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Jessica Simpson

12Look, It’s Jessica Simpson’s Baby!

A photo of Jessica Simpson's baby, Maxwell Drew

I’m sure a time will come when I don’t show you guys every single picture that Jessica Simpson tweets of her baby, just like I’m sure there will come a time when we don’t have to give you guys a Katie Holmes update just so that you all know that she’s still alive. But today, as you can see, is certainly not that day.

LOOK AT HER CHUBBY LITTLE CHEEKS! Aww, you guys, she’s sitting outside in the garden like a grown up! And her precious little striped onesie with the little feet, and her little hands that you can’t really see in this picture but you know that they’re there because she’s a baby and she has adorable little baby hands! Maxwell Drew is just my favorite, she’s my absolute favorite.

Well, until next time, friends ….

July 17, 2012 at 2:30 pm by Emily
Filed Under: Jessica Simpson

1Happy Belated Birthday, Jessica Simpson!

photo of jessica simpson pictures birthday baby pics
Guess who turned thirty-two the other day? DUH! Jessica Simpson, whee! It was her first time celebrating a birthday as a mama, and for her special day, she chowed down with friends and family at a dinner party in her backyard.

From People:

… On Tuesday night, Simpson was the cause for celebration, at a backyard dinner party held at her L.A. home in honor of her 32nd birthday.

“Jessica was in heaven because she was celebrating for the first time as a mom!” a friend of the fashion mogul tells PEOPLE. “And Maxwell got to make a short appearance in her Fendi white dress.”

“Eric made a wonderful toast,” added the friend. Party guests included Simpson’s parents, her sister Ashlee Simpson, Ashlee’s son Bronx, and Simpson’s longtime pal Cacee Cobb.

Rachel Ashwell of Rachel Ashwell Shabby Chic Couture designed the party decor, replete with vintage china, tons of candles, fresh flowers and a chandelier above the star’s (covered!) swimming pool.

After guests dined on gnocchi with brown butter sage and pappardelle with yellow tomato sauce, everyone dug into short ribs with basil pesto pecorino and chili and pan-seared snapper. And in lieu of a traditional birthday cake, guests were served mini s’mores, pudding pies in mini mason jars and banana brown betties with ginger snap crumble for dessert.

Oh man, don’t even *tell* me that doesn’t sound like a night to die for. All that pasta and decadent dessert? God, I just love Jess because she’s so damn normal. In your f-cking EYE, Weight Watchers—my girl will do her thing at her own pace, and rightfully so.

Happy birthday, friend!

July 12, 2012 at 7:30 am by Sarah
Filed Under: Jessica Simpson

5Quotables: Kendra Wilkinson Wants You to Leave Jessica Simpson Alone

A photo of Kendra Wilkinson

“That just breaks my heart. I feel for her. I was in the same boat. People just need to mind their own business. That’s a woman who just gave birth.  Her first priority right now is her child. Her first priority is not losing the weight. You should be proud of her for that. A lot of people just dump their kids off at nannies and lose the weight overnight. We should all be proud of her for being real and taking control and making priorities.”

- Kendra Wilkinson tells it exactly like it is when it comes to Jessica Simpson‘s body.

I keep forgetting how much I appreciate Kendra Wilkinson, probably because I keep forgetting that Kendra Wilkinson exists. But I think she’s a surprisingly charming lady, and every friend of Jessica Simpson is a friend of mine.

Meanwhile, fellow Weight Watcher Jennifer Hudson had some words of her own for Jessica and new mothers everywhere:

“Try not to snack with the baby. My baby likes making cakes, and when you’re making a cake you always lick the stuff off your fingers. Those things, we don’t realize what we’re taking in. It helps if you write it down. Write down what you’re eating, you’ll be far more aware. And be active with the baby. Be active with them and you’ll stay in shape. There’s no workout like running around after a 2-year-old.”


Ok, obviously it’s important to be active with your kid. Based on my extensive experience in babysitting, I can’t imagine how you could have a kid and not be active. But really, Jennifer Hudson? You should stop in the middle of baking with your small child to write down any frosting that might have made its way to your mouth? What, like “hold on, baby, mama has to write down those five calories she just put in her mouth”? I get that a lot of people want to lose weight to feel stronger or whatever, but you know that a lot of people also lose weight to fit into society’s standards of beauty, and I get the feeling that Jennifer Hudson falls into that last category. So basically, ugh.

Kendra Wilkinson 1, Jennifer Hudson 0. Who would have ever thought, right?

July 12, 2012 at 5:30 am by Emily

21Jessica Simpson Belatedly Wishes You a Happy 4th of July!

photo of jessica simpson and family fourth of july pictures
The photo came out last night, and showed a glowing and always-lovely Jessica hugging on her fiance, Eric Johnson, and their very large, very serious-looking baby, Maxwell Drew.

