Today's Evil Beet Gossip
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Grammy Fashion 2013

The 55th Annual Grammy Awards happened last night and all that means to me is that we get to “Ooh!” and “Ahh!” and “WTF?” over what everyone was wearing. There were guidelines this year for what attendees could and could not wear. I mean, really! Here are some highlights:

Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered. Thong type costumes are problematic. [...] Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible ‘puffy’ bare skin exposure.

Hee hee, puffy! That’s some creative phrasing.

So let’s get to some standouts, for better or for worse.

carly rae jepsen grammy dress

Singer Carly Rae Jepsen may have finally redeemed herself in my eyes after that diabolical BCBG nightmare of an outfit she wore at the 2012 Billboard Music Awards. (Rumor has it someone was fired over that outfit. I hope so.)

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Pre-Grammy Fashion: A Gallery of Trashy Dresses!

A photo of Miley Cyrus at the 2011 Pre-Grammy Gala

I don’t know, maybe I’m just overly critical of red carpet fashion, or maybe it’s the pearl-clutching Southern girl in me, but there was a Pre-Grammy gala yesterday, and a lot of people just looked trashy.  It looks like someone sent out a memo to the ladies that the theme for the gala was “Dumb, Slutty, or Animal Print,” and everyone just went with it except Jennifer Hudson, because she’s too classy for that, Kathy Griffin, because she doesn’t give a fuck, and Jordin Sparks, because she’s not relevant enough to warrant a memo.  I’m right, right?

What Do You Think About The 2011 Grammy Nominees?

The 2011 Grammy nominations were announced last night and it’s my inclination to say that I’m disappointed by the nominees, but I dunno. It could be worse.

Here are some the nominees in some of the top categories (the full list is here):

Song Of The Year:
Ray Montagne- Beg Steal Or Borrow
Cee Lo Green- Forget You
Miranda Lambert- House That Built Me
Eminem Feat. Rihanna- Love The Way You Lie
Lady Antebellum- Need You Now

Best New Artist:
Justin Bieber
Drake
Florence & The Machine
Mumford & Suns
Esperanza Spalding

Album Of The Year:
Arcade Fire- Suburbs
Eminem- Recovery
Lady Antebellum- Need You Now
Lady GaGa- The Fame Monster
Katy Perry- Teenage Dream

I would give golden phonographs to Ray Montagne, Bieber (so he could fade into obscurity like most other Best New Artist winners) and mayyyybe Eminem, actually.

Surprisingly, the category that I thought was the best representation of the year’s best music was the Best Dance Recording category:

Best Dance Recording
Rocket – Goldfrapp
In For The Kill – La Roux
Dance in the Dark – Lady Gaga
Only Girl (In The World)- Rihanna
Dancing On My Own – Robyn

I’d want Robyn to take that one. Right? She’s so great.

Is there anyone that you’re surprised to see nominated and anyone that you’re sure will win?

Here Are Your Grammy Dresses and Also My Thoughts on the Grammys

I have to say, this year’s Grammys was the best awards show I’ve seen in a really long time. It reminded me of the VMAs long ago, back when they were a showcase of creative genius and true musical talent and not a platform for Kanye West to embarrass himself annually while the MTV execs cackle with glee over how often this obnoxious, “unplanned” clip is going to be replayed on the nightly news.

The show went smoothly and tastefully. I thought nearly all the performances were mind-blowing — oddly enough, my least favorite was my beloved Taylor Swift’s. I think she just didn’t stand a chance up there compared to some of the most seasoned performers in the world. But she maybe didn’t have to be so flat, either. And, as much as I adore the girl, she probably didn’t deserve album of the year. Like, really, that should have gone to Beyonce or Lady Gaga. Taylor’s great, but that wasn’t the best album released this year. I’m not sure how that happened. I was rooting for Anyone But DMB, so I win regardless.

Here are some more general thoughts:

- Nicole Kidman deserves an honorary mention on the “In Memoriam” section. She looks like she died at least once last year.

