Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Kanye West

Kanye West calls himself “the smartest fucking celebrity you’ve ever dealt with”

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Nothing like some serious delusions of grandeur to brighten up your Wednesday. This time around, it’s from Kanye West (but when isn’t it?) and comes in the form of some of his testimony from that assault case with the photographer at LAX.

TMZ got a hold of the tape of Kanye’s testimony and oh man, it’s a doozy:

Kanye explains to Nate Goldberg, the photog’s lawyer, “I’m in the business of trying to make dope s**t for the world.  You’re in the business of representing scums and trying to make as much money as long as there’s this lapse in the law.”
Goldberg grills Kanye about his song, “Flashing Lights,” — a rant against the paparazzi.  Goldberg quotes from the song, “Till I get flashed by the paparazzi, damn, these ni**as got me.”

At that point Kanye interrupts, “You have to ask for a hall pass.  You can’t just say the ‘n’ word around me.” adding, “It offends me because you’re a white person saying ‘ni**a.’”

Kanye says there’s a parallel between blacks fighting for civil rights in the ’60s and celebs fighting for theirs today:  “I mean in the ’60s people used to hold up ‘Die N****r’ signs when my parents were in the sit-ins also.”   Goldberg asks if he equates the struggle of blacks in the past with celebrities today and Kanye says, “Yes, 100 … I equate it to discrimination.  I equate it to inequalities.”

Kanye goes on, “We, as group of minorities here in L.A., as celebrities have to ban together to influence guys like this — guys trying to take the picture, guys trying to get the big win, guys trying to get the check.”

The depo is riddled with Kanye’s sarcasm.  When Goldberg asks where he lives, Kanye replies, “Earth.”

LOL, I love that Kanye is getting mad that a white lawyer is questioning him about a lyric from his own song. The lawyer isn’t calling you that word, nor is he using it in general conversation. He is literally quoting from something you wrote – calm down. Oh, and the other quote not listed above? “I’m the smartest fucking celebrity you’ve ever dealt with. I’m not Britney Spears.”

Uh… I don’t think anyone could ever be confused about that. I seriously have never seen narcissism and delusion in such a high concentration as it appears in Kanye West. This guy thinks he’s God’s gift to planet earth, and I’m not quite sure who gave him that idea.

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Kanye West has a special guest in the studio

kanye west north west

Okay, as much as I can’t stand her parents, you have to admit that little North West is absolutely adorable. And she’s getting so big! Kim Kardashian posted this photo of his special guest with Kanye West in the studio online over the weekend in an attempt to prove that he and Kim do actually spend time with their child. I do have a slight concern that poor North never seems to be smiling, but would you?

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Kim Kardashian is a dinosaur, Kanye West is a blowfish

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Don’t worry if you were as confused at reading that headline as I was writing it – it’s to be expected, considering who we’re talking about here. In Kanye West‘s new GQ profile, he spouts a lot of bullshit. Par for the course, right? But here’s something you probably didn’t expect: in the interview, he compares Kim Kardashian to a dinosaur (“in a good way”) and himself to a blowfish. I’ll let you read and enjoy:

Why’d you decide to get married?
Saying “Hey, I like Kim” isn’t as inspiring to people as us getting married. And anyone that’s in a relationship knows that in order to get to the point to get married and then to be married and to then carry on, it needs that work put into it. Right now, people look at it and it’s like, “Wow, that’s inspiring.” Meaning that love is infectious. You know, God is infectious—God flowing through us and us being little-baby creators and shit. But His energy and His love and what He wants us to have as people and the way He wants us to love each other, that is infectious. Like they said in Step Brothers: Never lose your dinosaur. This is the ultimate example of a person never losing his dinosaur. Meaning that even as I grew in cultural awareness and respect and was put higher in the class system in some way for being this musician, I never lost my dinosaur.

