Oh, you mean you didn’t hear? Because yes, John Mayer did an interview with Rolling Stone wherein he discussed how very happy Katy Perry has made him, and how much his life has changed for the better since he stopped being a feathered-hair doofus whose very favorite past time was objectifying women and subjecting them to bogus serenades like ‘Your Body is a Wonderland’. Things are so, so much better.
Here’s John talking about his new, sturdy relationship with Katy Perry:
I haven’t had any trouble in my private life at all. It’s been … I mean, I’m quite happy. I’m happy in all aspects of my life. I’m very happy in all aspects of my life.
And John on being wary of photographers:
I used to be incredibly put off by somebody taking a picture, thinking as if in some way it was it was invading my brain. But all it is, is you can see where I was last weekend. That’s all … That’s not tremendously frightening to me.
On Frank Ocean (?):
Frank is such an interesting, deep, touched, wonderful guy. He’s fascinating to me. He’s so great.
And last, on how he’s improving himself and his life and what we can expect in the coming days:
I’m interested in living more of a life that’s invisible to everybody and more vibrant to a fewer people that are in my life.
Oh, but wait. John Mayer was spotted getting cozy with ‘Girls’ star Allison Williams in New York City this past weekend, so there is still that, right? A leper never really loses his spots or whatever, don’t you know.
From Blind Gossip:
This high-profile female celebrity bought her boyfriend a beautiful new automobile this holiday season. She even told him that there were no strings attached so that he could feel more manly about it.
He is so appreciative of her thoughtful gift that the first thing he did was to thank her with a few special hours in the bedroom.
The second thing he did was to start calling dealerships and researching the car online to get an idea of its value. That way, when they break up with next year, he can sell it for cash.
He has told friends that he already knows the relationship will likely not survive the upcoming scandal of her discovering how much he cheats on her. But will she be surprised when she finds out the gender of those with whom he is cheating?
So now, I don’t know if Katy Perry bought John Mayer a car, but duh, it wouldn’t really be at all surprising if Katy Perry did buy him a car, because Katy Perry would totally do what she needed to do to keep a man. Also not surprising? That John Mayer would be cheating so brashly on Katy Perry and not really trying to hide it. That last thing? The thing about John Mayer cheating on Katy with other dudes? Well. Also not surprising. As a matter of fact, nothing about this whole situation is all that surprising, and the fact that it’s not surprising isn’t surprising either.
No, I’m just kidding. She totally looks lovelier than ever. But you can definitely tell that she’s getting nice and cozy in her relationship with John Mayer, now that he’s actually allowing her to be seen with him in more public places than just entering and exiting hotels for illicit trysts:
Also, remember how Emily told you guys that she and John—Katy and John, that is; not Emily and John—did the Big Thing this year and celebrated Christmas together? Because they did, and if the idea of John and Katy bumping uglies (or at least, Katy bumping John’s ugly with her pretty) didn’t entirely repulse you, I have yet another photo that might. Don’t say I didn’t warn you:
… Because you just know that he’s all sweaty and nude and unwashed underneath that scratchy Santa suit, right?
Anyway, Creepy John aside—Katy Perry’s casual look: love it or leave it?