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Joe Simpson

No Big Deal, But Joe Simpson Took Out A Secret Life Insurance Policy on Jessica

A photo of Joe Simpson

Psych! It actually is kind of a big deal that Joe Simpson, well-known shademeister, took out a life insurance police on his very, very famous daughter without telling anyone. Probably just because it’s creepy. It’s really creepy, isn’t it? Like, this is how some mystery novels begin. And spoiler alert: those mystery novels never end well.

From Radar:

Joe Simpson secretly took out a $4.5 million life insurance policy in daughter Jessica’s name with himself listed as the sole beneficiary, a source tells RadarOnline.com exclusively.

The policy was drafted around 8 years ago, the source says, and The Dukes Of Hazzard star and her mom Tina only found out about its existence last week.

Tina’s attorneys at Dunnam & Dunnam were made aware of the policy’s existence in a meeting with the Simpsons’ business manager, David Levin, and the source says that both Jessica and Tina are “furious” that Joe had done such a thing without the knowledge of either of them.

“Tina found out about yet another one of Joe’s secrets and couldn’t believe what she was hearing,” the source, who is close to the Simpson family, tells RadarOnline.com.

“It came out in a meeting with David and her attorneys last week that Joe set up a life insurance policy for Jessica 8 years ago that made him the sole beneficiary.

“It was pointed out to Tina that as Jessica’s manager Joe wasn’t doing anything underhanded by taking out a policy to protect his biggest income source, but she was absolutely furious that Joe did it without consulting her or Jessica.

“Joe’s actions have put a massive strain on the family, and it’s only getting worse. It’s hard to see that Tina and Joe will ever be amicable with each other again and the divorce case is shaping up to be very messy,” the source says.

Maybe I’m just wondering this because we just talked about Britney Spears, but is it even possible to be the parent of an extremely famous, successful daughter and not turn into a total creep? Or is the parent a creep to begin with, and the daughter’s fame just allows more opportunities for poor choices? Either way, can everyone please just stop?

There Needs to Be A Lifetime Movie About Joe Simpson’s Boyfriend

A photo of Joe Simpson

I don’t mean just his boyfriend, but the whole entire affair. We need a Lifetime movie about Joe Simpson‘s childhood, about how he decided to stay in the closet and marry Tina Simpson, about the birth of his two beautiful daughters, and finally, and this part would be the focus, natch, the affair. How Joe met his boyfriend, how the relationship developed, and how Tina found out about it.

Here’s that part, by the way. Here’s how Tina found out about it:

Joe Simpson’s affair with an aspiring male model unraveled after his wife Tina made a mad dash to New York City to confront her husband about the alleged trysts, RadarOnline.com is exclusively reporting.

Back in August, Tina discovered modeling shots of Bryce Chandler Hill, 21, lying around the L.A. home she shared with 54-year-old Joe. Worse still, she noticed the pictures were taken inside their Encino mansion. Not knowing who the boy was, Tina investigated and she soon learned the truth in a brutal hotel lobby confrontation.

“Joe got busted after Tina found some modeling pictures of Bryce in her home,” a source close to the Simpson family exclusively told RadarOnline.com. “They were taken in and around the house and she was suspicious because she didn’t have a clue who the boy was.

“Joe and Tina’s marriage was in trouble and they had a make or break vacation booked in Hawaii, so she didn’t ask Joe any questions at that point. However, when they returned to Los Angeles Joe bizarrely got on a plane to New York, just six hours after they had landed in California. She thought it was suspicious, but she still didn’t suspect anything. Tina thought he was just going there for a business meeting,” the insider said.

But things started to take a turn for the worse when Tina began to enquire about Bryce, who she had never met, or knew anything of.

“Because Tina looks after Jessica’s fashion label, she meets a lot of people who work in the fashion industry,” the source continued. “In one meeting, somebody mentioned Bryce and she couldn’t talk about him because she didn’t know anything about the boy.”

It was then that Tina enlisted daughter Jessica’s best friend CaCee Cobb for help in finding out who the boy was.

“CaCee uncovered some personal pictures of Joe and Bryce posing together and showed Tina.

“Tina sent Joe, who was back in New York, a text message asking if he had anything to tell her. She quizzed him about Bryce but he denied knowing the kid,” the insider said.

Smelling a rat, Tina decided to take the bull by the horns the source said. She knew where Joe was staying and wanted to confront him in person.

“Tina wanted answers,” the source revealed. “She flew to New York to make an unannounced visit to Joe. When she got there, she called him down to the lobby and they thrashed it out. It was there and then that Joe confessed he was having a gay affair with Bryce, who had left the hotel just days earlier, and Tina demanded a divorce,” the source divulged.

See what I mean? I would watch that movie. I would watch a double feature of this and Lindsay Lohan‘s mess, and they could tack on that one about the kid addicted to internet porn, and, ooh, maybe the one about the pregnancy pact*. I wouldn’t miss a minute. That is, as long as the Joe Simpson movie didn’t forget to include the pivotal scene in which he gets highlights.

*Did you guys see that one? It was phenomenal. At one point, this journalist was interviewing a group of pregnant teenagers, and he asked if they’d made a pact to get pregnant at the same time. And one of the girls was like “a pact, what’s a pact, I don’t even know what that word means.” Who are these people?

Oh Yeah, Joe Simpson is Definitely Maybe Gay

[Image removed upon request.]

So remember how we kind of mentioned that Jessica Simpson‘s father, Joe Simpson went and filed for divorce from his wife and everyone was saying that it’s because he’s a gay man living a straight man’s life? Well this is Joe’s sassy new look for his sassy new life, complete with styled, highlighted blonde hair. And doesn’t he look just dandy, guys? You can tell that this is a liberated man, free from the shackles of that pesky prison known to man as “marriage,” and you can tell that he’s totally loving it.

Sources are also saying that it’s not just a new sweater and new hair that Joe’s gone and taken advantage of in his singledom; there’s allegedly a hot young boyfriend waiting in the wings. From Radar Online:

A young, aspiring male model has been boasting that he has been having an affair with Jessica Simpson’s father, Joe, for the past year, RadarOnline.com is exclusively reporting.

Fresh-faced Bryce Chandler Hill, 21, has been bragging about dating 54-year-old Joe on/off for around a year and has recounted torrid details of their alleged trysts to various friends around West Hollywood.

A source close to the situation tells Radar exclusively that Bryce met Joe Simpson through a mutual friend, who is very close to Joe’s daughters, Jessica and Ashlee Simpson.

This is the young man in question, the aforementioned Bryce Chandler Hill:

photo of joe simpson boyfriend model pictures
All I can really say about the whole thing is that Joe Simpson is a pretty handsome dude. And I think he could probably do way, way better than a smart-mouthed twenty-one year-old model wannabe, you know?