From The New York Post:
Jay-Z and Beyoncé missed the Oscars, and instead had dinner with Sarah Jessica Parker in New York on Sunday night. The music power couple joined the “Sex and the City” star and five others for a long meal at Freemans on the Lower East Side. “They completely blew off the Oscars,” said a source, adding, “They didn’t even have it on a TV screen. They were there until well after 1 a.m. with their friends, laughing and eating.” Bey’s sister Solange, however, was seen partying at Vanity Fair’s LA bash.
I love that this is a story, and that Beyoncé and Jay-Z deciding not to go to the Oscars is seen as a personal insult to the entire Academy Awards. I mean, they didn’t even watch it! Take that, Oscars! I suppose adding insult to injury is the fact that they were having dinner with Sarah Jessica Parker instead (weird combination, don’t you think?), but for the record, SJP is a really nice lady – and a very, very tiny one, as it were.
I have to say – I don’t blame Bey & Jay for skipping out on the Oscars, for the following reasons:
1. It’s in LA. Los Angeles blows – the traffic, the weather… I’ll pass. (Sorry, Angelinos!)
2. You have to get dressed in fancy things, wear Spanx and get your hair & makeup done – sweatpants with one leg cut to fit the leg cast you had on for 6 weeks and a stained Napoleon Dynamite hoodie that you got for $5 at Kohl’s back in 2002 won’t cut it. (Yes, that’s my wardrobe right now.)
3. So long! You have to walk the red carpet and smile and stop for pictures and then, when that’s finally over, you have to go inside and sit through a whole long ceremony that’s never funny and features mostly people you don’t give a shit about. Ugh, is it over yet?
4. There are after-parties, which you’re expected to attend when all you really want to do is have your limo driver stop at the McDonald’s drive-thru before going back to your hotel room, pulling the black-out curtains and watching a Sandra Bullock movie on TNT while eating your chicken nuggets in peace.
I rest my case.
February 27, 2013 at 12:30 pm by Jennifer
There she is in all her glory: the new messiah, Blue Ivy Carter! Sure, we’ve seen dozens of blurry paparazzi photos of Beyoncé and Jay-Z‘s golden child, but this is the real deal. I mean, this is the child so special that she could talk right out of the womb and even her shit-filled diapers are magical.
The picture is a still taken from Bey’s HBO documentary Life Is But a Dream, which airs tonight. Damn, Blue looks like her father, don’t you think? It’s pretty hilarious how much attention this baby has received – nearly as much as the forthcoming royal arrival of Wills & Kate. Maybe it’s the intense secrecy that surrounded Beyoncé’s pregnancy (I know, conspiracy theorists – I see you there) that increased the interest about the little one, but whatever, it’s a baby and it’s cute. Let’s just leave it at that.
February 16, 2013 at 12:00 pm by Jennifer
I’ve got to hand it to Amanda Bynes, who continues to take it to the next level at every available opportunity with pure, unadulterated f-ckery. I don’t pretend to know what goes through her head when she does stuff like piercing her face or hit-and-running, and I certainly don’t know what in the hell possessed her to get on Twitter and call Jay-Z ugly.
Of course, she later thought better of whatever the hell that was and decided to delete it, but not before it was picked up by plenty of sites, all of which are wondering the same thing: what is wrong with this girl? Also, why choose a paparazzi photo with someone else’s head in the way to insult someone with? The mind boggles on so many levels.
February 8, 2013 at 10:30 am by Jennifer
It’s kind of hard to dislike Kylie Minogue. She makes fantastic pop music and has done so for several decades now, does a lot of charity work, overcame cancer, works damn hard and is adorably pint-sized. She’s great – even though The Abbey Road Sessions was a terrible idea. In any case, I’m a fan, which is why it was exciting when Jay-Z announced this week that he’d signed her to Roc Nation.
From Jay’s Life & Times blog:
“Roc Nation would like to welcome Aussie singer, recording artist, songwriter, actress and designer Kylie Minogue to the family. In a career now spanning 25 years, Kylie has released 11 studio albums, two live CDs, eight live concert DVDs, a greatest hits double album, and multiple video packages. She has released over 50 hit singles worldwide, including the Grammy-winning Come Into My World, and has sold more than 68 million albums worldwide. Needless to say, we’re excited to have Kylie join the Roc fam.”
It might seem like an odd pairing, but Jay-Z is known for his eclectic tastes, and this could be amazing. Maybe Kylie will go hip hop! Maybe Jay-Z will become a gay icon! The opportunities are endless.
February 7, 2013 at 7:30 am by Jennifer
Did you enter last week’s Caption This contest? If so, you may have won some free shit! Check it out, and if you’re the winner, PLEASE check your email (or email me at the address to the right) or you’ll lose out on a prize! We’ll be choosing the winner for the above photo next Tuesday, so make sure to check back to find out who it is – and make sure you enter!
The winner on last week’s Justin Bieber photo:
“Just keep smiling for the camera and the usher tickets are yours!”
Runner Up: J.R.
“Justin’s version of ‘tit for tat’.”
Congrats, Lindy! Now the rest of you – get captioning!
February 5, 2013 at 10:44 am by Jennifer
From Blind Gossip:
We aren’t easily surprised, but this one definitely shocked us.
These two celebrity couples have been known to hang out together. The wives are especially close friends.
The first wife is a beautiful, award-winning Actress who has also done some singing on TV and in films. The second wife is an beautiful, award-winning Singer who has also done some acting on TV and in films. Both women’s husbands are also famous and very successful in the entertainment industry.
Well, two of these people are even closer than we thought. It turns out that the Actress has hooked up several times with the Singer’s husband in the past few years.
This surprised us for several reasons. First, because the two women are practically best friends, and their friendship would end if the Singer ever found out. Second, because all of these people travel and are photographed so much that it would take some crazy planning to have an affair without anybody noticing. And third, because the Actress had a history of dating very attractive guys when she was a single lady… and the Singer’s husband doesn’t exactly fall into that category.
So this is pretty clear, right? Gwyneth Paltrow is the actress who sings sometimes, Beyonce is the singer who acts sometimes. They’re total besties. The actress’ history of dating very attractive dudes, that’s Brad Pitt. Nobody calls Jay-Z pretty. It’s pretty simple, isn’t it?
But while I don’t have any doubts that this is what the blind item is about, I kind of don’t believe it. I just really, really can’t see Gwyneth Paltrow and Jay-Z boning. Can you? Can you even try? I started to, but then my brain kind of shut down, like it was telling me that I was about to unnecessarily hurt myself.
What do you guys think about this?