Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Demi Moore

Demi Moore is Probably Definitely Doing Whip-Its Again

So hey! The photo above, as well as the rest in the gallery? Well. They show Demi Moore acting all crazy at the Chanel Beachside Barbecue last night, and when she wasn’t too busy spreading her legs and chair-dancing, she was eating her hair. And hanging all over a mostly-embarrassed-looking Lenny Kravitz. And possessing the largest pupils known to man.

Take this photo, for example:

photo of demi moore ass dancing pictures chanel bbq pic
I .. what even is this? I’ll tell you what this is—this is Demi Moore, being a hot-ass mess and not caring that she was going to be professionally photographed, by a professional photographer, and not some buck-toothed, undercover mole with a camera on their iPhone. And that’s some bizarre shit right there, guys. I’d ask “Who intentionally wants people to see them like this?” but I’m afraid you know the answer just as well as I.

[Images removed on request]

Demi Moore Has A New Boyfriend, Maybe!

A photo of Demi Moore

From People:

Actress Demi Moore is dipping her toe back in the dating world – and she still likes ‘em young, according to new reports. The New York Post‘s Page Six column reports that Moore, 50, is quietly dating art world scion Vito Schnabel, 26.

Schnabel, an art dealer, is the son of painter and director Julian Schnabel. He and Moore were reportedly “dancing and grinding all over each other” at a party in Jodhpur, India,thrown by supermodel Naomi Campbell for the 50th birthday of her billionaire boyfriend Vladimir Doronin, according to the paper’s account.

The blooming romance comes a year after her split after six years of marriage with husband Ashton Kutcher, 34. Kutcher is now dating his That 70s Show costar Mila Kunis, 29. Sources have told PEOPLE that the relationship has left Moore “jealous and frustrated.””

Vito Schnabel is no stranger to beautiful women: When he was 21, Schnabel reportedly dated supermodel and actress Elle Macpherson. He has also been linked with actress Liv Tyler.

Ok, let me tell you why this is confusing. While this story came from People, which is definitely one of the most trustworthy sources for gossip, it looks like it was originally reported in the New York Post, which is not as trustworthy. And there’s also a conflicting report over on Radar that says that Demi’s daughters are “begging her to get over Ashton.” According that to that story, Demi won’t stop talking about him, and she’s making the divorce proceedings really hard. It seems like that story is more in line with other things we’ve heard, but, you know, People is saying she’s got a new dude.

So what’s up, friends?

Demi Moore And Ashton Kutcher Aren’t Even Trying to Get Divorced

A photo of Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore

It seems like it’s been a good long while since Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher split up, huh? That’s because it’s been a whole year. It was last November that Demi announced her decision to leave Ashton, but it was back in September when we learned that Ashton had been having an affair. So really, this whole thing has been a mess for well over a year. So why aren’t they divorced yet?

Because they’re not doing anything. They haven’t discussed who gets what or how the money is going to be split. There are no papers. They haven’t even discussed anything with their lawyers yet. They’re just hanging out, still legally married, still legally cool, while Ashton knocks up his old costars. Sounds super healthy.

The rumor was that Ashton and Demi just had their Kabbalah wedding, but they never legally got married. But somebody with a lot of dedication found some documents that proved that wasn’t the case. So what’s the deal? Here’s another rumor: Ashton has a ton of money, and he just doesn’t want to give it up in a messy divorce. How noble.

How are any of the ladies in Ashton’s life even cool with this?

So This is What Demi Looks Like Today

photo of demi moore pictures photos 2012 better pic
The photo I ran with last night’s piece about Demi Moore was from the infamous set where she was in the throes of getting ready to head to rehab, and now we finally have some pictures to compare them to today.

She’s looking so, so much better, but the story still remains the same—she’s still allegedly toeing a very fine line between “I’m just … ugh” and “I’m so not OK,” and her friends and handlers are allegedly just as worried today as they were a month ago, despite the fact that Demi’s looking … well, she’s looking pretty decent, considering all things. She’s even looking better than what she was back in September, and that’s quite an improvement, too.


Is Demi Moore About to Relapse?

photo of demi moore thin sick pictures
Uh, sources say ‘yes’.

From Radar Online via People:

“Her friends aren’t convinced she’s all better,” multiple sources close to Demi told People magazine.

Demi’s figure has been consistently wasting away leaving her frail, and leaving her friends with red flags that the nearly 50-year-old is still struggling with the loss of her relationship with Ashton.

In August Demi attended an 80s-themed birthday party for friend and fellow actress Soleil Moon Frye in which one partygoer described her as “guilt, a little more subdued that she’s been in the past.”

The magazine also reveals that Demi wasn’t the only one surprised by Ashton’s quick hookup with Mila — the actor’s friends were equally as shocked.

