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Jay-Z

Well, This Story About Beyoncé and Jay-Z’s Former Longtime Bodyguard Will Make You Vomit

beyonce blue ivy

Every once in a while, a fucked up story comes along that makes you lose your faith in humanity. Well, in the regular news that happens nearly on a daily basis – but even the celebrities aren’t exempt. Let’s go back to a CDAN blind item from back in February:

Remember how back in the day Tiger Woods traded cover stories so that his infidelities could be hidden? Well, an A++ list celebrity has reached a similar deal and is appearing on a cover that she would have laughed at a year ago until she passed out from laughing so hard. The thing is, the parent company of the magazine was offered some information about the celebrity. Disturbing information. About a long time employee. About the employee being caught pleasuring himself to photos of our celebrity and her infant daughter. Yeah, it is pretty sick. There is video of the incident that was taken by a woman he paid to have sex with. They are both drunk in the video but he talks about how he works for the celebrity and was her very first employee and has been with her forever and the hooker went to sell the story and the publishing company loved it. Was going to buy it and reached out to the people of the celebrity and they traded. Cover stories for a block on the publication of the photos and video. The celebrity also got together with her A++ list husband and they paid the hooker a great deal of money to go away. So, in the next couple of months when you see a cover and go wtf, now you know why.

Well, turns out that person was Beyoncé and Jay-Z‘s former bodyguard, Norman Oosterbroek – yes, the same one who was recently shot and killed by police in Miami. And yes, that means he was caught jerking off over Blue Ivy’s passport – a fucking baby. What a sicko.

The NY Daily News posted a bit more about things:

Oosterbroek’s life spiraled out of control in the past months after he lost his job looking out for Jay, Bey and their daughter, Blue Ivy. It all fell apart after the power couple discovered the hulking guard had hired the services of a prostitute while on duty for them in Las Vegas, a source tells us.

The duo also allegedly discovered photographic and video evidence showing Oosterbroek using the family’s passports in a lewd act.

The story was first uncovered by a major print publication last year, which approached Jay Z and Beyoncé for comment. The couple then made a deal to ensure the story never saw the light of day, according to our source.

“Beyoncé and Jay Z were furious when they found out,” said the source. “They trusted Norman with their lives and then he went and did some pretty freaky things, and on video with a hooker. They were outraged.”

Once they found out about his behavior, the couple didn’t feel safe allowing Oosterbroek around their daughter, so they cut him loose, the source tells us.

“They really thought Norman was now a danger to Blue Ivy,” says the source. “From what I understand he was devastated, because a lot of people in the industry knew that he couldn’t be trusted and not to hire him.”

Dear God, what a sicko! Also, I love that his depression stemmed from not being able to get a job rather than from the fact that he was sick enough to jerk off over an infant’s picture. What is wrong with the world?

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Jay-Z Is Totally Down-to-Earth, Says Justin Timberlake

justin timberlake jay-z

If Justin Timberlake could pucker up any harder to kiss Jay-Z‘s ass, he’d give himself a hernia. Sure, they collaborated on Magna Carta Holy Grail and they’re “friends”, but take it down a few notches, bro. Now Justin is insisting that Jay-Z is nothing like his on stage persona of some hardened thug or something (which… that’s definitely not his persona anymore) and he’s actually just a cool, normal guy and is actually acting when he’s performing.

From T Magazine:

“I try to talk to people about how much acting goes into music, how much of a character goes into what you put on stage.

“You ever sit down with Jay? He’s not the guy he is on stage. I’m not the guy I am on stage. I am a performer. It’s an elevated idea.”

Thanks, Captain Obvious. I mean… I dunno, am I missing something? Jay-Z is a great rapper and he clearly lives the lifestyle of flashing his money about and being a “boss” when not performing. So what? As for Justin, I don’t see a “persona” there, I see a singer… singing songs. It’s not like Lady GaGa or someone who puts on elaborate stage production and dresses up in wigs and costumes and shit, so I don’t know that this applies.

That being said, I like both JT and Jay-Z, I just kinda don’t get his point.

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Beyoncé and Jay-Z Apparently Spent $31,000 on Booze in Five Days

beyonceBeyoncé and Jay-Z recently took a yacht for a little cruise in the Mediterranean last week, where they apparently spent over $31,000 on alcohol in the span of five days. Nice – I guess that fits the description of diva behaviour. According to The Sun, the pair loaded up on Belvedere vodka, Rémy Martin cognac, plus Dom Perignon and Armand de Brignac champagne – all of which are quite expensive, I suppose. I dunno, I don’t drink.

What’s hilarious is that all of their money went on the alcohol and not on food, because on board they apparently kept chicken nuggets, hot dogs, Skippy peanut butter and Cheerios. Wow – that’s pretty high brow food! Don’t worry, there’s no hateration from my end – that’s all good eats, as far as I’m concerned. The issue here is the $31k on alcohol. I can think of SO MANY THINGS to do with that kind of money and not one of them involves alcohol. Here’s my short list:

1. Finish paying off my student loans
2. Get some new clothes for winter
3. Go on vacation!
4. Go for dinner at Heston Blumenthal’s Fat Duck in Berkshire
5. Buy my dog a deluxe dog house

I could go on and on, but you get the drift. What would you spend $31k on?

