4This is Huge!

So, it looks like Ellen DeGeneres and Kara DioGuardi are leaving American Idol this season, and it looks like J. Lo (does she even go by “J. Lo” anymore, or is it back to Jennifer Lopez again? I never do know.) is slated to take Ellen’s place. According to Ellen, the show just wasn’t a fit:

“A couple months ago, I let FOX and the American Idol producers know that this didn’t feel like the right fit for me … I told them I wouldn’t leave them in a bind and that I would hold off on doing anything until they were able to figure out where they wanted to take the panel next. It was a difficult decision to make, but my work schedule became more than I bargained for. I also realized this season that while I love discovering, supporting and nurturing young talent, it was hard for me to judge people and sometimes hurt their feelings. I loved the experience working on Idol and I am very grateful for the year I had, I am a huge fan of the show and will continue to be.”

As for why Kara’s leaving? According to TMZ, she was fired. FIRED. STBY, Kara. You never really did it for me, anyway. And there’s a possibility of Steven Tyler taking Kara’s place? Damn. Producers are really pulling out the big guns: Jennifer Lopez! Steven Tyler! Randy Jackson! Starring in: It’s Not Even American Idol Anymore, Who the Fuck’s Gonna Watch This Shit Now!

July 30, 2010 at 8:30 am by Sarah

6Ellen Is Just The Best

Remember when that Greyson Michael Chance kid was on Ellen?  Ellen certainly does:  she’s making her own record label, and Greyson will be the first artist signed.  She’s said that Greyson inspired her to do this, and she’ll use the label to sign other artists she discovers.  Greyson, who is being co-managed by Madonna’s and Lady Gaga’s managers, will be on Ellen again today to perform an original song.

There are so many things that are lovely about this news.  For one, I’m excited about a Greyson Michael Chance album and I think he’ll save me, along with so many other young and impressionable girls, from Bieber Fever. For two, I just love Ellen for making a talented kid’s dreams come true, and also for being a generally hilarious and awesome human being.  But I think the best thing about this news is that Greyson is being managed by the people that manage Lady Gaga and Madonna.  It’s only up from here, Greyson!

May 26, 2010 at 12:05 pm by Emily

31Lady Gaga Is Secretly Crazy Jealous

If you watched Ellen yesterday or if you’ve been on the internet lately, you’ve probably heard about this Greyson Michael Chance kid who sings songs on Youtube.  The video above is of Chance singing “Paparazzi” by Lady Gaga. And it’s kind of better than the original.

Lady Gaga, who Chance says is his “number one inspiration,” phoned in to talk to him via Ellen, and it’s really odd to hear Lady Gaga speak to a child when I know all she wants is to be drunk. She told him to “keep following his dreams, work really hard, and stay away from girls.”  It sounds like Lady Gaga is just telling little Greyson the things she wished someone had told her back in the day, before she became the train wreck she is today.  And I know I linked to the same article twice, I just think it’s such a nice article, especially when placed alongside Gaga’s dealings with children.  I also know that she has an incredibly unique style and a whole lot of people like her music, but I don’t think magazine covers and album sales are going to fill that hole in her heart.

By the way, the video above is not the video from the Ellen performance, mostly because I like the overall feel of this video much more.  Check out the girls watching him with lust in their eyes.  That hilarity is my gift to you.

May 14, 2010 at 10:37 am by Emily

47Ellen DeGeneres Gives Scholarship to Small Town Teen Whose Prom was Cancelled in Homophobic Fracas

For those of you in other countries who don’t know what a prom is, perhaps a little explaining is in order.

Prom is a formal dance that you attend at the end of your senior (and sometimes junior) year in high school. For many American girls,  it’s one of two times in their life that they’ll get to wear formal attire (the other being their wedding) so it’s a pretty big deal. A lot of time and money is spent figuring out what to wear, making appointments to get your hair and makeup done, booking a limo, finding a date, and making reservations at a fancy restaurant. For most high school students, it’s one of those seminal (pun intended) coming of age rituals.

So, when Mississippi teen Constance McMillen’s prom was cancelled because she planned to wear a tuxedo and take another girl as her date, believe me when I say it was a big freakin deal. The school board in this bassackward district has a ban on bringing same sex dates to the prom, and apparently also forbids women to wear pants because they didn’t just deny McMillan’s request to bring a female date, they also told her should couldn’t wear a tuxedo.