And my oh my is that one very large and very serious-looking infant.

Anyway, a lot of you guys were saying that you were sick of seeing the slack-jawed photo of Jessica flaunting her ample cleavage, so I thought I’d dig something new up for you to get sick of instead. Because I love this photo *so much* that I’m probably going to run it with every Jessica Simpson-related post in the coming days and weeks.

Some of you might think I’m mocking this photo, but I’m really not. I mean, yeah, it could definitely be in the running for most awkward family photo of all time, but I’m not poking fun in a mean-spirited way. That’s just one serious-looking baby and dear heart Eric Johnson looks like he’s going to put our girl Jess in a choke-hold if she doesn’t smile big enough for the camera.

Here’s a photo of me with *my* newest baby on the Fourth, so in return for mocking Jessica’s family photo, I’m willing to allow myself to be subject to your mockery, as well. The husband was taking the photo, so he’s obviously not in it.

Pardon the messy (Anne Hathaway) hair and glasses. It was a holiday on which I did not have to work or do much of anything. I had no interest whatsoever in makeup and glitz and glam.

Happy Belated 4th of July from EVERYONE!

July 6, 2012 at 12:30 pm by Sarah
Filed Under: Jessica Simpson

9Us Weekly Says Jessica Simpson Was Drinking While Breastfeeding

photo of jessica simpson pictures breastfeeding drinking pics
From Us:

The scale has spoken – and it doesn’t have any good news for Jessica Simpson. A source tells Hot Stuff that Jessica learned at her first Weight Watchers weigh-in – a few weeks after the May 1 birth of daughter Maxwell – she had gained 70 pounds. Luckily, Jessica has $4 million worth of motivation to shed them.

Her contract requires a 20 to 30 pound loss by the end of August or no payday, says a source. But it won’t be easy.

“Jessica has always had issues with junk food,” says a Simpson pal. So Jessica has called in reinforcements: She enlisted her mom, Tina, and a few pals to do the program “to help keep herself in check,” says the insider. Simpson, who plans to breastfeed through July, also ditched her beloved high-calorie margaritas, adds the source. “She had a few drinks postpregnancy, but then stopped.”

I know it seems what Us did here was innocent enough, but guys. Come on. It totally wasn’t. Jess “also ditched her beloved high-calorie margaritas” and “Simpson, who plans to breastfeed through July”? They’re totally making us draw the conclusion that Jess had been drinking during her pregnancy and/or while breastfeeding her daughter, Maxwell Drew.

Now, I might be a little bit biased because I love Jessica so much, but this is just a low blow. If you’re going to out-and-out accuse the girl of imbibing and feeding her daughter the spoils of her breasts, just come out and say it. Don’t pussy-foot around it and pretend like that’s not what you’re trying to say, damn.

Do I think that Jess was drinking while breastfeeding, or even pregnant? Well, without knowing the girl personally, I’m going to go ahead and say ‘no’. I know a lot of people don’t give girlfriend a lot of credit when it comes to the brains department, but I don’t think that Jess is the type to do things that people are going to give her shit over, because why would she even want to hear it, let alone put her daughter at risk over something so trivial? No, I think if Jess really wanted to hit the cocktails, she would just stop breastfeeding and not care what people thought of her choice not to breastfeed—even if the choice was made because mom wanted to knock back a few adult beverages. It’s not like she’s ever really cared what anyone’s thought anyway, you know.

Can’t we just give this fine lady a break for a minute? God.

July 5, 2012 at 10:30 am by Sarah
Filed Under: Jessica Simpson

1Quotables: Jessica Simpson is Losing Jessica Simpson’s Baby Weight for Jessica Simpson and Only Jessica Simpson

photo of jessica simpson baby boobs pictures post-baby pic

“Just so everyone knows…Weight Watchers hasn’t put ANY pressure on me! I’m trying to be as healthy as I can be for myself and I feel great!”

Jessica Simpson, taking it to Twitter and dispelling rumors that she’s cranky, under pressure, and unhappy about her post-baby weight-loss life.

I sure hope Jess genuinely feels this way, because she’s way too much of a sweetheart to be worrying about these kinds of things when there are so many more important things to think about—like her baby, the man that she loves wholly (for whatever reason; her own, I guess), the good, positive things going on in her life, and above all, her bright future.

One thing I’ve learned in my twenty-nine years of life is that as you get older, the more important things present themselves to you in such a way that it’s hard not to take notice, and easier to disallow the trivial and petty things from dictating your every decision.

I’m so in your corner no matter what happens to you, Jess, and I think you’ve got a healthy way of dealing with everything that you’ve been dealt so far. Love you, girl!

June 28, 2012 at 12:30 pm by Sarah
Filed Under: Jessica Simpson
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