Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Daniel Craig

Dick Van Dyke Could Have Been James Bond

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So, apparently back in the day, Dick Van Dyke was offered the role of James Bond and would have replaced Sean Connery in the franchise. Well, that would’ve been a different world. I kind of can’t see it, to be honest, but Dick told Kevin Pollack that’s what happened, so I guess we’ll believe it.

In any case, the whole plan went to shit when Dick reminded Bond producer Albert R ‘Cubby’ Broccoli of his laughably horrendous English accent, to which Broccoli apparently replied, “Oh, that’s right – forget it!” LOL. Yeah, that would not have been very good – but I do love him in Mary Poppins!

As for Dick’s thoughts on Daniel Craig as James Bond, he doesn’t think he’s doing a great job, saying: “For some reason he lacks the panache to be Bond, to me.” He did at least throw Daniel a bit of a bone, claiming that he’s a good actor with “great physicality”. I kind of agree with Dick, though – Daniel Craig just doesn’t carry it off, I don’t think. How about you?

Would you have liked to see Dick Van Dyke as James Bond?  I doubt anyone will answer, “Yes! Definitely!” but who knows. It takes all kinds. I don’t think anyone will ever top Connery, though.

Which Actor Got A Nose Job And Chin Implant?

don draper

Leonardo DiCaprio isn’t hot anymore and men want to look like Jon Hamm, according to the latest plastic surgery trends. Details has some interesting stats on cosmetic procedures for men, including one unnamed famous actor who changed his “monster nose.”

In faces, as in fashion, what’s hot changes. Square jaws (think Jon Hamm, Michael Fassbender, Daniel Craig) are in, replacing yesterday’s pert-nose-and-dainty-chin combo (Leonardo DiCaprioZac Efron, Tobey Maguire). “There’s less of a desire now for a conventionally beautiful white-bread face,” says Dr. Steven Teitelbaum, an associate professor of plastic surgery at UCLA School of Medicine. “People are embracing strong features like ethnic, nontraditional noses.” For example, in lieu of full-on rhinoplasty, many men are balancing their naturally big noses with chin implants (which have recently spiked by 71 percent, according to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons) or opting to have their noses trimmed back.

“I did a rhinoplasty and a chin implant on a famous actor who had a monster nose and no chin. We left a bit of a bump in the nose, so it still looked like his, just a better version,” says Dr. Darrick Antell, assistant clinical professor of surgery at Columbia University. “No one, including the producer on his next project, noticed he’d had a nose job.”

Who do we think it is? Anyone want to make a guess? Our clues are “monster nose” and “no chin.” Which means that after the surgery he had a chin and a nose with “a bit of a bump left so it still looked like his.” I’m guessing Bradley Cooper, because f-ck it.

Also if you thought there was any chance in hell I was going to mention Jon Hamm in an article and not mention his dong, you’d be wrong.

Kristen Stewart Wants to Be A Bond Girl, Daniel Craig Says No

A photo of Daniel Craig

Ok, so let’s start at the beginning here. Kristen Stewart was doing an interview, and at one point the guy asked her if she’d ever be a Bond girl. Here’s what she said:

“I’m not sure, I would love to read a few graphs of the script. I choose my roles really instinctually (sic). I would really have to connect with the material.”

Right? And when she was pressed, she “I don’t know, maybe,” and when she was asked again, she said “yes, hell yes.” So we know that Kristen Stewart has either a vague interest in being in a James Bond movie or an understandably short fuse when it comes to persistent dudes giving interviews.

But you know what? It doesn’t matter? Because someone else did an interview with Daniel Craig, the current James Bond, and he was asked what he thought about Kristen’s Bond comments. And here’s how he responded:

“No,” Craig answers with disgust. “She’s in Twilight.”

Snap! But then he realized he was probably being a little too bitchy, so he clarified:

“No, I’m being nasty. I’m only saying that because it’s [Breaking Dawn Part 2] coming out this weekend so we’re in direct competition with them,” he admits with a chuckle. “I’m sure she’d make a great Bond girl.”

Oh, Daniel, you usually have no problem telling us how you really feel! What’s the problem? Why did you take it back? It’s ok, we all know that Kristen Stewart would make a horrible Bond girl. Stick with your words, Daniel. Stick with your words.