Guess Who’s Engaged? (Spoiler: It’s Supposedly Jessica Simpson)
Aug 12, 2010 at 06:46 am by Sarah

Star claims to have the inside scoop on Jess’s love life and also says that she’s over the moon over her latest boyfriend, the sometimes-football playing Eric Johnson, so much that she bought her own engagement ring and claims that she’ll “take care” of Johnson if that’s what it comes down to.

Uh, girl? Why don’t you go and talk to Britney about this one? She had a pretty similar situation, where she started dated this douchey-sounding guy (lookin’ at you, K-Fug) and bought her own engagement ring ’cause the guy hadn’t really worked for awhile, and a few years later, two kids, a divorce, several mental breakdowns and lots of cheap nylon wigs later, Britney’s, uh, “back.” “Bitches.”

Truth? Lie? Somewhere in between? You decide.

First Exclusive Photo of Jessica Simpson and New Boyfriend
Jul 12, 2010 at 09:31 am by Sarah

Happy Birthday, Jess! Your new boyfriend, Eric Johnson, is definitely top-notch, and just by the kiss, I can surmise that you guys are pretty happy right now.

I won’t mention how it looks like you have a set of legs emerging from your torso, but hey. Maybe that’s part of your whole “sexual napalm” thing. Two sets of legs to wrap around some big football-playing guy?

Bitch is the original Spiderwoman. Just … hotter.

Jessica Simpson is Dating Another Footballer
Jul 06, 2010 at 07:33 am by Sarah

And this is him.

I swear, this girl gets the best looking guys. Tony Romo? Totally cute. John Mayer? Good looking enough — until he opens his mouth, that is. This new guy, former San Francisco 49ers player, Eric Johnson? Adorable!

According to exclusive friends of the couple, the pair has been dating since May and have been stoked to keep it on the down-low (nooooobody has to know) until now.

Congrats to the new couple, and may he treat Jess right. This is one woman who deserves some good, good love.

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