Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux have been together – and engaged – for several years now. However, they’ve been plagued by reports that they can’t stand each other, that Jen’s a disaster to live with, that they barely see each other which is the reason they’ve managed to stay together, etc. Well, stuff all of youse (I’m getting into local slang, here), because they’re IN LOOOOOOVE and Jen’s here to prove it by talking about how much she loves his “eyeballs” because they’re set well in his head or something?
From Women’s Wear Daily:
“It is amazing. He’s just so beautiful and handsome to me, and I love that his eyeballs are so beautifully captured because those eyes just knock me out every day,” the actress continued, now getting poetic about her better half. “He just gets better every year. He’s just like a lost gem in the sand, and he’s just always been there and been brilliant, and now this is just in a different light.”
I seriously don’t understand what half of this means, to be honest. A lost gem in the sand? She loves how his eyeballs are captured? Is she deliberately trying to confuse us? If so, it’s working. But uh, good that they’re so in love?
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Jennifer Aniston gossip stories are sometimes my favorite because of how ridiculous they can be, like how super pregnant she always is. So I thought I’d share this nugget from the Inquirer. Apparently, Aniston moved her dad and his wife into the $21 million dollar mansion she shares with Theroux, and Theroux’s all pissed off about it. Allegedly, he even called her dad a “buzzkill.” Here’s from from the Inquirer:
“Justin is steaming mad over Jen’s offer,” disclosed an insider. “He told her that having?her dad ambling around the house is a huge ‘buzz-kill.’
He worries it’s going to destroy their love life before they even tie the knot. Justin tried to plead his case, but Jen told him she’s made up her mind. She said he has no right to even question her because of how much time he’s been away.”
If this is true, he’s being stupid. Their mansion is huge and he’s a busy man who travels to NYC a lot, I’m sure he’ll rarely see either of them. He needs to calm his tits and sort his priorities.
Whose side are you on?
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Ha! I fooled you with that quote, didn’t I? Justin Theroux didn’t really say that Jennifer Aniston is weird, but he may as well have done. Instead, he said that their life together is like living in a “different altitude”. Huh, well. That sounds promising.
I do think they are probably weirdos together – the house they bought came complete with a bunch of chickens that they’re raising now, for example – but isn’t that the great thing about love? Someone to put up with your weirdness and whose weirdness you can put up with, too?
“It’s a bit like going to a slightly different altitude, you know?” he says. The paparazzi—“I call them photojournalists, actually,” he says—can be a drag. And “when I get complimented on the street because I’m having twins”—that’s weird, too.
The many-million-dollar Bel Air mansion he and Aniston just bought came with its own poultry: six chickens. “We inherited the chickens from the previous owners,” Theroux says. “They were like, ‘Of course we’ll get rid of the chickens,’ and we said, ‘Are you crazy? Don’t get rid of the chickens. That’s half the reason we wanted this place.’ ”
Well, isn’t that nice? Frankly, I would love to have chickens because HELLO, free eggs. Except you have to feed the chickens and they stink and they get shit and feathers everywhere and are full of germs. Other than that, chickens are awesome.
So when are these two going to get married?
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They should probably be having a wedding party by now, but instead Jennifer Aniston threw forever fiancé Justin Theroux a super “casual” (read: probably boring?) birthday party at their “$21 million Bel Air mansion” on Saturday. Plenty of stars were in attendance, including Ben Stiller (why?), Dax Shepard, Emily Blunt and Ellen & Portia. Sounds like a hoot.
Here’s the scoop from US Weekly:
Pre-party, a source tells Us Weekly that the ladies got ready inside (Aniston’s hair stylist Chris McMillan was on hand to style the We’re The Millers star), while Theroux, an actor-screenwriter, hung out with his guys outside.
“Several of Justin’s friends spent the afternoon at the house hanging out by the pool with him and celebrating his birthday,” an eyewitness shares. “It was a relaxed afternoon and they were all in the cabana area having drinks and listening to music like Kanye West and The Kinks.”
“Most people were dressed casually in jeans and T-shirts,” a source tells Us. “Justin was dressed casually in a black T-shirt and black jeans, and Jen had on a short green skirt and long sleeved top.”
While the actress, 44, chatted with her friends, mostly sticking to gal pals Fisher and Meyer, the birthday boy — who received gifts from Cartier and Barney’s — spent a majority of the night with Shepard and Kimmel.
