Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Jennifer Love Hewitt

Jennifer Love Hewitt Isn’t Unlucky in Love, Guys, Gosh

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People have gone and upset ‘The Client List’s Jennifer Love Hewitt, guys. She’s all upset that people are writing malicious things about her like that her boobs are fake, she’s “cursed” in love, and the like, and you know what? She’s so upset about it that she’s—surprise, surprise—gone to Twitter to vent her frustrations. Not only is she calling people out about haters, she’s also retweeting things like, “Is it going to take Superman to sweep me off my feet?” which is not exactly deterring people from wondering about her mental status regarding her relationship life.

Here’s the gist of JLH’s complaints:

“Read like 10 rumors about myself today! So crazy! My boobs are real, I’m not cursed in love, I had a vacation with friends and I’m single! I am down. Really hurt by all the people who judge me, write mean things, rumors etc. It’s so hurtful. It’s hard to keep your head up. This is what I did on vacation. Painted part of there (sic) school and met these great kids. No more rumors.”

Oh. Girl. Let’s just quit with the their/they’re/there misuse. It’s not helping out your case any, hon. And maybe if you’d quit favoriting Tweets that make you look like you’ll stalk any half-decent-looking dude who looks your way, people wouldn’t be so quick to judge you. On Twitter. On Twitter. Elsewhere, all bets are off.

Image courtesy of The Superficial

Stars Without Makeup: Jennifer Love Hewitt Takes Her Mom Out

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This is what Jennifer Love Hewitt did yesterday with her mom. And by “this,” I mean “I have no idea what and don’t particularly care, because she looks good and that’s what we keep Jennifer Love Hewitt around for and not her acting talent.”

My thing, though, is—would she consider this outing with her mom—Mother’s Day, so to speak—a special occasion? Because she’s still vagazzling, and it’s apparently reserved for special occasions:

During A and E Networks 2012 Upfront event on At Wednesday, ‘The Client List’ said that beneath her cleavage-bearing Alexander McQueen dress she was vajazzled because “it’s a special occasion.”

But she doesn’t stop there: she admitted to Access Hollywood that she desperately wants to be Anastasia in a film adaption of Fifty Shades of Grey:

“I wanna be Anastasia so badly.” … In the book, Anastasia is a young woman, who after taking over an assignment to interview eligible bachelor Christian Grey, ends up on an R-Rated journey. “I think it would be awesome. I think it would be really, really fun. I just started part of it,” she added, referring to the book. “And I’m saving the rest for my vacation in a month or so.”

So, didn’t I tell you guys, like, years ago that Jennifer Love here would soon be experiencing this certain sort of career revival? She’s on talk shows, this Client List thing is putting Lifetime networks back on the map for everyone not female and under fifty, and she’s looking hotter than ever before. I backed you then, girl, and I’m going to back you now … even if you are still a total flake.

Quotables: Adam Levine Calls Jennifer Love Hewitt “Aggressive”

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“I heard about that. That was aggressive. It was really sweet and flattering. Beautiful life, you know, when a beautiful woman says nice things about you.”

Adam Levine, during an interview where he was asked about the obligatory being-stalked-by-Jennifer Love Hewitt thing. And it wasn’t bad enough that he said “no f-cking way, girlfriend,” he had to go and add insult to injury by telling people that she’s all aggressive and what not.

I commend Jennifer for speaking out about what she wants, and if it were anyone other than Jennifer Love Hewitt, she might have a snowball’s chance in hell in looking forward-thinking and assertive, but guys. it’s Jennifer Love Hewitt. She tries to eat guys like this for breakfast, but they normally run screaming before her alarm goes off.

Poor Jennifer Love. She just can’t catch a man a break.