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Joe Simpson

No Big Deal, But Joe Simpson Took Out A Secret Life Insurance Policy on Jessica

A photo of Joe Simpson

Psych! It actually is kind of a big deal that Joe Simpson, well-known shademeister, took out a life insurance police on his very, very famous daughter without telling anyone. Probably just because it’s creepy. It’s really creepy, isn’t it? Like, this is how some mystery novels begin. And spoiler alert: those mystery novels never end well.

From Radar:

Joe Simpson secretly took out a $4.5 million life insurance policy in daughter Jessica’s name with himself listed as the sole beneficiary, a source tells exclusively.

The policy was drafted around 8 years ago, the source says, and The Dukes Of Hazzard star and her mom Tina only found out about its existence last week.

Tina’s attorneys at Dunnam & Dunnam were made aware of the policy’s existence in a meeting with the Simpsons’ business manager, David Levin, and the source says that both Jessica and Tina are “furious” that Joe had done such a thing without the knowledge of either of them.

“Tina found out about yet another one of Joe’s secrets and couldn’t believe what she was hearing,” the source, who is close to the Simpson family, tells

“It came out in a meeting with David and her attorneys last week that Joe set up a life insurance policy for Jessica 8 years ago that made him the sole beneficiary.

“It was pointed out to Tina that as Jessica’s manager Joe wasn’t doing anything underhanded by taking out a policy to protect his biggest income source, but she was absolutely furious that Joe did it without consulting her or Jessica.

“Joe’s actions have put a massive strain on the family, and it’s only getting worse. It’s hard to see that Tina and Joe will ever be amicable with each other again and the divorce case is shaping up to be very messy,” the source says.

Maybe I’m just wondering this because we just talked about Britney Spears, but is it even possible to be the parent of an extremely famous, successful daughter and not turn into a total creep? Or is the parent a creep to begin with, and the daughter’s fame just allows more opportunities for poor choices? Either way, can everyone please just stop?

There Needs to Be A Lifetime Movie About Joe Simpson’s Boyfriend

A photo of Joe Simpson

I don’t mean just his boyfriend, but the whole entire affair. We need a Lifetime movie about Joe Simpson‘s childhood, about how he decided to stay in the closet and marry Tina Simpson, about the birth of his two beautiful daughters, and finally, and this part would be the focus, natch, the affair. How Joe met his boyfriend, how the relationship developed, and how Tina found out about it.

Here’s that part, by the way. Here’s how Tina found out about it:

Joe Simpson’s affair with an aspiring male model unraveled after his wife Tina made a mad dash to New York City to confront her husband about the alleged trysts, is exclusively reporting.

Back in August, Tina discovered modeling shots of Bryce Chandler Hill, 21, lying around the L.A. home she shared with 54-year-old Joe. Worse still, she noticed the pictures were taken inside their Encino mansion. Not knowing who the boy was, Tina investigated and she soon learned the truth in a brutal hotel lobby confrontation.

“Joe got busted after Tina found some modeling pictures of Bryce in her home,” a source close to the Simpson family exclusively told “They were taken in and around the house and she was suspicious because she didn’t have a clue who the boy was.

“Joe and Tina’s marriage was in trouble and they had a make or break vacation booked in Hawaii, so she didn’t ask Joe any questions at that point. However, when they returned to Los Angeles Joe bizarrely got on a plane to New York, just six hours after they had landed in California. She thought it was suspicious, but she still didn’t suspect anything. Tina thought he was just going there for a business meeting,” the insider said.

But things started to take a turn for the worse when Tina began to enquire about Bryce, who she had never met, or knew anything of.

“Because Tina looks after Jessica’s fashion label, she meets a lot of people who work in the fashion industry,” the source continued. “In one meeting, somebody mentioned Bryce and she couldn’t talk about him because she didn’t know anything about the boy.”

It was then that Tina enlisted daughter Jessica’s best friend CaCee Cobb for help in finding out who the boy was.

“CaCee uncovered some personal pictures of Joe and Bryce posing together and showed Tina.

“Tina sent Joe, who was back in New York, a text message asking if he had anything to tell her. She quizzed him about Bryce but he denied knowing the kid,” the insider said.

Smelling a rat, Tina decided to take the bull by the horns the source said. She knew where Joe was staying and wanted to confront him in person.

“Tina wanted answers,” the source revealed. “She flew to New York to make an unannounced visit to Joe. When she got there, she called him down to the lobby and they thrashed it out. It was there and then that Joe confessed he was having a gay affair with Bryce, who had left the hotel just days earlier, and Tina demanded a divorce,” the source divulged.

