Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Elizabeth Hasselbeck

Miss California May Be Sharing More Of Her Views On The View

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Elisabeth Hasselbeck is about to go on maternity leave from her hosting gig on The View and some insiders are saying that Barbara Walters is considering Miss California, Carrie Prejean, as a replacement.

If you watch The View, and I’m proud to say that I don’t, you can see how exasperated the other hosts are with Hasselwreck.  They all seem to think that she’s an idiot with no valid content to contribute.  According to this week’s print issue of National Enquirer, Barbara is looking to make a more permanent change.

“Adam and Eve… Not Adam and Steve!” That loud scream you heard was terrified Elisabeth Hasselbeck wailing that Baba Wawa – aka Barbara Walters – keeps plotting to bounce her from “The View” because of her shrilly-silly views.

But this time, “Elisabeth really has something to worry about,” said a show source, who revealed that while Dizzie Lizzie’s on maternity leave, Walters will audition, as her fill-in, the right-wing babe on the block – Miss USA runner-up Carrie Prejean, who made national headline with her “no gay marriage” bombshell during the pageant.

And it could turn into a permanent gig for the controversial beauty queen, say show insiders, because Barbara’s seriously fed up with Elisabeth’s coo-coo-conserva-babbble – and her looney-toon responses to co-hosts Whoopi Goldberg, Joy Behar and Sherri Shepherd.

When Joy asked, for example, why she kept defending Mel Gibson – refusing to admit he’s a hypocrite for divorcing, despite his much-avowed Catholic faith – the exchange got reeeally ugly.

Said Joy: “Listen, Elisabeth, there’s a self-righteous-ness to the guy.” Shrilled Elisabeth: “Isn’t it self-righteous to call someone self-righteous?”

Groaning like an embarrassed granny, Barbara quietly gasped: “Oh, Elisabeth!” Stay tuned.

Listen, the “young professional” seat is cursed.  Ask Debbie Matenopolous and Lisa Ling.  If Carrie does come on board as a full-time host, I want her to explain how God’s plan doesn’t include same sex marriage but does include getting pageant-sponsored implants.

Elizabeth Hasselbeck, Baby, Blah

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That bitch on The View, baby boy, blah blah blah blah, born.

Baby is healthy.

Sadly, so is Elizabeth.

She’s fucking calling into the show on Monday to announce the baby’s name.

Seriously?

The kid is less than a day old and you’re already exploiting him?

Elizabeth, when you die, I hope this kid sells fucking tickets for people to come and deface your corpse and sits nearby, watching, counting his money and whispering “So how does this make you feel, Mom?”

And you know what else?

I hope Rosie O’Donnell is the first in line.