Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Jon Voight

Blind Item Blitz

Photo: Blind Item Blitz! (OK, a guitar player.)

*Drum beat*

Are you ready, Liz? (“Uh-huh.”)
Mireee? (“Yeah.”)
Chuck? (“OK.”)
All right, readers!
Let’s goooooooooooooooo!

*Guitar riff*

Here’s one from Buzzfoto. Everyone says Buzzfoto’s gossip blinds are a load of hooey, but they can’t all be wrong. Right?

This once A-list, award-winning actor has dropped off the radar in the last few years. A source tells us he obsessively watches right-wing news and radio broadcasts like Glenn Beck, while stocking up on gold and weapons, preparing for ‘the end.’ His friends have tried to offer help, but he complains to our source that they are ‘nothing but Hollywood liberal socialists’ who have an agenda. His family and friends are worried as he’s becoming more extreme, and the source also claims he’s shelled out big bucks to install a bunker on his property.

I consulted with my friend Mike on this one, and he landed a pretty good guess: Jon Voight.

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Brad and Angelina Spice Up the Salt Premiere

Hey you guys I bet I’m the only blogger on the planet who thought of that headline. Get it??? Because “salt” is kind of a “spice”? (Is salt actually a spice?)

Chicken Legs Jolie and someone who may or may not have been Brad Pitt (we cannot know for sure because he never takes off his damn sunglasses), hit up the big premiere of Salt, the summer blockbuster wherein Angelina Jolie continues to redefine the role of women in action flicks.

I guess all is well with Angie and her father again, because Jon Voight was present and accounted for, along with Angelina’s brother and pre-Brad make-out partner James Haven.

Angie stopped to take photos with fans (really, really cute — because the fans couldn’t cross the rope, Angie took their cameras and held them up to take the photos herself, the way you do with all your girlfriends in a bar when you don’t trust any of the nearby douchebags to touch your camera), chatted with costar Liev Schreiber, and greeted Naomi Watts with a big hug. Kristin Cavallari was inexplicably there (good publicist, I suppose), but luckily Angelina Jolie didn’t take a photo with her (the world would explode).

All things considered, Angelina looks great here. She rarely does these red carpets anymore, but she looks the happiest I’ve seen her look in a long time. She’s still incomparably beautiful, but it’s been gradually turning into a more mature sort of beauty and less of a gasp! sexpot! kind of beauty. I like that for her. I do wish she’d eat a little more, but, all in all, I really enjoyed going through this set of pics. It’s always nice to see Angelina doing her thing.

If Jon Voight’s Real Kids Won’t Talk To Him, He’ll Just Find Some New Ones

Jon Voight went out to breakfast in Los Angeles yesterday morning and he had a random little boy with him. OK, so he’s  probably a neighbor or a family friend or some Big Brother assignment, but there’s something a little strange-looking about the whole situation. For someone who seems to alienate the hell out of his real kids, why is Jon dragging yet another young person in to his life?