“I would have never believed Ashton could get serious this fast,” a friend close to Ashton said.

“He was so happy to get out from under the stagnant relationship with Demi that he was overeager to play around and have fun. But it didn’t take long to bring him home again.”

So, apparently Demi‘s going out to birthday shindigs “guilt,” whatever the f-ck that means, ahd she, herself, is about to turn the big 5-0 (and holy crap, can you believe this woman’s fifty years old? … Me either) alone, sad, and without a young whippersnapping penis by her side. I mean, yeah, I could think of a bunch of way more awful things to be at fifty years old, but “dumped by a thirtysomething man-child” isn’t really at the top of that list.

Come on, Demi—snap the f-ck out of this shit. You’re talented, attractive, and you’ve got a lot going for yourself. Don’t spend the rest of your time on this earth lamenting something that someone else didn’t take as seriously as you yourself did, OK? It’s just not worth it.

Demi Moore: Not Looking So Great

[Image removed upon request] I mean, she’s looking GOOD, if we’re specifically talking on a physical level (and that hair! So pretty!), but if you look deep into her sad, vacant eyes, you’ll see that the outside package does not match the inside.

This is Demi leaving a club last night, and sources are saying that Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher‘s new relationship has pretty much put a massive strain on everything in her life. The same sources are also saying that Ashton’s putting pressure on Demi to sign the divorce papers that he sent awhile back, and still, up to this point, she hasn’t. From Showbiz Spy:

“Ashton always wanted Demi to take the lead in filing for divorce, and in her own good time,” said a source. “He didn’t press her too hard because she was going through heavy emotional distress and he didn’t want to pile it on her. But now he’s calling Demi and begging her to file, driven by Mila’s agony over being in a romance with a still-married man. It stings her that he’s fallen in love with a girl much younger than she is. She’s not in the mood to make things easier for him.”

Sure, I mean, I wouldn’t be in the mood to make things easier on him, either, but I also wouldn’t go out in the world looking like the world’s biggest broken heart. No, I’d stay in with some Ben & Jerry’s, wiping my ass with the aforementioned divorce papers, and mailing them with stamps charged on Ashton’s Amex. Damn, girl.

Demi Moore’s Going to Write an Ashton Kutcher Tell-All and I Will Probably Buy It

photo of demi moore and ashton kutcher pictures
So, Demi Moore might be writing a book, have you heard?

From Books & Review:

[Demi] has reportedly reached a deal worth $2 million with publisher HarperCollins to write a book. The book will be edited by Jennifer Barth, and backstopped by publisher Jonathan Burnham. According to sources they are still negotiating a delivery date and making a deal with a co-writer.

And what will the book be about? Come on. What else would it be about? Demi Moore, though she’s definitely more of a sympathetic soul these days than really anything else, used to be a bombshell in her day. She was an original member of the Brat Pack, and headlined a lot of really, really great movies that I love to this day. I mean, have you guys ever seen One Crazy Summer with Demi and John Cusack? Because it’s completely one of my most favorite movies of all time. Sources are saying that the book, however, will not only talk about Ashton and her six-year marriage to him, but will also cover what it was like to be in the legendary “Brat Pack”:

… Some say that it is not a trip down memory lane for the actress who got her start as a member of the Brat Pack. According some unnamed sources she met with publishers to personally pitch the book, which isn’t a memoir, but rather a specific story about her complex relationship with her mother, and how it impacted her life and career.

Another source told The Daily Star that Moore, left depressed and angry after Kutcher cheated on her, she decided to reap her revenge on him by signing a book contract. An insider claims, “We already had a great book outline from her in which she said she would write about overcoming her alcohol and cocaine addictions. Now she’s going to blow the lid on her six-year marriage to Ashton, so what would have been a best-selling book is going to become a blockbuster!”

But of course, now that Demi’s finally got something that she can get behind and be excited about and probably receive some decent press for (and, naturally, a chance to tell her side of things, which almost always works out in the way of good publicity), her nay-saying daughters are on the offense, wishing that their mom would drop the idea of a book and leave well enough alone:

“Demi’s daughters hate the idea – they don’t want their lives laid bare to whole world,” said a source close the family.

And of course they do. They’re nothing but self-centered little witches who think they’re better than everyone else because they’re the offspring of Demi Moore and Bruce Willis. Which couldn’t be further from the truth. The thing is, it’s pretty sad because they aren’t anyone of importance even though they are the offspring of Demi Moore and Bruce Willis.

All I know is that I’m a hundred percent behind Demi and this book. I think it’ll give her a chance to unload and allow people the perspective that they’ve been denied for so long, and hell. It’ll be pretty interesting, to boot.