And I’m barely exaggerating when I say “all the celebrities.” There’s Ben Stiller, Matt Damon, Sean Penn, Kristen Wiig, Ted Danson, Mary Steenburgen, Jack Black, and Kevin Spacey. Did I miss anyone? Oh, Bill Clinton. Goodness
You know, I like Jack Black. I actually partied with him – OK, OK, near him – once. It was February or March of 2004, and I was hanging out in this shady bar on Bourbon Street in New Orleans called Fat Catz with a few of my friends. We’d all decided to do Mardi Gras for the first time that year and I think it was, like, our second day there or something. Or maybe it was the second hour, I don’t know – there’s no true sense of time during Mardi Gras with all of that alcohol, really, so I suppose either could be true. Anyway, as we were drinking our huge geaux cups of buy-one-get-two-free Hurricanes (and as a sidebar, they weren’t even good ones – they were like fruit punch Kool Aid with a buttload of liquor; if you want decent ones, go to Pat O’Briens – word) a guy with an entourage of about six people came in, and everyone around was sort of backed up a foot or two as they passed through. I was totally in a state of inebriation, but as Jack passed (he’s a short dude, guys – he wasn’t much taller than me), he kind of threw me a roguish wink and made his space at the bar. He was sort of locked in for the rest of the time by his flankers, so I couldn’t exactly open up a dialogue with him, but it was pretty cool nonetheless.
Do you remember when Bing Crosby and my number one favorite human, David Bowie, did this “Little Drummer Boy/Peace on Earth” number? Or if you weren’t around in 1977, do you remember when you cut your math class to hang out with the cool librarian and print off Buffy fan fiction and listen to music on Myspace, and you came across the song? Wasn’t that such a wonderful experience?
Jack Black and Jason Segel felt the same way, so they went ahead and covered it. You can buy the song on the iTunes, with proceeds going to a charity that helps out military families during the holidays. It’s a classic win-win-win situation, and there’s a cartoon to boot.
Pa rum pa pum pum, y’all.
Sunday’s Monsters vs Aliens premiere was a veritable who’s who of people you’re not supposed to be attracted to, but probably are.
There were a few who walked the red (or rather, blue) carpet that would be considered mainstream-acceptably hot (Kiefer Sutherland, Paul Rudd, Reese Witherspoon). But there were just as many celebrities about whom many of you have probably had the occasional raunchy dream, but were too embarrassed to tell anyone. I can tell you from my own dreams that Seth Rogen is very gentle and Hugh Laurie’s beard tickles. Rainn Wilson and Jack Black are on a few of your lists, I’m sure. Hell, maybe some of you are even attracted to that big, blue, animated blob.
Personally, I love Reese’s dress. But I can also see how some people would think it looks like scraps of Christmas wrapping paper sewn together.