- Why were the people in the audience wearing the 3D glasses? Like, Celine Dion was actually singing in front of them.

- I was excited that Beyonce performed that bit from “You Oughtta Know,” but was disappointed that they did that without actually involving Alanis Morrissette. I was also a little disappointed that Beyonce flubbed half the lyrics. Like, seriously, who can’t recite the words to “You Oughtta Know” in their sleep by now? You oughtta know those words, B.

- However, Beyonce Knowles is a phenomenally talented woman. And if you didn’t already know that, she was gonna make damn sure you knew it after tonight. Well-played, B.

- Did anyone else feel like Pink borrowed a little tiny bit from Tori Amos’ “Sugar” during her performance? Or am I making that up? Regardless, the whole thing was genius. GENIUS. It was very much like “HEY I’M PINK AND I’M STILL THE REAL THING, BITCHES.” And I looooved it.

- Hey, remember Norah Jones? No?

Anyway. All the gowns are below. Enjoy. Full list of winners can be found here.

Forget About Chris Brown For A Minute…

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Can we issue a warrant for the arrest of Gwyneth Paltrow’s stylist?  Her Grammy ensemble left me dumb and blind for several minutes.

Also behind the scenes at the Grammy Awards, Nicole Kidman’s facial muscles have left the building, Queen Latifah is still working on her healthy weight, Leann Rimes’ husband struck the “Yes, she’s pregnant!” pose,  and Katy Perry’s performance dress completely cancels out all the positive that had been accomplished by her red carpet look.

Are You Watching the Grammy Awards?

taylor-swift-and-miley-cyrus

Grammies are officially underway, people! It never ceases to amaze me how many people with absolutely no musical connections show up to walk the red carpet. For example, UFC fighter Chuck Liddell. Chuck – you punch people for a living. What the fuck are you doing at the Grammies? 

Here are some of the arrivals. I’m sure Beet or Wendie will do an outfit round up in the AM when all the pictures are out. I see some “Worst Dressed” potential already!

Grammy Noms are Out

Hey y’all, if you are looking for the Grammy Nominees click here.

Here are some highlights!

*Imogen Heap, one of our “Monday Morning Music” artists is nominated for Best New Artist along with James Blunt, Chris Brown, Corinne Bailey Rae (who is amazing), and one of my favorite Idol winners, Carrie Underwood.

*Ladysmith Black Mambazo…remember this from mean girls, when Lohan’s momma in the movie goes “But you LOVE Ladysmith Black Mambazo”…well, they are a real group and are nominated in the World Music Category for Best Contemporary World Music Album.

*Mary J. Blige leads the nominations with eight! One of her nominations is for “One” which she recorded with U2′s Bono. If you haven’t listened to this, download it right now because it is amazing.

*The Red Hot Chili Peppers are rockin it this year with six nominations.

*JT has four nominations for his album “FutureSex/LoveSounds.” Other artists with four nods are Beyoncé, Bryan-Michael Cox, Gnarls Barkley, Israel Houghton, T.I. James Blunt, the Dixie Chicks, John Mayer, Danger Mouse, Prince, Rick Rubin, will.i.am and John Williams each earn five nods.

*That awful song “My Humps” is nominated. Honestly that could possibly be the worst song I’ve ever heard.

*There are wayyyy to many categories to post a full list of the nominations but check it out for some new tunes. Obviously “Grey’s” soundtrack music is all over the Grammy nods so I really do hope they win for their Soundtrack.

49th Annual GRAMMY Awards will be held on “GRAMMY Sunday,” Feb. 11, at Staples Center in Los Angeles and once again will be broadcast live in high-definition TV and 5.1 surround sound on CBS from 8 – 11:30 p.m. (ET/PT).

You bet the Beet will give you full coverage, it possibly will include nip slips and crotch shots but here at the Beet we also take time to sit back and enjoy the music.