See what I mean? I would watch that movie. I would watch a double feature of this and Lindsay Lohan‘s mess, and they could tack on that one about the kid addicted to internet porn, and, ooh, maybe the one about the pregnancy pact*. I wouldn’t miss a minute. That is, as long as the Joe Simpson movie didn’t forget to include the pivotal scene in which he gets highlights.

*Did you guys see that one? It was phenomenal. At one point, this journalist was interviewing a group of pregnant teenagers, and he asked if they’d made a pact to get pregnant at the same time. And one of the girls was like “a pact, what’s a pact, I don’t even know what that word means.” Who are these people?

Oh Yeah, Joe Simpson is Definitely Maybe Gay

[Image removed upon request.]

So remember how we kind of mentioned that Jessica Simpson‘s father, Joe Simpson went and filed for divorce from his wife and everyone was saying that it’s because he’s a gay man living a straight man’s life? Well this is Joe’s sassy new look for his sassy new life, complete with styled, highlighted blonde hair. And doesn’t he look just dandy, guys? You can tell that this is a liberated man, free from the shackles of that pesky prison known to man as “marriage,” and you can tell that he’s totally loving it.

Sources are also saying that it’s not just a new sweater and new hair that Joe’s gone and taken advantage of in his singledom; there’s allegedly a hot young boyfriend waiting in the wings. From Radar Online:

A young, aspiring male model has been boasting that he has been having an affair with Jessica Simpson’s father, Joe, for the past year, is exclusively reporting.

Fresh-faced Bryce Chandler Hill, 21, has been bragging about dating 54-year-old Joe on/off for around a year and has recounted torrid details of their alleged trysts to various friends around West Hollywood.

A source close to the situation tells Radar exclusively that Bryce met Joe Simpson through a mutual friend, who is very close to Joe’s daughters, Jessica and Ashlee Simpson.

This is the young man in question, the aforementioned Bryce Chandler Hill:

photo of joe simpson boyfriend model pictures
All I can really say about the whole thing is that Joe Simpson is a pretty handsome dude. And I think he could probably do way, way better than a smart-mouthed twenty-one year-old model wannabe, you know?

Jessica Simpson’s Parents are Divorcing Because Jessica Simpson’s Dad is Gay

photo of tina and joe simpson pictures divorce gay pic
Oh man. So, talk about bad timing, huh? Right before divorce proceedings were announced by Joe and Tina Simpson, it was revealed that Joe, father of Jessica Simpson, might be gay. But wait—according to statements made to People, he’s not. From People:

Jessica Simpson’s parents Tina and Joe Simpson have filed for divorce, a rep for the family tells PEOPLE. But that is where the headline-worthy news about the Simpson clan ends, says the rep.

Their statement to PEOPLE Wednesday came the same day that buzz built around a story in the National Enquirer reporting that Joe had come out to his family.

“It is an amicable split and there is no third party involved,” says the rep. “Any other related allegations are completely false. The family appreciates your respect for their privacy at this time.”

Tina, 52, filed for divorce in Texas last month, and cited “discord or conflict of personalities” as grounds in the court papers obtained by PEOPLE. She and 54-year-old Joe – a manager and former minister who is often referred to as “Papa Joe” – were married in Texas in 1978 and are also parents to Ashlee Simpson. They have two grandchildren between their daughters.

In Joe’s response to Tina’s divorce petition, he requests Tina not get anything in the split.

So, OK. There might not be a third party, per se. And that would just be because maybe Joe isn’t seeing one at the moment. But it wouldn’t take away from the fact that gay is gay, right? Just because Joe’s not boning someone on the side doesn’t mean that he’s not gay, you know? Is Joe gay? Well. That would explain a lot, but who really knows. Sure is odd, though, that Joe’s requesting Tina get ZILCH in the divorce, because wow. What a cold-hearted move (I love it).

Oh, and here’s the bit from the Enquirer that claims Joe’s gay, just in case you were in the mood for slum-gossip this evening:

According to a bombshell new report, Jessica Simpson’s world was turned upside-down when her manager-dad Joe Simpson re­cently dropped a bomb on his unsuspecting family: An insider says he confessed he’s gay!

And not only has a family source told The National Enquirer that 54-year-old Joe came out of the closet, the source says the former youth pastor and Baptist minister has a 20-some­thing boy toy!

The stunning confession was the real reason wife Tina filed for divorce from Joe, her husband of 34 years, in late September, the Enquirer reports.

“Joe got the family together about two months ago and came out of the closet,” an insider divulged. “He told them that he’d tried to continue in his marriage to Tina, but he couldn’t go on any longer and deny the fact that he had these feelings for men.

