Yes, you read that headline right. Kanye West – the man who thought it prudent to put a $100,000 golden toilet in a house he never actually ended up living in – is trying to give Kim Kardashian a cathedral because… well, who the hell knows why these two idiots do anything? Oh, and the best part: he wants YOU to donate towards this endeavour.
From The Daily Mail:
‘They want somewhere that weddings, baptisms and family funerals can take place for years to come,’ a source told the U.S. publication. ‘But Kanye being Kanye, it’s going to be ludicrously over the top!’
Barcelona’s still unfinished Roman Catholic church was designed by Catalan architect Antoni Gaudí and began construction in 1882.
‘Kanye has visited the church several times, and it takes his breath away every time,’ the insider revealed. ‘He’s always wanted something similar for his own family.’
The rapper, who called his last album Yeezus, is now said to be on the look out for the perfect spot to build his over-the-top place of worship.
And naturally, it will be an homage to himself and Kim, with even a fancy stained glass window featuring himself, his wife and their one-year-old daughter North.
‘Kanye sees it as a monument to him and Kim that will become a major landmark,’ the source declared.’He says everyone will want to see it, like the Hollywood sign or the Empire State Building.
The 37-year-old star has apparently set aside a cool $5 million for the project with plans afoot to start an online appeal so fans can donate to the fund.’
Uh, how about these two fuck off? The day I donate a single penny to anything either of them do – especially when they make more money in a day than I probably will all year is also the same day I check myself into a mental institution, because I will have clearly lost my mind.
August 18, 2014 at 9:00 am by Jennifer
Kanye West‘s testimony at his Los Angeles assault trial against a paparazzi is just too fucking rich, man. While yesterday we heard that he claimed he’s the smartest celebrity there is, today we hear of his deep-seated fears: that paparazzi will fly drones over his house, lose control of said drones and then crash them into the pool while his 1-year-old daughter is swimming, thereby electrocuting her to death. Uh…
In the depo … Kanye sarcastically asks the photog’s lawyer, “Is your daughter stalked by like drones? Are there drones flying where she’s trying to learn how to swim at age 1?”
Kanye goes on … “Wouldn’t you like to just teach your daughter how to swim without a drone flying? What happens if a drone falls right next to her? Would it electrocute her?”
As for how that could happen, Kanye says, “Could it fall and hit her if that paparazzi doesn’t understand how to remote control the drone over their house?”
Oh, dear. I mean… what? I suppose this goes a ways in explaining why he and Kim just abandoned the house they were renovating to buy a new one for $20 million in Hidden Hills, California. It has its own vineyard, two spas, two swimming pools, two barbeque centers (JEALOUS) and is set on 3.5 acres of land. More money than sense, I’ve always said.
August 7, 2014 at 8:30 am by Jennifer
Nothing like some serious delusions of grandeur to brighten up your Wednesday. This time around, it’s from Kanye West (but when isn’t it?) and comes in the form of some of his testimony from that assault case with the photographer at LAX.
TMZ got a hold of the tape of Kanye’s testimony and oh man, it’s a doozy:
Kanye explains to Nate Goldberg, the photog’s lawyer, “I’m in the business of trying to make dope s**t for the world. You’re in the business of representing scums and trying to make as much money as long as there’s this lapse in the law.”
Goldberg grills Kanye about his song, “Flashing Lights,” — a rant against the paparazzi. Goldberg quotes from the song, “Till I get flashed by the paparazzi, damn, these ni**as got me.”
At that point Kanye interrupts, “You have to ask for a hall pass. You can’t just say the ‘n’ word around me.” adding, “It offends me because you’re a white person saying ‘ni**a.’”
Kanye says there’s a parallel between blacks fighting for civil rights in the ’60s and celebs fighting for theirs today: ”I mean in the ’60s people used to hold up ‘Die N****r’ signs when my parents were in the sit-ins also.” Goldberg asks if he equates the struggle of blacks in the past with celebrities today and Kanye says, “Yes, 100 … I equate it to discrimination. I equate it to inequalities.”
Kanye goes on, “We, as group of minorities here in L.A., as celebrities have to ban together to influence guys like this — guys trying to take the picture, guys trying to get the big win, guys trying to get the check.”
The depo is riddled with Kanye’s sarcasm. When Goldberg asks where he lives, Kanye replies, “Earth.”
LOL, I love that Kanye is getting mad that a white lawyer is questioning him about a lyric from his own song. The lawyer isn’t calling you that word, nor is he using it in general conversation. He is literally quoting from something you wrote – calm down. Oh, and the other quote not listed above? “I’m the smartest fucking celebrity you’ve ever dealt with. I’m not Britney Spears.”
Uh… I don’t think anyone could ever be confused about that. I seriously have never seen narcissism and delusion in such a high concentration as it appears in Kanye West. This guy thinks he’s God’s gift to planet earth, and I’m not quite sure who gave him that idea.
August 6, 2014 at 12:00 pm by Jennifer
Okay, as much as I can’t stand her parents, you have to admit that little North West is absolutely adorable. And she’s getting so big! Kim Kardashian posted this photo of his special guest with Kanye West in the studio online over the weekend in an attempt to prove that he and Kim do actually spend time with their child. I do have a slight concern that poor North never seems to be smiling, but would you?
