Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Jessica Simpson

Jessica Simpson’s Boobs Are Probably Going to Explode

A photo of Jessica Simpson

So Jessica Simpson posted this photo on Twitter yesterday, and she captioned it “fun in the sun.” And I’m sure she was excited about her vacation, and I know she likes to share personal photos on Twitter, but all I can think about are her boobs. Does that make me a bad person?

I sort of have this fear of pregnancy boobs. See, my sister got pregnant with her first kid when I was 10, and I was convinced that it was my duty to read through all of the books that she got to teach her about that special time. So I read What to Expect When You’re Expecting in between The Babysitters Club, and I kept learning that during pregnancy, and then during nursing, your boobs can grow A LOT. I was already an early bloomer (one day in fifth grade I decided I didn’t want to wear a bra for once, and my teacher had to have a little talk with me about appropriateness), and I was already used to being teased for it, so I just got this horrible image of being ALL BOOB, and literally toppling over, and having everyone in the world call me Big Boob Girl, my beloved second grade nickname.

The fear stuck though, and while I don’t worry about toppling over anymore, I worry about having to buy new bras, which are stupid expensive now anyway, and having my clothes not fit right. Oh, and about my boobs strangling me in my sleep. You know, more realistic things.

But anyway, Jessica Simpson just reignites that terrible fear in me, but at the same time, hey, boobs. Everybody loves boobs. Come get you an eye full of boob!

Jessica Simpson is Pregnant on the Beach

photo of jessica simpson on the beach new pregnancy pictures
This is Jessica on her recent holiday trip to Hawaii, and she looks so great and so happy. As you guys probably already know, Jessica is expecting her second child, and if her mini-bump is any indication as to when we can expect the newest little Simpson Johnson (ha), it’s probably going to be right around the time that Jess gave birth to Baby Maxwell last year, which was May-ish, I believe.

I know I might be in the minority (especially since I have no affiliation with Weight Watchers), but I’m pretty stoked for Jessica and Eric. They were positively over the moon about Maxwell, and any further addition to their family, I’m sure, is only going to be welcomed with the same gusto and love that they apparently have for raising that adorable little Maxi.

Congratulations, friends!

So I Guess Jessica Simpson Is Pregnant Again

A photo of Jessica Simpson

I mean, we pretty much already knew that, but since Jessica Simpson tweeted this photo of her daughter Maxwell yesterday, I think we can go ahead and consider that rumor confirmed.

But let’s do some math real quick. Since Jessica waited so long last time to announce her pregnancy, I’m going to go ahead and assume that she at least waited the customary three months to announce this one. That means that she probably conceived sometime in September? Jeez. She had Maxwell in May. It’s like, give yourself some downtime, girl.

And for what it’s worth, Weight Watchers took the time to let Jessica Simpson know that they are so, so happy for her, and not at all angry.  Here’s what they posted on Twitter:

Congrats to @JessicaSimpson, Eric and big-sister-to-be Maxwell! Your WW family is so thrilled for you. What an amazing year you’ve had!

Oh, Jessica.