Before she decided to be a cheating harlot, LeAnn Rimes was married to a nice young gent named Dean Sheremet. She then decided she really wanted The D from Eddie Cibrian, he cheated on his wife to give it to her and the rest, as they say, is history. I don’t think LeAnn and Dean have spoken since their divorce, really, but the words they’re exchanging now aren’t all that friendly. Apparently LeAnn retweeted a photo of herself and Sheremet the other day, which the original poster had captioned: “Remember the good old days when @leannrimes was just a chubby country bumpkin married to a gay dude?”
To be fair, I think calling her a “chubby country bumpkin” is more offensive than the gay bit, because as Dean himself later pointed out, being gay isn’t offensive. In any case, LeAnn responded to it with a whole barrel of laughter, which Dean didn’t take too kindly to, and then LeAnn said she was only laughing at herself and then she had to clarify that she’s not homophobic and blah blah, what’s wrong with these people?
In fact, Dean actually isn’t gay (well, unless he’s really committed to bearding, which seems unlikely) as he got re-married a couple of years ago. But seriously, who would care if he was?
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OK, apparently? This fall is the summer of revenge engagements. Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo first, then Jessica Simpson announces her engagement to whatever-his-name-is football player boyfriend. Didn’t, you know, seem odd or anything. These are two couples that are so in sync, guys, that they even come to the same rash decisions together. No harm, no foul.
Now, however, we have the engagement of Dean Sheremet, former backup dancer and ex-husband of LeAnn Rimes. Sheremet, who was rumored for the longest time to be gay, is now a New York City chef, and has admitted to popping the question to his photographer girlfriend, Sarah Silver. All of this comes in the wake of ‘Is LeAnn engaged? Is she not engaged? Does anyone actually give a shit?’
Naturally, LeAnn’s come forward to congratulate the couple, and she backtracks left and right, inventing imaginary people who are calling her congratulatory bluff:
Congrats to @deansheremet and @sarah_silver on your engagement! A little birdie told me the happy news last night. Wishes for a life full of happiness.
And later, the other half of Eddie Cibrian tweeted:
my congrats is from my heart. Sorry if you don’t understand it. I do not need the publicity, I get plenty. please stop passing [judgment].
Yeah, guys. Stop passing judgement on LeAnn Rimes. Your words cut her deep, don’t you know. Can’t someone just be happy for someone else without it being for show? Chuff and mutter, for fuck’s sake.
And no, it’s not because ex-husband Dean Sheremet was actually gay, sorry to quash those rumors … for today.
LeAnn, the female half of the Eddie Cibrian-LeAnn Rimes affair — OK, wait, let me reiterate: LeAnn, the blonde half of the Eddie Cibrian-LeAnn Rimes affair (ah, much better) reached out recently to Shape magazine about — what else — her affair with a then-married co-star, Eddie Cibrian, and why she did it:
“I understand why people are disappointed in me, especially since I grew up as America’s sweetheart. I think any relationship is hard to get out of, and I don’t think the way I did it was right … I did one of the most selfish things that I possibly could do, in hurting someone else.”
As to how she let her vulva get the best of her:
“It wasn’t a fulfilling marriage for either of us [LeAnn and Dean]. As we got older, we grew apart.”
But don’t worry, y’all; she’s learned from this experience, and girlfriend has grown. Live with love and grow from love or whatever the fuck, I guess.
“There are lessons in it for me to learn … The most important thing [is] cultivating strength from rough situations. After going through this, I know I can face anything.”
OK. Is it going to be, like, next year, and we’re still going to be hearing about this affair and exactly how it unfolded time and time again? Is this going to be the catalyst of the prophets’ end of days? 2012 is fast-approaching … and yes, if you’re wondering, I do think Le Ann can continue in this vein for the next year and a half.