August 5, 2014 at 12:00 pm by Jennifer
Don’t worry if you were as confused at reading that headline as I was writing it – it’s to be expected, considering who we’re talking about here. In Kanye West‘s new GQ profile, he spouts a lot of bullshit. Par for the course, right? But here’s something you probably didn’t expect: in the interview, he compares Kim Kardashian to a dinosaur (“in a good way”) and himself to a blowfish. I’ll let you read and enjoy:
Why’d you decide to get married?
Saying “Hey, I like Kim” isn’t as inspiring to people as us getting married. And anyone that’s in a relationship knows that in order to get to the point to get married and then to be married and to then carry on, it needs that work put into it. Right now, people look at it and it’s like, “Wow, that’s inspiring.” Meaning that love is infectious. You know, God is infectious—God flowing through us and us being little-baby creators and shit. But His energy and His love and what He wants us to have as people and the way He wants us to love each other, that is infectious. Like they said in Step Brothers: Never lose your dinosaur. This is the ultimate example of a person never losing his dinosaur. Meaning that even as I grew in cultural awareness and respect and was put higher in the class system in some way for being this musician, I never lost my dinosaur.
Kim is this girl who fucking turns me on. I love her. This is who I want to be next to and be around. And then people would try to say, “Well, you know, if you’re a musician, you should be with a musician, and if you want to design, you need to be with a girl from the design world.” I don’t give a fuck about people’s opinions. Because when a kid falls in love with an airplane or a bike or a dinosaur—especially if you’re an only child and it’s not because of the book that the sibling was reading—it’s like, fuck, you mean to tell me that the dinosaurs walked the earth and stuff like that?! That’s amazing! You mean to tell me that these giant multi-ton crafts can fly that fast and that loud, and they can flip, and there’s danger, the possibility of them exploding? That’s fucking cool! You mean to tell me that this girl with this fucking body and this face is also into style, and she’s a nice person, and she has her own money and is family-oriented? That’s just as cool as a fucking fighter jet or dinosaur! And just as rarely seen.
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA Sorry, I just had to interrupt for that. Kim is as cool as fighter jets and dinosaurs? I just… sorry, I’ll let you continue.
Does that kind of mockery feel like an effort to de-fang you?
But also, there’s no fangs. I don’t have fangs. I’m a porcupine. I’m a blowfish. Like, I’m a—what’s the fish that blows up?
Yeah. I’m a blowfish. I’m not a shark, I’m a blowfish. So that perfect example about me hitting my head, it’s like a blowfish. I wasn’t coming out of my house going to a paparazzi’s house to attack them. I’m defending my family in front of my own house. I’m defending my name as someone’s screaming something negative at me. That’s a blowfish. People have me pinned as a shark or a predator in some way, and in no way am I that. I wouldn’t want to hurt anyone. I want to defend people. I want to help people.
Whatever, man. I’m always rendered speechless when I hear/read/see what comes out of this guy’s mouth. It’s a whole new level of insanity.
July 21, 2014 at 12:22 pm by Jennifer
Kanye West went on an interminable 20-minute rant onstage at the Wireless Festival in London on Friday night, and during that time he said some crazy ass shit. Sure, he pronounced his long-standing love for Kim Kardashian and claimed that he’s being discriminated against in the fashion industry, but know what else he did? Complain about fame to the point of comparing paparazzi photos to being raped. You know, totally the same thing!
From The Independent:
“I want to bring my family to the movies without 30 motherfuckers following me. Everybody here, they like sex right? Sex is great when you and your partner are like, ‘Hey, this is what we both want to do’.
“But if one of those people don’t want to do that, what is that called? That’s called rape. That is called violation.”
“So if I walk around and say look sir, I’m not feeling so good today, I need some space, can you please not fuck with me today? I need cut-off space, not violation.”
West said that he would “stop every paparazzi one by one” if he wasn’t on probation, adding: “One week I told a paparazzi, ‘Stop talking to me – I might be thinking of something like a new stage show, a new design. You want to shove a camera in my face, you just fucked up my whole trail of thought.”
Zzzzzzzz… I’m so fucking bored of this guy. If Kanye had ever ACTUALLY been raped, I guarantee you he’d be begging for paparazzi to take photos of him in exchange for erasing that experience from his life. THEY ARE NOT THE SAME THING. No one is physically touching you or violating your body, no one is scarring you for life, no one is overpowering you. You can’t bear paparazzi being in your face? Get a fucking clue – move out of Los Angeles, get a farm in Nebraska or some shit and stay out of the limelight. Don’t marry someone whose entire existence revolves around the paparazzi and being seen and photographed by them 24 hours a day. Fuck off, man.
Oh, and if that wasn’t enough, he went on a SECOND rant on Saturday night on stage – that one, however, only lasted 5 minutes. Apparently the crowd started chanting “We want Drake!” during his bullshit. Poor Drake, however, had to cancel because he’s ill and resting on doctor’s order.