There was also an indoor BBQ, a fire pit and awesome sunset views, I guess. I have to laugh at the people who sold this story to US Weekly. Is it even true? Sure, the party happened, but anyone could make up shit like the fire pit and whatnot. I dunno, whatever. Happy birthday, Justin Theroux? Oh, and one more question: what did they do with all the chickens
Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux may have stopped talking about their wedding, but that’s only just because Jennifer doesn’t really care about getting married. Sure, it’ll happen eventually, but what’s the rush? Some couples stay engaged for years! Maybe even decades! Maybe they’ll just never have a wedding and why does it matter because it’s just a silly wedding!!!!!!!
Anyway, Jennifer basically told E News (via Metro) that there’s no hurry for a ceremony since the pair “already feel married” and are just chillin’ in their non-married married life.
‘We just want to do it when it’s perfect, and we’re not rushed, and no one is rushing from a job or rushing to a job,’ the 44-year-old Friends star said, despite anticipation the pair were to wed this summer after announcing their engagement.
‘And, you know, we already feel married,’ she said at the premiere of her new flick We Are The Millers.
That’s fair enough – I’m sure lots of people feel that way. Marriage is a really outdated idea. Of course, I think anyone who wants to get married should absolutely go for it, but I don’t think couples who DON’T get married are any less committed to one another in the slightest (RIP, Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins‘ relationship!) but it is a little dicey when you’re a celebrity who announced your engagement and made a big to-do about tying the knot and don’t do it when everyone’s waiting on it. Not that they owe anything to the public or whatever. GOD, I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS, OKAY.
Oh, God. Can we just get this over with already? Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux have apparently completely stopped planning their wedding after a major fight about where they’ll eventually live. Apparently Justin wants to spend his time between LA and New York City, and Jen gave that idea a big “HELL NO” and wants to stay in SoCa full time.
From Radar Online:
As Radar reported, Thoreaux has been miserable living in sunny Los Angeles. But Jen has refused to move to New York.
In an attempt to break the impasse and formalize the start of their new life together Justin proposed a bi-coastal solution.
“He suggested the couple could live in New York City part-time, no more than six months a year (and L.A. the rest of the time),” the source said. “Justin misses the Big Apple, and his friends. His entire life was in New York, and he uprooted his entire life to move to LA to be with Jen.
“He thinks it’s time Jen start to compromise, but she is absolutely refusing to live on the East Coast, even part-time.”
That refusal by Jen has led to the delay in marriage by a couple that seemed quickly headed down the altar. Jen has settled in Los Angeles and even spent a significant sum fixing up her house, where she expects to live with Justin.
I don’t blame Justin on this one – I’d HATE living in LA. Every time I’m out there, I can’t wait to NOT be there again. Then again, it’s one of those places you feel nostalgic for once you’ve left. Still, the traffic, weather, traffic, shitty people, traffic, weather and shitty people (so bad they have to be named twice) are enough to keep me away for life.
So what will happen? Will a compromise be reached? Is this wedding going to happen or is Jen going to gain official Cat Lady status (in the eyes of SOCIETY, people) soon?
Jennifer Aniston is engaged to Justin
Theoefwrox Theoreusxz Theroux but they haven’t yet married. I’m really bad at spelling Theroux on the first try. But I try, and I like to show you that I try. Teamwork, everyone.
So what’s the holdup, Jennifer Aniston? Please tell us about something that has absolutely nothing to do with us and explain right now why you’re not a wife. From People:
As fans eagerly wait for her to become Mrs. Theroux [LOL PEOPLE CALM DOWN, THIS SOUNDS LIKE NARRATION IN THE BEGINNING OF A DISNEY MOVIE], multiple sources tell PEOPLE that plans for the much-anticipated nuptials have slowed down.
A few months ago, arrangements were in full swing, says a source who speaks to Aniston often. “Wedding bands were designed and Jen was deciding on a dress,” says the source. The actress had a date in mind, too – this spring.
Now, with both Aniston, 44, and Theroux, 41, overloaded with work commitments and a massive house renovation, “wedding talk has stopped.”
[...] With their packed schedules and the challenges of combining their lifestyles, “they need to figure out a way to create a life that makes them both happy,” says the first source. Still, “Jen can’t wait to be [Justin's] wife.”
Oh, okay, good. I was worried there.
I don’t see them getting married. I’m not sure why. But when I close my eyes, the beautiful yet incredibly boring Aniston-Theroux wedding isn’t swimming into focus. What do you think?