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Jordin Sparks

19Demi Lovato Rules the Charts, Jordin Sparks Fails to Light It Up

Demi Lovato at Hannah Montana Premiere

Ahhh, my little Demi-goddess Lovato released another hit album, with Here We Go Again selling 108K copies and topping the Billboard charts. (Michael Jackson’s Number Ones sold more copies, but it’s ineligible for the charts because it’s an older album.)

Meanwhile, Jordin Sparks’ Battlefield sold a dismal 48,000 copies. Has anyone heard the single off that album? It’s terrible. If that’s what they released as the first single, I can’t even imagine the crap that’s on the rest of that album. No sweat off my back. I’m still angry with her for implying that pre-marital sex is slutty at the VMAs last year. You know what, Jordin? Having a flop of a sophomore album is slutty, too.

Here’s what it all comes down to: American Idol is brilliant at creating a big star of the moment, but when it comes to developing, nurturing and promoting talent in the long run, nobody can compete with Disney.

July 29, 2009 at 11:24 pm by Evil Beet

31Virginal Love Is in the Air!

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Jordin Sparks took in a Lakers game last night with her boyfriend, “singer” Steph Jones. I took twenty seconds out of my day to listen to some of his stuff on his MySpace page, and, IMHO, it’s totally unexceptional and amateurish. There’s a reason I hadn’t heard about him before now.

Jordin famously took Russell Brand to task at the VMAs last year for poking fun at the Jonas Brothers when they talked about promise rings. “It’s not bad to wear a promise ring,” she said on stage, “because not everybody — guy or girl — wants to be a slut.” I found that statement exceptionally annoying, and I resent the implication that the decision to have pre-marital sex makes one a “slut.” (I don’t like the term “slut” in general, but that’s neither here nor there.) Anyway. I’m wondering if Jordin’s letting this dude pork her, or if she sits at home polishing her promise ring while he jacks off in the bathroom.

May 7, 2009 at 3:58 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Jordin Sparks

44Rough Life

Jordin Sparks

I spent Sunday sledding on a freeway exit and searching for a cell phone in two feet of snow with a metal detector, but Jordin Sparks? Arrived in Perth, Australia, where the sun shines as brightly as her virginity.

Personally, I’d rather be covered in snow and, on occasion, semen.

December 22, 2008 at 12:17 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Jordin Sparks

31Lookin’ Good!

I’m still a little bitter with her for announcing at the VMAs that anyone who doesn’t wear a promise ring is a slut, but, still. Jordin Sparks actually was looking quite good at this Avon charity event in NYC. It’s amazing what a team of stylists can do, isn’t it?

October 29, 2008 at 11:09 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Jordin Sparks

95I Love Ghana, Too, Jordin

jordin_ghana.jpg

The American Idol winner shows some love for the African nation on Fuse’s The Sauce.

Who wants to bet this chick can’t find Ghana on a map?

I know I couldn’t. Well, maybe on Google Maps. Are there any other kind of maps these days?

February 25, 2008 at 7:30 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Jordin Sparks

19Jordin Sparks Does the Macy’s Parade

Jordin Sparks Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, Pictures, Photos

Jordin Sparks celebrated the release of her debut album by riding in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade.

Awww, she’s so cute.

It’s like she asking — politely — to be corrupted. Step up to the plate, Hollywood!

November 23, 2007 at 12:11 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Jordin Sparks
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