Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Ivana Trump

Where Is PETA When You Need Them?


Look, I’m not usually one of those “fur is murder BLAAAAARGH” people, but you have to admit that there’s something upsetting about Ivana Trump wearing what essentially amounts to an entire ecosystem. Especially when you consider that she probably spent upwards of $20K to cover herself in all that carcass, and she still couldn’t shell out for a fucking pantsuit that fits. Unless having your jacket buttons stretch and rip against your midsection is what we’re considering fashion-forward these days.

This whole outfit is in such horrid taste. BLARGH.

At Paris Fashion Week.

A Class Act!

Ivana Trump announced her separation from her fourth husband just days ago, and last night she showed up at some awards show in Paris, attached to a 22-year-old model named John-David.

Part of me wants to be like “Rock on, Ivana! Don’t let age stop you! It never stops the rich guys!!” But then a part of me, like, really hurts for her, and wishes she’d take some time to figure out whatever the hell it is she’s been looking for in all these marriages.

I mean, I get it, Ivana, I like having sex with male models, too — it’s a lot of fun and it’s a total ego boost — but, Christ, I don’t marry them, or even really take them out in public. Because, as a general rule, the prettier a boy is, the less he’s got to offer in every other aspect of his existence. It’s not a firm law, but it’s a good guideline. Why don’t you take some time for yourself, and then look for a man who’s your own age, and who can appreciate you for all you’ve endured and triumphed over. You have an incredible life story. Find someone who respects that. Because this shit just can’t be healthy.

Ivana Trump Separates from Fourth Husband

Ivana Trump announced today that she did, in fact, file separation papers from her fourth husband, Rossano Rubicondi, about three months ago.

“Rossano wants to live in Miami and work in Milan,” she said. “But, I am a New Yorker and my family, friends and businesses are here. As the beautiful song says, ‘Que sera sera!’”

When asked why she was just now announcing the separation, Ivana said — and this is not a joke — that she didn’t want to ruin Rubicondi’s chances as a contestant on the Italian edition of the reality TV show Survivor.

These people’s lives are so surreal.