The school board says that it cancelled the prom because the controversy surrounding the situation was distracting McMillen’s fellow students from their education. I choked a little bit on that massive turd of bullshit when I wrote it; did you choke a little when you read it?

In response to the cancellation, parents of other students organized a private prom at a furniture mart in nearby Tupleo. The prom is “invitation only”, and of course, Constance hasn’t been invited. In one discussion on an internet forum, a poster who identified himself as a junior from the high school in question stated that “Constance and her gay-activist friends will not be attending [the private dance]. They can go have their own prom because we certainly do not want any of them there.”

At the center of this massive shit storm of stupidity and homophobia is a normal, 18 year old girl. Although it appears that many of her peers and the residents of her hometown aren’t supporting her, the national opinion is much more divided, with many people, like talk show host Ellen DeGeneres, expressing their concern for her situation and admiration for her courage in standing up to the school district. Ellen invited McMillen to be a guest on her show, where she presented her with a $30,000 scholarship and offered her a summer internship in New York.

Several organizations have offered to provide an alternative prom for the students in the district. But McMillen is fighting for the legitimacy of being able to attend the real prom, sanctioned by the high school, adding, “I just want to go and be able to be myself, go to the prom that I was supposed to have since I’ve never known what prom was.”

Maybe it’s because I’m on the rag today, but this story actually brought me to tears. I don’t type that easily because I like to pretend I’m a hardass who never cries about anything. I pull my hoodie around my face if I ever bawl at a sad movie and punch anyone who says anything about the water on my cheeks. But this literally made me cry.

When I went to prom, I took a last minute date, bought a budget dress from T.J. Maxx, and got my sister to do my hair and makeup for me. The school district wasn’t involved in picking out my outfit or approving my date, and it would have been some insane, 1984 “big brother” bullshit if they had tried. But then, I’m straight, and my date was a boy.

It’s just so damn frustrating. She’s just a girl who wants to go her prom;  to wear an outfit she picked out after hours of agonizing and trying on different things. A girl who wants take that date that she finally worked up the nerve to ask. A girl who wants to slow dance awkwardly while she figures out exactly where she can rest her hands without offending her date or looking too clumsy.

Prom is a collection of annoying, awkward, hilarious, exciting experiences that comprise a ubiquitous  rite of passage for every American teenager. She has a right to make those memories- as do all the the other students in her class– and it saddens me greatly that because of the intractable self-righteousness of a school board who seems to have forgotten, or chosen to ignore, every American’s right to liberty, they won’t get to have those experiences or make those memories.

March 20, 2010 at 10:25 am by Kelly

5We Probably Wont Be Seeing Ellen and Howard Together Any Time Soon

There’s been talk that Howard Stern will be joining the panel of judges of American Idol after Simon leaves at the end of this season, but Ellen DeGeneres has spoken out saying that she wants nothing to do with the shock jock. Turns out the feeling is mutual, and Howard said as much to Entertainment Tonight at the Green Zone premiere in New York on Thursday. “Ellen has said she won’t work with me, but quite frankly, after watching her on the stupid show, I gotta tell ya, I won’t work with Ellen. She’s out if I come in,” he said.

Is Ellen leaving after only one season a possibility? As far as I see it, absolutely. It’s common for a celebrity as big as Ellen to step in to a job like that for one year and then peace out when they realize they’re not the star. Take Rosie on The View for example. I still think the combo of Howard and Ellen would be a clashing of the egos so legendary that it will truly be a tragedy if it doesn’t happen, but if the two of them did a switcheroo, I wouldn’t mind that either.

February 27, 2010 at 9:07 am by Molls

6First Look at Ellen on Idol

OK, well it’s not a lot, but you at least can get a taste for what it will be like when Ellen DeGeneres takes over for Paula Abdul next Tuesday on American Idol. I only saw the Boston auditions from this new season so far and I really really missed Paula, but Ellen could possibly be a hilarious addition to the judges panel. I don’t think Ellen will ever be Simon levels of mean, but she won’t be Paula’s level of nice either. Are you going to be tuning in on Tuesday and what do you think the addition of Ellen will mean for the show?

February 5, 2010 at 12:09 pm by Molls