“Joe said it wasn’t fair to her, and it wasn’t fair to him.”

Can’t wait to see how this thing unfolds.

Jessica Simpson’s Dad Might Go to Jail

photo of joe simpson pictures
From TMZ:

Joe Simpson — Jessica Simpson’s dad — has been charged with 2 counts of DUI stemming from an August 4th arrest … TMZ has learned.

TMZ broke the story … Simpson was popped at a DUI checkpoint in Sherman Oaks, CA earlier this month … and blew .12 on the breathalyzer test.

Now, we’ve learned … the L.A. City Attorney has filed 2 misdemeanor counts of driving under the influence against Papa Joe … which carry a maximum sentence of 6 months in jail.

If convicted on both counts, Joe COULD face up to 36 months probation and a $1,000 fine — but as a first-time offender, it’s highly unlikely he’ll end up behind bars. He’ll probably end up with a fine and probation.

So ol’ boobie-grabber Joe Simpson might go to jail. Some might say “it’s about time,” and some of “them” who might say that would be me. Because Joe has been a downright pain in the ass (and kind of creepy, to boot) since Jessica came out on the scene a decade and a half ago, and if being a pain in the ass doesn’t constitute some kind of punishment, then I don’t know what does.

Maybe a good six months behind bars will teach Joe not to be such a creepy, delusional letch of a control freak.

Jessica Simpson’s Dad Got Arrested

A photo of Joe Simpson and Jessica Simpson

From TMZ:

Joe Simpson – Jessica Simpson’s father — was arrested for DUI in L.A. … TMZ has learned.

According to law enforcement sources, 54-year-old Joe was busted on Ventura Blvd. in Sherman Oaks on August 4.

We’re told LAPD cops pulled Joe’s car over around 10 PM … and during the stop, officers got the feeling he was intoxicated and ultimately cuffed the famous pop and took him to the pokey.

Joe was booked and spent the rest of the night behind bars. He was released without having to post bail at 9:41 the following day.

The case has not been sent over to prosecutors in the L.A. City Attorney’s Office yet, but if criminal charges are filed, it’s likely Joe will not get any jail time since it’s his first offense.  He’ll probably end up with a big fat fine — something his daughter will have no problem paying.

Let’s not even waste time focusing on the negative here. Yeah, Joe Simpson, also known as Michael Lohan Lite, was drinking and driving and jailed, and that’s bad, but there’s a big huge silver lining that should shine past all that. You want to know what it is?

Picture it: Joe Simpson’s case does get sent to prosecutors. He has to go to court. He’s waiting for his turn to go on in and see the judge, when who does he see, waiting for the same exact thing? Amanda Bynes, who is no doubt in the exact same predicament. They make some nervous small talk while they wait, maybe he buys her a cup of coffee, and boom, a connection is made. Their connection gets deeper and deeper, their small talk turns to an easy conversation, and in those few minutes before Joe has to hear his fate, they fall in love.

And yeah, maybe Joe is still married. But as we’ve all learned, true love cannot be quelled. True love is something you have to chase after, no matter the consequences. And that’s how Amanda Bynes becomes Jessica and Ashlee Simpson‘s stepmother. BOOM.

Jessica Simpson’s Dad and I Don’t Approve of Jessica Simpson’s Fiance

A photo of Jessica Simpson and Joe Simpson

And believe you me, we’ve had plenty of long chats with Jess to try and convince her to change her mind, but it just doesn’t look like it’s working.  Jessica is going to go ahead and marry shady Eric Johnson, no matter what her father and I think. Honestly, kids these days.

Since Jessica’s dad Joe is such a sweetheart, he went ahead and told In Touch how we feel:

Wedding dress shopping? Check. Rings? Check. Location? Check. Seal of approval from the father of the bride? Not so much. Though Joe Simpson was intially a fan of Jessica Simpson’s fiance, Eric Johnson, the overprotective dad is now singing a different tune. It seems Eric’s unemployed status — the former pro-football player was in grad school for business before dropping out after meeting Jess — is causing some major concern: “It bothers Joe that Jessica is paying for everything and that Eric really doesn’t have a job,” reveals a friend. So much so that Joe is pressuring Jess to call off the wedding completely! “Joe thinks Jessica can do much better and that’s the bottom line,” adds the payl. Of course, the rift between the two most important men in Jessica’s life is making her upset and feel like she’s trapped in the middle. “Jessica is a daddy’s girl, so it bothers her that Joe no longer approves of Eric,” the friend explains. “She’s really torn.”

For real though, I don’t like this Eric character.  Like, for once, I don’t want to break something or vomit after a Joe Simpson statement, which I think speaks volumes all on its own.