27Heidi Klum Is Temporarily Not Pregnant

Enjoy this moment, folks, because it won’t last long. For a brief, shining moment in time, Heidi Klum is without fetus. That’s because she gave birth to her 800th baby, a girl, on October 9. I think it’s funny that her husband is named Seal, because she has the gestation period of a whale. This woman is just perennially knocked up. Seal released the following statement on Monday night. I have added my own notes in parentheses.

It’s difficult to imagine loving another child as much as you love your existing children. [Even the all-white one?] Anyone who has a family will tell you this. [Michael Lohan would tell you he loves Lindsay most, and when Jon Gosselin drinks he admits Alexis is his favorite.] Where will one find that extra love? [Your wife has some room in her uterus now; check there.] If you love your existing children with all of your heart, how then can one possibly find more heart with which to love another? [Once again: Use uterus space instead.] On Friday, Oct. 9, 2009, at 7:46 p.m., the answer to this question came in the form of our fourth child and second daughter. [I hope you gave her a girl name.] Lou Sulola Samuel was born, and from the moment she looked into both of our eyes, it was endless love at first sight. [You did not give her a girl name.] She is beautiful beyond words and we are happy that she chose us to watch her grow over the coming years.

Congrats to the happy family. I’d celebrate by running a photo of a not-pregnant Heidi, but I’m not sure we have any.

October 13, 2009 at 12:40 am by Evil Beet

11Total Cuteness

A very pregnant Heidi Klum, along with hubby Seal, takes Leni and Henri to LAX. The family’s headed to NYC. My gosh, if I were Heidi, I’d be afraid to fly at this point. She looks like she could pop at any minute — although she’s not due until October.

August 5, 2009 at 10:35 pm by Evil Beet

6No Wonder She Looks So Good

Heidi Klum was photographed leaving a New York hotel eating — what else? — an apple.  Boy, if that were me it would have been a box of Limited Edition Shrek Twinkies clutched in my hand.  But that’s why Heidi Klum gains approximately eight pounds per pregnancy and I’m still working on losing baby weight after almost three years. 

Anyway, she’s looking healthy and great and might be the only woman I’ve ever seen who makes flip-flops look like a good idea.  I expect her to be on the front of Playboy six weeks postpartum.

July 14, 2009 at 1:19 pm by Wendie

29Karl Lagerfeld: Officially An Idiot

Chanel headKarl Lagerfeld doesn’t know when to stop scaring people talking. 

Lagerfeld has implied in the past that Klum is too fat to be a model and now has admitted that he actually doesn’t even know her.  “I don’t know her. Claudia Schiffer doesn’t know her.  She was never in Paris, we don’t know her.”   Gee…what do you think Karl is trying to say?  Do you think he means he doesn’t knowher?  By the way, what his redundancy translates to is:  ”Heidi Klum is too fat for me to acknowledge as a professional or as a human being.”

Anyway, if that wasn’t enough, Klum’s husband Seal wasn’t safe from Lagerfeld’s musings either.  About the singer , who suffers from a condition called discoid lupus erythematosus which causes facial scarring, Lagerfeld said, “ I am no dermatologist but I wouldn’t want his skin.  Mine looks better than his. He is covered in craters.”

Incidentally, Claudia Schiffer may not know Heidi Klum, but she knows where she shops.

June 15, 2009 at 7:20 am by Wendie

8Baby No.4 to be the Last for Heidi & Seal

There’s just something about Heidi Klum & Seal’s marriage that gives me the warm and fuzzies. In a recent interview with US Weekly, Heidi talked about discovering that she was pregnant for the fourth, and most likely final, time:

“Yeah, I kind of knew. You feel your body change and I’ve done it three times before. Then I got the proof from the doctor and it was wonderful. Seal had the biggest smile. He said, ‘Here we go, one more time!’ Because all this time, we’ve said, ‘Okay, one more and that’s it.’ We said that after Leni and Henry. When Johan was born, I still didn’t feel like I was done. When we looked around the table, it was like one person was missing. So we’ve been, you know, having fun as a couple. And that’s how No. 4 came about. But that will be it.”

Heidi also said that although they’d be happy with either a boy or a girl, they’re kind of hoping for another girl, to be a little sister to daughter Leni, 5.

The due date, in November, is very close to the date of the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show–meaning that unless VC is debuting a new line of maternity pads, Heidi probably won’t be strutting her stuff in her skivvies for this year’s show.

April 25, 2009 at 12:15 pm by Kelly

18This Explains the Baggy Clothes!!!

Remember how Heidi Klum was basically wearing eight layers of sweatshirts in these photos? And I said that I’d assume she was pregnant except for she looked relatively bump-less in photos taken a couple weeks earlier???

Well, I guess she’d just recently started to show!

Because Heidi is pregnant with her FOURTH child, and her third with hubby Seal. She’s a little under four months pregnant, according to sources.

Congrats Heidi!

April 15, 2009 at 7:20 pm by Evil Beet