Kim is this girl who fucking turns me on. I love her. This is who I want to be next to and be around. And then people would try to say, “Well, you know, if you’re a musician, you should be with a musician, and if you want to design, you need to be with a girl from the design world.” I don’t give a fuck about people’s opinions. Because when a kid falls in love with an airplane or a bike or a dinosaur—especially if you’re an only child and it’s not because of the book that the sibling was reading—it’s like, fuck, you mean to tell me that the dinosaurs walked the earth and stuff like that?! That’s amazing! You mean to tell me that these giant multi-ton crafts can fly that fast and that loud, and they can flip, and there’s danger, the possibility of them exploding? That’s fucking cool! You mean to tell me that this girl with this fucking body and this face is also into style, and she’s a nice person, and she has her own money and is family-oriented? That’s just as cool as a fucking fighter jet or dinosaur! And just as rarely seen.

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA Sorry, I just had to interrupt for that. Kim is as cool as fighter jets and dinosaurs? I just… sorry, I’ll let you continue.

Does that kind of mockery feel like an effort to de-fang you?
But also, there’s no fangs. I don’t have fangs. I’m a porcupine. I’m a blowfish. Like, I’m a—what’s the fish that blows up?

A blowfish?
Yeah. I’m a blowfish. I’m not a shark, I’m a blowfish. So that perfect example about me hitting my head, it’s like a blowfish. I wasn’t coming out of my house going to a paparazzi’s house to attack them. I’m defending my family in front of my own house. I’m defending my name as someone’s screaming something negative at me. That’s a blowfish. People have me pinned as a shark or a predator in some way, and in no way am I that. I wouldn’t want to hurt anyone. I want to defend people. I want to help people.

Whatever, man. I’m always rendered speechless when I hear/read/see what comes out of this guy’s mouth. It’s a whole new level of insanity.

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Kanye West compares paparazzi photos to rape

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Kanye West went on an interminable 20-minute rant onstage at the Wireless Festival in London on Friday night, and during that time he said some crazy ass shit. Sure, he pronounced his long-standing love for Kim Kardashian and claimed that he’s being discriminated against in the fashion industry, but know what else he did? Complain about fame to the point of comparing paparazzi photos to being raped. You know, totally the same thing!

From The Independent:

“I want to bring my family to the movies without 30 motherfuckers following me. Everybody here, they like sex right? Sex is great when you and your partner are like, ‘Hey, this is what we both want to do’.

“But if one of those people don’t want to do that, what is that called? That’s called rape. That is called violation.”

“So if I walk around and say look sir, I’m not feeling so good today, I need some space, can you please not fuck with me today? I need cut-off space, not violation.”

West said that he would “stop every paparazzi one by one” if he wasn’t on probation, adding: “One week I told a paparazzi, ‘Stop talking to me – I might be thinking of something like a new stage show, a new design. You want to shove a camera in my face, you just fucked up my whole trail of thought.”

Zzzzzzzz… I’m so fucking bored of this guy. If Kanye had ever ACTUALLY been raped, I guarantee you he’d be begging for paparazzi to take photos of him in exchange for erasing that experience from his life. THEY ARE NOT THE SAME THING. No one is physically touching you or violating your body, no one is scarring you for life, no one is overpowering you. You can’t bear paparazzi being in your face? Get a fucking clue – move out of Los Angeles, get a farm in Nebraska or some shit and stay out of the limelight. Don’t marry someone whose entire existence revolves around the paparazzi and being seen and photographed by them 24 hours a day. Fuck off, man.

Oh, and if that wasn’t enough, he went on a SECOND rant on Saturday night on stage – that one, however, only lasted 5 minutes. Apparently the crowd started chanting “We want Drake!” during his bullshit. Poor Drake, however, had to cancel because he’s ill and resting on doctor’s order.

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Kanye West actually asked Kim Kardashian to marry him 7 years ago

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Another day, another Kanye West onstage rant. While performing at the Wireless Festival in London on Friday night, Kanye got booed for losing his damn mind and ranting about Kim Kardashian (and how he proposed to her 7 years ago for the first time) and discrimination in the fashion industry.

