Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Elisha Cuthbert

Elisha Cuthbert is Engaged!

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Oh man. This girl. This girl is so hot, seriously. She’s like a Michelle Williams vixen. No! Wait! Dawson’s Creek reference—she’s just like Jen Lindley. Only a smidge HOTTER.

And contrary to popular belief (OK, well, my belief) that Elisha’s currently engaged to Ted Danson circa Cheers. What’s that? Don’t believe me? Or, worse, don’t know who Ted Danson or—dare I say it—Cheers is? Here:

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No, Elisha’s brand-new fiance is named Dion Phaneuf, he’s a Canadian hockey player, and he’s pretty cute.

Girlfriend’s long, long ways away from the hooking-up-with-Paris Hilton days, thank God.

Congratulations!

Elisha Cuthbert Pulls a Jennifer Love Hewitt

But you know what? You’re not going to hear a lot of hate from me about it. I think (although it’s evident that she’s put on a few pounds) that she still looks great. I love when celebrities put on noticeable weight and they’re still okay with it. They don’t go and hide in the Hollywood Hills homes with a hoard of Ex-Lax, razorblades and cocaine. They accept it, flaunt it and change it — if they want.

Although yeah, she’s not the tiny, fat-free person that she used to be, she’s still totally hot in my book and I don’t care whether she takes the weight off or not.

Check out after and before photos of Jack Bauer’s daughter Elisha in the gallery.

Yes Of Course Paris Hilton Was Making Out with Elisha Cuthbert

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She desperately needs the publicity.

Everything’s all Britney, Britney, Britney these days.

What’s a girl to do?

The answer is obvious: Suck face with someone who’s as big a trainwreck as Britney, without all that international superstardom baggage.

Paris Hilton and actress Elisha Cuthbert were “all over each other and making out” at New York’s Tenjune club Tuesday night, a source tells Usmagazine.com.

“Who knew?” says the source of the unlikely pairing.

Hilton, 26, and Cuthbert, 25 (who costarred in 2005′s House of Wax), didn’t arrive at Tenjune together. Hilton was there for a birthday party and was seen dancing on banquets. “It’s Paris,” says the source. “She loves putting on a show.”

That’s cute.

Mischa’s Keds are at the Cleaners

I know we’ve been following the “Mischa Barton + Keds = True Love” story pretty hard so here’s the latest breaking news.

In this picture I believe she is wearing normal (acceptable) footwear. I could be off the mark here, as I don’t really know the whole Keds line. If I’m wrong I’ll take a comment ding. But if I’m right I want it known that I nailed her first.

Put your Keds back on! And eat something.

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Next up, Adam Brody, Elisha Cuthbert, and Amber Tamblyn. These guys all look hot in their own little way, no? Brody is rocking a full fledged adult male thing and somehow the slightly stoned vibe makes Elisha work for me. Plus I’m a sucker for redheads (Amber Tamblyn).

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It should be noted that all these, again, are from the Coachella event. The fact checker (whom I’m on the phone with now) tells me that this event is in Indio, California and features music acts. There seems to be a charity angle as well. So all you guys near Indio (home of the Indio High Rajahs) hustle on down to see both music and Scarlett’s cow legs.

As Long As She’s Still Nowhere Near My Hayden Panettiere…

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Poor Paris Hilton. It must be really tough to have to find new best friends all the time when all your old ones end up in rehab. But Elisha Cuthbert? I mean, she’s hot, but what does she really have to offer Paris? I don’t think she even has a famous boyfriend to be stolen. Maybe it’s just that Elisha’s always willing to drive, since Paris needs to be, you know, not doing that at all anymore. Oh well. Elisha’s a big girl, she can take care of herself. Just stay away from my Hayden, Paris!!

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