Says Lohan through her rep, “I have made a proactive decision to take care of my personal health. I appreciate your well wishes and ask that you please respect my privacy at this time.”
For what it’s worth, Lindsay, good luck.
Yes. It’s true. Drunkie Paula gave the following quote to Entertainment Weekly:
“Last year, when no one understood what I was saying, and even though I’ve never been drunk in my life, I’m accused of filling my Coca-Cola cup with alcohol. Yeah, that was really fun for me.”
First off, Paula, way to remember to plug Coca-Cola even in the midst of a conversation about your alcoholism. You’re a real pro.
Also, dear, if I were you, I’d cop to the drinking. Because if you’re claiming you gave an interview like this sober, well, you leave the rest of us no choice but to assume you are functionally retarded. Come on, Paula? How about some information, please?
Straight up now, tell me, you don’t really wanna drug yourself forever?
Oh oh oh….
Or you slur your speech ‘cuz you hurt your tongue?
Straight up now, tell me, that you never touch booze or weed, not ever?
Oh oh oh…
Are you really just that dumb?
La Lohan set tongues a-wagging when she was photographed leaving The Ivy yesterday wearing a ninety-day sobriety chip given by Alcoholics Anonymous and other twelve-step programs. It seems unlikely that Lohan herself has actually been sober for ninety days, seeing as how we run a story at least once daily regarding just how drunk she was the night before. Lohan’s rep says the chip was a “tribute to a friend.”
Lohan’s ex-boyfriend, Harry Morton, is rumored to be sober, and I’m sure Lindsay had some exposure to twelve-step programs during her relationship with him. Such chips are also sometimes given as “hope chips,” to people with fewer than ninety days sober, to encourage them to reach that goal. At least we now know that Lindsay has heard of AA. You have to start somewhere.