Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Heidi Klum

Heidi Klum Is a Hero, Saves Son and Nannies From Drowning

[Image removed by request]

Uh, what the hell, Heidi Klum? Out at the beach with her kids and nannies, the supermodel and Project Runway host’s 7-year-old son Henry and the two nannies were caught in a rip tide. Lucky for them, she’s a bit of a superhero and managed to save them all from the waters.

From Entertainment Tonight:

“We got pulled into the ocean by a big wave. Of course, as a mother, I was very scared for my child and everyone else in the water. Henry is a strong swimmer and was able to swim back to land. We were able to get everyone out safely.”

Damn – good on you, girl. Well, and boyfriend/bodyguard Martin Kristen, who was also on the scene. Too bad Seal wasn’t around, yeah? He’s a pro in the water. Get it? Seal? Water?

Ugh, I’ll show myself out. More photos of Heidi’s rescue over at ET online!

Oh So You Mean Heidi Klum is Fornicating With the Help?

Heidi Klum was yesterday’s guest on Katie Couric’s new show, Katie, and remember how Seal was all pissed off that his not-yet-ex-wife was “caught” fornicating with the help? Well apparently, Seal’s not-yet-ex-wife was fornicating with the help. From the mouth of Heidi:

“He’s been with our family for the last four years. He’s cared for our entire family, mostly for our four children, helped us tremendously. I trust him with my children’s life. He’s a great man, you know, and we just got to know each other from a completely different side. It [the relationship] just started.”

The “he” in question is Martin Kristen, who is Heidi’s personal bodyguard, and yes, they are f-cking. Heidi says about Seal’s accusations:

“Yes, he [Seal] has a very unique choice of words. I’m used to them. I don’t know. I don’t love that. Obviously, it’s not true. I’ve never looked at another man while I was with him. And it’s hard when you think that he thinks that, you don’t know … he was hurt … He’s moved on. When we separated he’s moved on and so have I. And it’s very hard when you start seeing somebody again, you know. All of a sudden. It’s hard then when everyone is watching you. It’s almost like you can’t have a real proper chance in a way. And I do want to date again. I’m turning 40. I don’t even know where it’s [the new relationship] going to go.”

So Seal was all pissed off when he found out that Heidi had moved on so quickly, and threw her under the bus. Then, when confronted by Heidi, Seal changed his tune, saying, “Yeah, no, Heidi didn’t cheat on me (that I’m, like, aware of), and what I meant is that she didn’t wait to move on ’til we were officially divorced.” But last I checked, neither did Seal, so … Whatever, Seal. Just whatever.

Seal Wants You to Know That Heidi Klum Never Cheated on Him

A photo of Heidi Klum and Seal

You guys. Hush. Heidi Klum, never, not once, cheated on Seal throughout their whole entire marriage. What a horrible thing to say. Why would you even think that? Oh, because that’s what Seal told us this weekend, that “the answer” to the question that’s plagued us all – why did this perfect love fall apart? – is that Heidi didn’t “show a little more class” and didn’t even wait “until we separated first before deciding to fornicate with the help.” That’s why we thought that.

And even though Seal’s claim seems pretty straightforward, it’s not. We’re all a bunch of dummies for misunderstanding Seal, and now Seal’s rep has to set us all straight:

After remarks Seal made during an airport interview regarding his estranged wife Heidi Klum and her bodyguard Martin Kirsten were picked up far and wide this weekend, a rep for the British singer issued a statement to PEOPLE.

“Seal would like to clarify that he was not implying his wife was cheating on him while they were together,” said the statement. “But rather he was pointing out that they are separated and the divorce is not final so they are legally still married.”

I understand that this poor rep here is just trying to calm everyone down, but yeah, that’s the silliest statement I’ve ever read. Seal’s original statement was very clear, and after he accused Heidi of cheating, he said “I guess you all now have the answer you have been looking for for the last seven months.” There’s really no other way to interpret that, is there?

And I do understand the point that this statement is trying to make, but I think it just makes things worse. Now the idea is that Seal is not a man who was devastated by his beloved wife’s decision to have an affair, he’s a douchebag who feels the need to comment on every dude his ex gets with after him. He wasn’t being catty to the woman who cheated on him, he was just being a total dick. “Fornicated with the help.” Honestly.

And on top of everything else, how am I even supposed to listen to “Kiss from a Rose” now without feeling nauseous?