Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Hillary "2008" Clinton

Getting Out the Drunk, Gay Vote

Chelsea Clinton at at GLBT Gayboorhood Pub Crawl, Pictures, Photos

Here’s Chelsea Clinton at the GLBT Gayboorhood Pub Crawl in Philadelphia, supporting Hillary’s run for President.

It’s awesome that they sent Chelsea out to support this event. It’s cool to see the daughter of a Presidential candidate sporting an LGBT sticker at a campaign event, and it indicates that we’ve come a long way in terms of public support for gay rights.

Still, it would have been even cooler to have Hillary there wearing that sticker. We have plenty of room to grow, I suppose.

Look Who’s Still Funny

Hillary continues to promote her new campaign platform — “Hillary Clinton: Not Actually An Evil Robot” — with an appearance on the Tonight Show where she makes yet another funny.

“I was worried I wasn’t going to make it — I was pinned down by sniper fire at the Burbank airport,” she says about 30 seconds in.

I actually think Hillary Clinton probably does have a great sense of humor. But comedic timing and delivery isn’t really her forte. It’s cute that she’s trying, though. I think it actually accomplishes the goal she has in mind — to humanize Hillary Clinton in the minds of the American voters — but not in the way she intended. Instead of being like, “Oh my gosh, Hillary Clinton is so funny, I had no idea,” I’m like, “Oh my gosh, Hillary Clinton is bad at something. How cute is that!” It’s like in My Best Friend’s Wedding when Cameron Diaz gets up to sing and she’s just so damn horrible but the whole thing actually makes you like her more? Hillary Clinton’s jokes are like Cameron Diaz’s bad singing.

Hillary Clinton and Angelina Jolie Probably Shouldn’t Mate


Because it turns out they’re ninth cousins.

And Brad Pitt? He’s a ninth cousin of Barack Obama.


Only on a slow news day, people. Only on a slow news day.

Pitt and Obama are ninth cousins, linked by Edwin Hickman, who died in Virginia in 1769, the researchers found.

Clinton … and Jolie, meanwhile, are ninth cousins, twice removed because they are both related to Jean Cusson who died in St. Sulpice, Quebec, in 1718.


And I went to elementary school with John McCain’s daughter. No, really, I did. She was a couple of years below me. I was her 4th grade reading buddy. She wore big red glasses and she was adorable. I’m gonna call my PR agency. We oughtta issue a press release on a slow news day.

Eva Longoria Wants Hillary for President

Eva Longoria at Hillary Clinton Town Hall Meeting in Texas, Pictures, Photos

Celebs are coming out en masse to make it clear that Barack Obama is not the only Hollywood candidate.

Eva Longoria spoke on Monday at a Town Hall meeting in Texas to support Hillary Clinton.

“As a native of Texas, I know our state and our nation face big challenges ahead of us,” she said. “Hillary has proven she has the strength and experience to deliver the change we need.”

The Texas primary is taking place today. I tried really hard (well, for at least five minutes) to find exit polling data to report to you guys, but I got really confused really fast. Does anyone know who’s ahead right now in Texas?