Travis Barker just Tweeted a link to this DJ AM tribute video a few hours ago. According to the video description, it was the same montage that was played at Adam’s memorial service. It’s interesting to see pictures of Adam at different stages in his life. His appearance was so drastically different pre- and post-gastric bypass surgery. And then there was his shoe collection — 600 pairs.
With the link, Travis posted the message : “This vid makes me smile from ear 2 ear and tear at the same time, miss u homie.”
People is reporting that DJ AM’s death may have been more than just an overdose. It may have been intentional.
Though the official cause of death hasn’t been announced, a law enforcement official reveals that Adam had eight undigested OxyContin pills in his stomach and a ninth one in his mouth. That’s in addition to the crack and crack pipe found in his bed.
Mirrors were propped up against both the entrance door to the apartment as well as Adam’s bedroom door. In the living room, police found a Valentine’s Day card from his ex, Haley Wood (she denies that they were broken up at the time of Adam’s death) as well as several pictures of the couple.
Now, police are investigating the theory that DJ AM may have committed suicide. Either way, it sounds like Adam was in a whole lot of personal pain. I hope he’s at peace.
Now that DJ AM has gone to the big discotheque in the sky, one of his friends has come forward and shared an email that Adam sent to him exactly one month after he survived last year’s plane crash:
“Man this is almost too much for me to handle right now,” Goldstein, known as DJ AM, wrote.
“I had no idea how the survivors guilt could have felt. I’m a mess though man. I just hope time will fix this depressed feeling asap,” he continued.
“I can’t go on being this miserable.”
DJ AM was clearly loved by so many people as evidenced by the huge reaction when news of his death broke. It’s sad that he wasn’t able to get the help that he needed to work through the trauma he experienced. In fatal events, survivor’s often feel a sense of guilt that they did something wrong that caused the death of others involved in the incident. One of my relatives struggled with this as well as post-traumatic stress. That shit doesn’t go away without counseling.
Sometimes life is just a fucking struggle — it’s important to reach out and ask for help and to just keep asking when it all feels overwhelming. Rest in peace, Adam.