From The Daily Mail:

Addressing the crowd in a bejewelled mask, Kanye said: ‘F**k saving face and what it’s supposed to mean, it’s about living my dream.

‘I told Kim seven years ago I would marry her and I made it happen. I just wanted to make something awesome and be awesome and change the world, and that’s exactly what I plan to do.’

And on the fashion thing…

The rap mogul’s revelation came after he was booed by festival goers for halting his Wireless performance for 20-minutes to launch into an epic rant.

He told the audience: ‘I’m not going to mention any names but… Nike, Louis Vuitton and Gucci. Don’t discriminate against me ‘cos I’m a black man making music.’

And it would seem the move didn’t go down too well with the crowd, with audience members reportedly deserting the al fresco gig in droves.

One festival-goer told MailOnline: ‘He was laying into the ‘machine’ and ranting about the public’s perception of him. Hundreds of people left the park early because they were so bored of his long rant.

‘There was serious booing towards the end of the speech, as people got so fed up and just wanted to hear him perform.’

LOL, I mean, is anyone surprised? This guy has more issues than Vogue and can’t seem to get his shit together to save his life. Onstage during a festival where you’re the headlining act – which no doubt he will have been paid a pretty penny to do – is not the place to air your grievances with the world. Start a fucking Tumblr or something, dude.

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Kim Kardashian And Kanye West “Need” A Bigger Place

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Kim Kardashian was in NYC with her horrible mother looking at apartments. Husband Kanye has a place in SoHo, but apparently it’s not good enough for them. A source told People, “They need a bigger space with private parking.”

OH, EXCUSE ME.

Here’s more on the story:

Kardashian checked out a $17.25 million townhouse in Greenwich Village that has six bedrooms, seven baths, a private garden and private parking inside the building, and a $12.99 million penthouse with a 1,500-sq.-ft. terrace complete with private pool, the New York Post reports.

The family, who are currently staying with Kardashian’s mom in L.A. while they renovate the Bel Air mansion they bought in January 2013 for $11 million, joked in April’s Vogue magazine that they would be keeping West’s L.A. home to store Kardashian’s giant wardrobe. “We have a ‘walk in’ house,” West joked.

Kanye, you make it so hard to like you. Kim, I never liked you. I can’t believe these people. How much do they really need, seriously? How much bigger and grander do they have to go? Am I jealous? You’re damn right I’m jealous, I wish I had their money. Why the hell does Kim need all that space? What’s she going to do with a 1,500 sq.-ft. terrace aside from using it as scenery to take more photoshopped pics? Oh, I guess they need a massive apartment so they can throw more stupid parties for their kid.

Yeah, I’m grumpy today.

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Annie Leibovitz was never actually confirmed for Kim & Kanye’s wedding

kim kardashian kanye west wedding

Another day, another case of Kanye West running his mouth about shit he knows nothing about. You know how he ranted about spending 4 days perfecting his and Kim‘s wedding picture since Annie Leibovitz pulled out just days before the big event? Uh, turns out Annie was never confirmed for the job in the first place. Nice try, though!

From TMZ:

So … Annie’s just sent us a long, rambling statement which also contains comments from Kanye — and it never directly addresses the “afraid of celebrity” comment.

The rep says Kanye was frustrated he couldn’t “collaborate with Annie” but he’s not blaming her for bailing …. even though his comment sure sounds like blame.

The rep says, “Unbeknownst to Kanye, she was never confirmed.”  Annie’s rep adds, “she would have loved to have taken their wedding portrait and was disappointed it didn’t happen.”

And get this … the statement says Annie is responsible for shooting Kim and Kanye’s Vogue cover, but she’s “not known to shoot weddings.”  It sounds like she wasn’t really into doing it in the first place.”

And get this BJ … Kanye says, “The most-liked Instagram photo of all time, shot by Annie Leibovitz.  Oh, I’m sorry for dreaming out loud.  Again.”

So… basically Kanye was just butthurt he didn’t get his way so he whinged about it (and lied in the process), making him look like an awfully poor sport. Sounds about right.

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