Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Evan Rachel Wood

Evan Rachel Wood Likes to Pose All Nude and Smeared in Blood, But She Can’t Take a Needle Through the Nose

First of all, can I say that Evan Rachel Wood is f-cking retarded without ruffling people’s feathers? No? OK, then. I won’t.

The above is a video of Evan Rachel Wood getting her nose pierced, and if you can get through the entire thirty-seven seconds of mouth-breathing and semi-inappropriate, audible orgasms, then you can actually witness Evan Rachel Wood getting her nose pierced. Can you imagine what sitting through an entire tattoo sesh would be like? Madness, guys. It would be sheer madness.

On a related note, I once had my nose pierced. And while it wasn’t the most pain-free body piercing I ever had, it certainly wasn’t the worst (the bellybutton, guys—the bellybutton was the worst). And it certainly wasn’t bad or “bad” enough that I had to all act like it was one of the most exhilarating things that’s ever happened to me. Because the whole exaggerated “Ohhhh f————ck” thing at the end and the self-satisfied little smirk? Ugh. I wanted to just die a little bit right there. Oh. Wait. No. Her, I mean, not me.

Even the piercer (who’s probably seen it all) is like, “Dude. Get this silly bitch out of my chair. Please?”

Thank You, Evan Rachel Wood, for a Better Set of Nudes

photo of evan rachel wood nudes magazine pictures photos small boobs pics
I’m so happy for Evan Rachel Wood. She’s really kind of come out of her weird goth shell over the last year, what with finally axing the relationship with Marilyn Manson, she’s rocking the hell out of her new haircut, and she flaunts her titties like it ain’t no thing (is it? Is it really?). She’s also engaged, in case you happened to miss the news! From the Examiner:

Wedding bells may finally be ringing for actress/singer Evan Rachel Wood. Her boyfriend British actor Jamie Bell proposed over the holidays. When she said yes, this became the second engagement for Wood.

Wood was previously engaged to Marilyn Manson until she ended it in 2010 amid allegations of infidelity. She and Bell met in 2005 when they were in the “Wake Me Up When September Ends” music video by Green Day.

They began dating shortly thereafter. The couple dated for a year and even got matching tattoos before ending their relationship. Last summer the twosome found each other again and got back together.

Awesome, right? I just love when these kind of things happen to people who seem genuinely neat. Plus, she bonus-ed us out with this latest spread for Flaunt magazine, where she – excuse the pun – flaunted her assets and her big old personality too.

About men who approach her for a date:

“[They] always seem too eager. I feel for guys. I’m telling you. It’s so much pressure. So easily you can turn into a creep.”

And that’s why she likes to be the take-charge one in the relationship, or “the dude,” whether it’s a relationship with a male, or even another female:

“I totally get it [though] because I got to a place where I had to start picking up women, and I had to be the guy. And I feel awful for any guy that’s ever trying to pick me up-it’s super hard. Women are very complicated. I love women – I am one, I adore them – but we’re all nuts. We’re all crazy! But, I think it comes from love. It comes from a place of caring too much and doing too much, and it will drive you nuts. Guys and girls are equally nuts – it’s just two different kinds of crazy.”

Thanks for that generalization, ERW. I appreciate it muchly.

Anyway, she concludes the interview (which you can check out more on here) with some off-the-wall comments about her sleeping habits:

“I’m a crazy sleeper. If you ever slept at home with me, you know you’re in for an adventure. I talk, I scream – I freak people out sometimes because I literally scream things. I am violent in my sleep, which I always find really interesting.”

Sure, interesting. I guess I’m a crazy sleeper, too, but I’m not violent. No, I’m just a dog-insulter. For real. My husband told me that I woke up laughing the other night (I don’t remember any of this), and when he asked me what I found so funny, I said “Sadie,” who happens to be our Coonhound, “is an idiot.” And I proceeded to laugh for another five whole minutes, completely oblivious to the fact that I was asleep. Awesome, right?

Anyway, you probably read through this whole post for the boobs. And I promised, and now I’ll deliver. But don’t get too excited – there’s only one NSFW photo out of the bunch, it’s not super quality, and it’s after the jump. But at least it’s better than having to roll your eyes at Olivia Munn’s PETA ad any old day, right?

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The Critics’ Choice Awards Were Last Night!

A photo of Emma Stone

I know, I know, the People’s Choice Awards were just the night before! But settle down, kids, because the Critics’ Choice Awards actually kind of matter, and besides, it’s awards season, so buck up. The Golden Globes are this Sunday, you know. It’s time to get serious.

And you guys, things did get serious last night. Seriously gorgeous. Both my girls, Emma Stone and Evan Rachel Wood, were there, and they both killed it. Take a look above to see Emma looking dazzling, and below to see Evan looking stunning. I actually think I like Evan’s dress a little better. What about you guys?

A photo of Evan Rachel Wood

In the gallery below, you can also see Elle Fanning being absolutely adorable, Brad Pitt with his pimp cane, Kirsten Dunst in a cute dress of her own, and a handful of other notable celebrities.

But on to the winners!

Best picture: The Artist

Best actor: George Clooney, The Descendants

Best actress: Viola Davis, The Help

Best supporting actress: Octavia Spencer, The Help

Best supporting actor: Christopher Plummer, Beginners

Best acting ensemble: The Help

Best director: Michel Hazanavicius, The Artist

Best animated film: Rango

Best foreign film: A Separation

Best young actor or actress: Thomas Horn, Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

Best documentary feature: George Harrison: Living in the Material World

Best adapted screenplay: Moneyball, Steve Zaillian and Aaron Sorkin, story by Stan Chervin

Best original screenplay: Midnight in Paris, Woody Allen

Best cinematography(Tie): The Tree Of Life AND War Horse

Best art direction: Hugo

Best editing: The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

Best costume design: The Artist

Best make-up: Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Part 2

Best visual effects: Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes

Best sound: Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Part 2

Best comedy: Bridesmaids

Best action movie :Drive

Best song: “Life’s A Happy Song” – The Muppets, Performed By Jason Segel, Amy Adams And Walter, Written By Bret Mckenzie And The Muppets

Best score: The Artist

What do you guys think?  Personally, I’m kind of bummed that We Need to Talk About Kevin didn’t win anything (both Tilda Swinton and Ezra Miller were up for acting awards) because I thought it was amazing, but I’m really glad that “Life’s a Happy Song” from The Muppets got some recognition. Did you guys see The Muppets? It’s probably going to be one of my favorite movies ever. Also, I clearly need to see The Artist, huh?

Any additional thoughts?