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Here’s Jay-Z and Justin Timberlake’s video for ‘Holy Grail’

Jay-Z (oh, I’m sorry – Jay Z?) released his latest album, Magna Carta Holy Grail, earlier this summer to mixed reviews. I really like 1/4 of it, like about 1/2 of it and the rest I’ll skip whenever it comes up on my iTunes, but that’s neither here nor there. Jay worked with quite a few other artists on this record, and the opening track – aptly titled ‘Holy Grail’ – features Justin Timberlake. That song is the new single, and now there’s a video for it! Woo hoo!

Here’s a random question: do any of you actually really like music videos as a medium? I ask because I never have. I don’t think they add anything new to the music and I often find them distracting or disappointing. I don’t really have an opinion on this one either way, but I just don’t “get” music videos as a whole. I know they can be another medium for an artist to express his/her “vision”, but I dunno. Just doesn’t do it for me. If you’re a big music video fan, why do you like them? Shed some light!

Jay-Z Is Officially Dropping The Hyphen From His Name, I Guess

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In what may be the most pointless story you’ll read today, Jay-Z has apparently decided to permanently drop the hyphen in his name to become Jay Z. No reason was given behind the decision (perhaps because whatever they came up with would be really stupid?) but it is what it is. Billboard editor Joe Levy announced the “news” on his Twitter page yesterday, whereupon lots of fans told him that this isn’t the first time Jay has tried this (even though it didn’t work the last time):


I mean, does this honestly matter? Is it honestly something people feel like wasting time on doing? He’s rich – does anything else matter? (LOL!)

Jay-Z and Timbaland Fought, Then Made Up

jay-z timbaland

Jay-Z and Timbaland worked together back in 2009 on The Blueprint III but had a bit of a falling out, if you will, after it dropped. I guess songs got leaked and Jay-Z thought that was Timbaland’s fault and all hell broke loose. Then Jay-Z wanted to make up but Timbaland was being a big baby and wouldn’t listen and then finally they did make up and Tim produced most of Magna Carta Holy Grail (which is a great album, by the way).

From BBC Radio 1 with Zane Lowe (via DS):

“The fallout happened at the end of that album,” Jay-Z said. “A couple of songs were getting leaked, and it just ruined that whole process.

“Kanye [West] was like ‘let’s get Tim in’ [for Magna Carta Holy Grail], we were all inviting him and he just wasn’t accepting to the process.

“It seemed like it was more about him than the actual album.”

He continued: “When you make an album you have to put all egos aside for the sake of the project. That was almost like a last-straw type of thing and we went our separate ways.”

Jay-Z and Timbaland eventually reunited and worked together on his new album Magna Carta Holy Grail, with Timbaland producing 11 out of 16 tracks.

He added: “When he came back he had this new maturity and this growth and I was like ‘OK, this is gonna work out’.”

Cool story, bro. Literally. Timbaland does some okay stuff sometimes and it’s always nice when people can put their differences aside for the greater good. What can I say – I’m feeling pretty zen this morning.

Jay-Z and Beyoncé Bought North West $7,500 Worth of Gifts

kim kardashian beyonce kanye west jay-z

I don’t know if Jay-Z and Beyoncé are gunning to be the godparents of North West or what, but they apparently bought Kim Kardashian and Kanye West‘s new baby $7,500 worth of presents just for being born. WHAT?

From The Sun:

KANYE WEST and KIM KARDASHIAN’s ludicrously named nipper North won’t have the shame of a third-hand Scotland strip to worry about – especially not with superstar family pals like BEYONCE and JAY-Z.

The couple showed up at gran KRIS JENNER’s Beverly Hills gaff with more than £5,000 ($7,500) of presents for the nipper.

They brought a load of posh baby gear to commemorate the birth, including personalised Christian Dior baby booties.

They also splashed out on a three-piece sterling silver Elsa Peretti Padova baby set with North’s name engraved on each item.

The fork, spoon and cup set is one of the most popular baby gifts sold by fancy jeweller Tiffany’s.

A source said: “Kanye is one of Jay-Z’s closest friends so he wanted to get the best gift. They’ve had a girl themselves, so they know the right type of present.

“They also brought their baby girl Blue Ivy to come over and meet North.

“She’s old enough now to be really interested in babies. Any bad blood between the ladies has all been brushed under the carpet now Kim’s a mum – Beyonce was even sharing weight-loss tips with her.”

Christian Dior baby booties? WHY? What a colossal waste of money, considering the kid is going to grow out of them in, like, a month. I really don’t get why celebrities feel the need to spend so much money on such dumb things. I’ve always said that even if (WHEN – I’m Secret-ing that shit) I get rich, I’ll still be shopping at Target and looking for bargains because I’m cheap as hell. I mean, there’s certain things I’ll splash out on – I like gadgets and fancy computers and stuff – but beyond that, I’ll be clipping coupons. (I kid, I’m not quite that bad.)

Anyway, I guess it’s nice to see that poor little North West won’t be going without.