him holding her hand while she’s in labor is something he’ll do if he “has to”. What a charmer. These two idiots deserve each other.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West Are Getting Matching “Commitment Tattoos”

kim kardashian kanye west

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are absolute self-obsessed idiots – and therefore perfect for one another – so I don’t really have a problem with the idea of them getting matching commitment tattoos. Besides, I suppose it’s better than another televised sham wedding, eh?

From The Daily Star:

The pair, who are expecting their first child in June, have been to famous LA tattoo parlour Shamrock Social.

We’re told: “They’ll have each other’s names tattooed, leaving a big space for the baby’s name, so they all intertwine.”

Aw, isn’t that sweet – there’ll even be room for little Kimye. Though I have to wonder what the hold up is and why they’d need to visit the tattoo parlor first and plan all this out if they’re just having their names done. It only takes 15 minutes max to look through the font handbook – been there, done that.

Justin Timberlake “Absolutely Loves” Kanye West, Which Means He Hates Him

justin timberlake kanye west

Never has a music feud been so goddamn boring as when Kanye West and Justin Timberlake started being at odds. Now now, lads, there’s enough of Jay-Z‘s friendship to go around. After Kanye told a crowd in London earlier this month that he “ain’t f-ckin’ with that ‘Suit & Tie’,” JT responded by changing the lyrics in the song during his performance on SNL last weekend to something about rappers being dramatic because his “hit’s so sick”. I mean, whatever and all, but I just yawned while typing that entire paragraph.

After taking his shot at Kanye, JT decided he couldn’t put his money where his mouth was and decided to backpedal during an appearance on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon when he was asked about the performance, saying, “I don’t remember that. Did I change a line? It is live. You know really, everyone keep calm. Let me say, for the record. I absolutely love Kanye, so there’s that. We love Kanye right? Did the lyrics change? I don’t remember.”

Ugh, this bitch. Playing the amnesia card is the corniest thing ever. I don’t even understand what’s got him shook, at this point. After all, what’s Kanye going to do, beat you with his crocodile skin scarf or whatever the hell it is he wears? These two need to just stop.

Justin Timberlake Disses Kanye On SNL

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Kanye West let the world know that he isn’t a fan of Justin Timberlake‘s Suit & Tie collaboration with Jay-Z. It looks like Mr. Timberlake hit back with a subtle and smooth jab at dear Mr. West.

The Huffington Post (and many others) pointed out that during Mr. Timberlake’s performance of Suit & Tie last night on Saturday Night Live, he changed the line “Shit so sick got a hit and picked up a habit” to “My hit’s so sick got rappers acting dramatic.”

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Nice job, Justin! A very classy dig. In terms of music though, I still prefer Kanye. Yeah, I went there. It’s Sunday, I don’t care.

Watch it:

And then picture Kanye’s reaction, which was probably something like this:

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Kanye West Thinks You Don’t Like Him Because He Wears Skirts

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Kanye West has really felt the stigma of being a skirt-wearing rapper in the past, and now he thinks it’s gone beyond teasing and actually started to affect public opinion of him. After MTV released its Hottest MC In The Game list and placed Yeezy in a paltry 7th place, he rang up Hot 97 to put a stop to the madness and stand up against skirt-haters everywhere.

“I feel like in order for them to put me as number seven they had to bring up things they didn’t like. They didn’t like the Cruel Summer album. And I’m like, ‘That’s a compilation! It ain’t all rappers on G.O.O.D. Music!’”

“Possibly it could just be like overall rap MC swag, you know what I’m saying?” he said.

“What happens is with them, with these type of judges and people who review it, when you come in, I have the pink polo and the backpack, then I’m checking all the boxes – that Tribe Called Quest era and J Dilla and all that, you know, so they want to champion it.

“They don’t like Givenchy Kanye. They don’t like Kanye in a kilt. They don’t like Kanye in a relationship [with Kim Kardashian].”

Maybe they just don’t like Kanye, full stop. Ever think of that one? I think Kanye is a great producer and has had some really good music, but also, there’s nothing worse than a sore loser who feels the need to publicly comment on losing by making excuses for why he didn’t land in the number one spot. Newsflash: it’s not because of the kilt, and probably not because you knocked up Kim K, either. Most likely it’s just because you were at the top of your game in 2006 and now, in 2013, you’ve got some serious competition and need to step up your game.

Kanye West Wants At Least Six Kids With Kim Kardashian

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Well, it’s a good thing Kim Kardashian has found some comfortable maternity pants, because if Kanye West has anything to do with it, she’ll need to wear them for at least 54 months of her life as she gives birth to the six children he wants.

From Now:

She hasn’t even given birth to his first child yet, but Kanye West’s told girlfriend Kim Kardashian that he wants six kids!

A source tells Now the rapper, 35, is determined to have a family ‘as big as Kim’s’.

‘Kanye grew up as an only child and the Kardashians have been a revelation to him,’ says our insider.

‘He wants his kid to have loads of siblings, so he’s told Kim not to get cosy with just one baby.

‘He’d like them to keep making babies until they have at least six.’

However, pals are worried Kim, 32, who’s four months gone, won’t be able to cope with five more pregnancies.

‘He’s scared the hell out of her,’ says our source.

‘She’s already terrified of what’s happening to her body.

‘Kanye doesn’t care and he’s doing everything in his power to convince her that he’ll love her no matter what her body looks like.’

LOL, I love the idea of Kim being “terrified” by pregnancy. She doesn’t even have the first one out and he already wants to knock her up with five more! The sad part is, she totally seems like the type to go through with it to keep him happy. Plus, let’s be honest, they have so much money between them that she can pop them out and hand them off to hired help.